Fair & balanced


We are out of Juliefest Tickets - maybe.
We can possibly fit a few more in, but we won't 
know until we can nail down the hard count.
Check back often cause when they're gone, they're gone
The first fifty tickets should be e-mailed Thursday.


Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Cheney Leaving?

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

Julie's Rebuttal

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Volume 765 - Alien Sex Fiend


Thursday   April 4, 2002           Send Me an Angel            Recent old stuff            Shopping w/ Bart


"When Paul O'Neill, told congressional leaders this week that he planned to borrow
  tens of billions of dollars from federal employee retirement accounts to avoid a
  government default, Republicans in Congress just shrugged. When Robert Rubin did
  the same thing in 1995-96, House Republicans threatened to impeach him.

  House Rules Committee Chairman Gerald Solomon, R-N.Y., said he would "support
  impeachment proceedings should (Rubin) continue to bypass the Constitution."
    --Editorial, A highly partisan silence, RockyMountainNews.com, 4/01/02C

 ...and, of course, the sheepish Democrats remained totally silent.

Crossfire snippet

 Begala: Nothing would make me happier than to see the president engage successfully
               in the Middle East as he was in Afghanistan. I was a big supporter of the effort
               in Afghanistan, I remain a supporter of the war against terrorism.

               But he's been AWOL on the war in the Middle East,
               just as he was AWOL when he was in the National Guard.

  ha ha

 I love the new Crossfire

 There's always something good at 

Subject: Will Begala and Carville dare touch the early W scandals?

Robin Gertner  (Bush paid for her abortion when abortions were felonies)
Bush's desertion from The National Guard
Bush's arrest record and it's coverup
Bush's FAA medical file
George and Jeb's flying florida cocaine pickup
Arbusto Energy's Ties to the bin Laden family
Funeralgate and perjury
Harken and Bahrain Oil Deal
Insider trading
Rangers Imminent Domain Land Grab

Or will we continue to have a media blackout on these scandals?


If I have the good fortune to meet Carville or Begala,
I'm going to ask them how many times the governor has been arrested.

When they answer, "I'm not exactly sure,"
I'm going to suggest that'd be a great topic for a Crossfire.

The arrest question has "guarantee" written all over it.


 "There needs to be a focused, coalition effort in the region
   against peace -- ...I mean, against terror for peace."
    -- the stupidest man in Crawford, Texas

From: Yelland

Subject: OBL

The reason OBL's irrevelant, is that the goal (get the Taliban away from the pipeline) is done.
The reason for 9-11 is to avert a war with China, who would supply arms to the Taliban after
they taxed/owned the oil pipeline, and Israel/USA can't allow that now can we ?

We'd end up defending Israel against some pretty heavy artillery the Taliban (and OBL)
would then own, 5 years down the road...ie, get rid of the Taliban or else they nuke Israel.

Scary goddamn thought...

Not what you said, ...the other goddamn scary thought.
That scenario provides cover for Cheney and Poppy.

Some people say FDR allowed Pearl Harbor to happen to get us in the game.

With a willing, puppydog press and no political opposition, maybe the B.F.E.E. could spin a story like,
"We had to get America in this war now or risk a China-backed Taliban going nuclear
   over Israel in five years.  We hated that we did what we did on September 11th,
   and we really regret the loss of life - but look at the millions we saved?"

...that's not what I want to hear from the Governor.

I don't want to hear that as we're being thrown the keys to an empty lockbox

Remember - they already did this - they got caught, remember?

Arming terrorists!
Secret multi-milliondollar deals!
STOLEN American weapons!

They've already been caught once!

And all the same dudes are back at their old positions.
...after they've all been caught doing this already!

Poppy pardoned the whole gang to prevent Weinburger from testifying,
because Cap told the press he wouldn't go to jail for this President.

Doesn't anybody remember?

Naderite Phil Donahue signs with MSNBC for talk show

...somebody pinch me.

From: the-dailyrant.com

Subject: Debate!

Hey BC

I know you are heavy into getting things ready for Juliefest.
BTW, congrats on getting the Carville place to do it.
I happen to like Carville a lot despite the fact that he is a loon! Ha!

Hey, I know you are always talking about debating people.
I want in on this.

What are the rules?
Where is it done?
When can it be done?
Im looking forward to laying the smack down against you.

Let me know when you want to do this and what the process is.
I look forward to it.




A guy with a real web page - wanting to debate?
This has to be a trick.
Artie, is that you?

Is this really my lucky day?

No rules, really, but if it deteriorates into pure name-calling we'd stop.
When I debate live, I might say, "That's a stupid idea," but not "You're stupid."

If we use the Bartcop Network54 chat room, the moderator can prevent others
from interrupting, so that's a help.

Thursday nights 9 PM CST is good for me (but we need notice - tonight is too soon)
because ER sucks so bad I can't stand to watch it anymore.

One unusual thing - you don't have to agree with my assertion that Bush
pardoned a bunch of Reagan's cabinet to bury proof of their Iran-Contra crimes forever,
but you have to at least admit the pardons happened.

This might help:

 That way, if you claim Bill Clinton was corrupt and committed multiple felonies
 while he was president I can say, "Compared to whom?"

 Also, I'm a lot nicer and more patient than whatever you're expecting.
 I'd really like to find a rightie to debate regularly.

 What do Yassir Arafat and Ozzy Osbourne have in common?

 When things really hit the fan,
 such as a tank breaking thru a wall
 or the trash can liner is missing
 from the kitchen recycle bin,

 ...both scream, "Sharon!"


"Like a belated belch from a bad meal, Newsweek is now featuring an interview
  with former president Bill Clinton. They chose that hard-as-nails unbiased reporter
  Jonathan Alter to do it. Was Joe Conason unavailable?"
    --Andrew (Captain Bareback) Sullivan

 Funny, when Governor Bush agrees to do a "hard-hitting" interview with a Fox News whore
 Sullivan's sense of press ethics takes a short vacation. I guess it's all part of being "fair & balanced."

 ...and certainly one reason he attacked Conason is because Joe is one of about two
 columnists in the country who hasn't taken Scaife money to attack Bill Clinton.

 Hey, Bareback - how much have you received from Scaife?

 I got CASH MONEY that says Captain Bareback is
 either on Scaife's payroll or has been on Scaife's payroll.

 ...and he's got a problem with someone else's journalistic ethics?

 Tawny Kitaen attacks ball player husband


  Click  Here

 "Officer, it was terrible - she's a raging bull and I'm just a pro athlete!"

From: Luis

Subject: Clinton, Bin Laden, Sharon

Doesn't anybody in the media find any irony in the fact that the republinazis spent
over $70 Million taxpayer dollars to uncover a blowjob, but are not even willing
to spend $25 Million (now reduced to what?) dollars to get Bin Laden "dead or alive"?
Luis, it's a matter of priorities.
They wanted Clinton a lot more than bin Laden.

Its also ironic that the whole current intifada/war/bloddletting started when Sharon
visited the Temple Mount (also the location of the Al Aqsa mosque), just when
Clinton had almost secured a peace deal before leaving office.

Correction - that was always the B.F.E.E. plan.
Remember, when Barak and Arafat were at Camp David in 2000, they were
on the verge of signing a peace accord (maybe it would've lasted - maybe not)
but the Bush camp "warned" Israel NOT to sign anything.

...and look what we have as a result of their meddling?

 Brock blows cover off vast right-wing conspiracy
    by the generally left-leaning Bill Press

  Click  Here

 If you think reporters always tell the truth -- read this book. If you're looking for proof of
 corruption and immoral behavior among the nation's most famous conservatives -- read this book.
 If you want to learn all about organized crime -- for God's sake, read this book.

 David Brock's "Blinded by the Right" reads like the memoirs of a mafia hit man.
 But it's the personal story of a former Republican hit man, instead.

 Funny, ...I didn't get, ...make that didn't see even one piece of mail on my Panic Room review.
 It's the most-watched movie in America this week - somebody had to see it, right?
 Maybe it was my straddle that put everyone to sleep?

 Also, that Washington DC-1998 trip report generated one, lone reply:
 ha ha ...some guy wanted to know what the German Shepherd did to Wolf Blitzer,
 That was the most fun I had the whole trip.

 But the tricky part is - you people don't click.
 Ordinarily that'd be OK, because I skip over lots of stuff, too.
 But because of some quirk, I can't put up a page of text larger than 40K,
 so if a day's issue is 65K, I snip off 25K and turn it into a link.

 ...but people don't click on the links... hmmm...

 There a theorem for this, ...what is it...?

 I have it.
 I will write less.


ha ha
It's funny because it's true!

 ...graphic stolen from Marty's E! page

 Subject:  Yeah, The Osbournes, but have you seen The Shield?

 Yes, the Osbournes are great. I started watching because of you.
 Now, time to return the favor. Check out The Shield on FX.
 It runs Tuesday at 10 pm on FX.

 Yes, I have - every show - and The Shield is a great cop show.
 Every show is life and death.

 The first two, maybe three shows were directed by Clark Johnson,
 who played "Meldrick" on Homicide and you can see Homicide in The Shield.
 It's not perfect, but it's a gritty cop show that uses the language most Americans use.

 I don't tune in to hear "asshole,"  "prick,"  and  "suck me, loser," but that's how hard people talk.
 On most silly-ass American TV shows, a gang-member gets shot and says,
 "Oh, Jumpin' Jeepers, I'm shot."  That reminds the viewer it's a silly-ass network show.

 Besides good writing, and good directing it has Michael Chiklis.(sp?)
 I hate this guy, but I love him in this show.
 He's one of the most arrogant bastards who's even been on TV, and he's got
 a rouph side and a lovable, softer side and, and, ...what else,  ...Oh, yeah - he kills cops!

 ha ha

 That's almost like having a curve thrown at you.
 He started out as a cut-the-corners kind of cop that we all love on the screen,
 but at the end of the first show, he executed "Mikey" from Homicide.
 Just "boom" - a shot to the face and goodbye, Mikey the I.A.D. cop.

 ...and the shooter is the star of the damn show!

 Closing thought (applause)
 In the last show, "Vic" was dispensing street justice to two dawgs from the 'hood.
 Two rival gang leaders were shooting up half of LA so Vic locked them both in an old
 shipping container down at the shipyards.  He told them to settle their differences "like men"
 and he'd be back the next morning and everything would be back to normal.

 So the next morning Vic and The Wolf show up and golly-gosh-a goshen,
 (see how stupid that sounds when dealing with gang bosses?)
 - one fella murdered the other fella dead in the container.
 He emerged from the container covered in blood from the bare-hands murder.

 Vic and The Wolf look at each other like, "Oh, Christ - whadda we do?"
 and the Wolf is like, "You go on, I'll clean this up."

 So, Vic the murdering cop walks up behind the victorious murderer who's been
 staring at the rising sun pondering his fate, and you expect Vic to say something like,
 "You know you gotta do time for this," or "There's no way I can protect you now..."

 But nooooooo.

 Vic says, "Hey, ...wanna get some breakfast?"

 Ok, ...it's not West Wing, it's not The Sopranos, but it's in the Top Five.

Followup to yesterday's need-a-staff coment

Subject: Dubya's uncle

His name is Prescott Bush, same as his dad's name was. He may have been a Jr. until
Senator Prescott Bush, Dubya's grandfather, died. He was the fellow that GHW Bush
sent to China soon after Tien Ah Mien (sp?) Square to reassure the Chinese that the
business deals would keep on rolling after the tanks had stopped.

Keep up the good work.


Jim, great work!
For extra credit, what's Prescott's official title?
It's something like "Ambassador of Commerce to China," something like that.
It's why the Bush boy fellated the commies when they had our brave airmen.
It could've interfered with the BFEE earning, so the Governor had to grovel.

...it's all in the back pages.

 ..somebody knows...

Incoherent Strategry

 Don't forget to check 

 My Cardinals were undefeated.

 Help Wanted

 Need Ben Affleck lookalike with Robin Williams-type comedic skills
 and the political brain of Bill Clinton for 3 hour dupe in DC. 

 Sean Connery accent a plus.  Must be able to charm the ladies while
 maintining a "man's man" image for the not-easily-amused guys.

 Low pay (fundraiser) but opportunity to meet Washington extra-powerful, ultra-elite
 do to heroine's triumphant return to mainstream society after 4-yr fed gov assault.

 Free wine and beer.
 Serious inquiries will not be made public.


"The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden.
  It is our Number one priority and we will not rest until we find him!"
   -- Governor Bush, September 13, 2001

"I don't know where bin Laden is.
  I have no idea and I really don't care.
  It's not that important. It's not our priority."
  --  Governor Bush, March 13, 2002


"Unka Dick says I can get away with this because
  we own the press, people are still believeing me
  and the Democrats are too afraid to oppose me.

  ...little worried about that BartCop Hex, tho..."

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