Fair & balanced

POLITICS - HUMOR - FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE 
 TRAVEL - SPORTS - GARBAGE - ENTERTAINMENT
 


Click 
We have a few tickets left...


 
Irrelevant?

Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Return - Poker at Al's

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

 


Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
  PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466.... Tulsa, OK  74155

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Back Issues
Links
Contact Us
Project 60
Demo Underground
JFK Conspiracy
BC Entertainment
BartCop Sports
MediaWhoresOnline
Chat & Post
BartCop Reader
The Vegas Report
New to BartCop?
BartCop Books
Online Journal
Bart Cook
Your Ad Here
BC Astrologer
BartCop Store
Buzzflash
Joe Conason
Gene Lyons
Julie Hiatt Steele
 

Volume 775 - Bitterness and Hollowness


Tuesday   April 16, 2002           Send Me an Angel    Recent old stuff     Shopping w/ Bart
  VCR Alert - It's another Super-Tuesday on your TV - Tonight's pulse-pounding 24 features
   Bush's good friend Dennis Hopper and the non-wolf version of Lou Diamond Phillips.
   Plus Best New Drama  The Shield on F/X. Tonight, the boys bust a prostitution ring, ...and then,
   Best New Comedy The Osbournes.  I wonder who's cleaner - Ozzy's kids or the Bush twins? 

 Quotes

"I once woke up after a party and found a syringe sticking out of my arm.
  Hell, I died twice in the emergency room and they brought me back.
  I've had so many ODs I can't remember them all. The car crashes, the fights,
  the mayhem we caused - but there's nothing like Ozzy.  That man is crazy.
  We were all drunk in Florida one morning, walking down the street to go
  somewhere and somebody dared Ozzy to do something crazy so he asked if
  anybody had a straw. Someone handed him a straw and he got down on his knees
  on the sidewalk and snorted a line of f-ing ants. That Ozzy, he's crazy"
    -- Nikki Sixx of Motley Crew, from VH-1's Behind the Music



  All new Vegas Report 

    Click  Here

What do they really know about me? - casinos track your every penny.

Shaq is Not My Neighbor - Famous (and not so famous) VIPs call Vegas home.

UNLVino - Nation's biggest single day wine tasting fest

Patricia Scotto - Downtown Vegas Tries to revitalize itself (again).



Dear President Bush,
Please don't kill us.


 News from West24

 They have ordered a case of Chinaco Anejo.
 Hey, this is starting to sound like a party.
 A case of Chinaco Anejo?

 I think  Juliefest2002-DC  has already made history.

 Tickets are still available

 Each ticket sold is more foundation and more security for Julie, ...so let's party!

 Also, I mentioned the Juliefest2002-DC Soundtrack.
 I put together some background music for the evening, which is half Garbage songs
 and half good old party songs and some right-on-the-moment songs.

 I mentioned the Jackie Brown song "Across 110th Street"
 which was merely a personal favorite of mine until I ran into the line,
"You don't know what you'll do until you're put under pressure."
 I'll never hear that song again without thinking about The Lady of Steele.

 But that begat other songs that we could (but won't) spent the night debating.
 Going thru the stack o' CDs, The Clash's, "I Fought the Law" jumped out,
 so it's the big repeat song of the night. Maybe if things get rowdy, when that song
 comes on the West24 sound system, we could all chug our drinks and shout out,
 "She fought the law and ...SHE won, she fought the law and ...SHE won."

 Sure, it sounds stupid now, but it might be the only thing you remember Sunday.

 Madonna's "Over and over, I get up again," seemed a logical choice.
 King's X's "Over My Head" for H. Kenny made sense.
 Scandal's "Goodbye to You" for the entire VRWC.
 Shania's "Man, I Feel Like a Woman," for the girl's who are out to party that night.
 Zappa's "I Am the Slime" for the lying whore media.
 Stevie's "I Was Made to Love Her" for everyone who was compelled to contribute.
 ZZ Top's "Under Pressure..." the list goes on...

 ...but when you hear that Clash song on the West24 sound system, shout out
"She fought the law and ...SHE won, she fought the law and ...SHE won."

 Biiiiiiiig party at Carville's place!

BTW, our new tally is
Sub-Total $20,825 

...but $20,825 is so not a round number, you know?
Now, ...$25,000 - that's a round number.
If we could reach $25,000, that'd make Juliefest a real success, wouldn't it?

If all the readers who haven't yet contributed would just send in $10
we could break $25,000 before the end of the day. If you sign up with PayPal,
they'll GIVE you $5, so all it would cost you is $5 and you'd be a part of history.

Help a hero out, would you?

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
  PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com


Subject: Time table of 9/11/2001

Bartcop

I have recently been involved in an online debate regarding GWs comments
on 9/11/2001 about seeing the first plane hit the tower. I have read the transcripts
at CNN and The Guardian, and a resonably intelligent person would say,
"Obviously he saw the second plane hit the tower on TV was mistaken to its identity
and then an aide told him about it later not knowing GW saw it on TV beforehand".

Valid assumption, but Bush repeated that line again and again.
If he misspoke, why didn't the boy's handlers correct him?
 

However my next question would be, "What was the timetable of events, when we saw the aide
whipser in his ear on CNN and when the first and second planes hit".  Could you, would you
please point me in the right direction to end this as fact or conspiracy theory #149.

Robert
 

My pointer doesn't work very well, maybe someone can assist, but for sure Bush knew about
the first plane before he went into the school. He told ABC he was aware of it while getting out
of Al Gore's limo. When we saw the aide whisper to him on camera, he was telling him about the
second plane, which means continuing to read to those kids was a stupid decision by the governor.



Pamela Anderson is engaged to be married again.
In 6 months she'll be on Leno announcing her divorce,
saying Osama had been beating her.


From: Thomas

Subject: Malfeasence in office?

A few days back, on Crossfire, Paul Begala made the point that
30 Reagan officials were indicted, yet only one Clinton official was indicted.

Is this true? If so, it sure would be nice to have a list of all those Reaganauts who were indicted.
Better yet if we had a list of who was convicted. And what about Bush I -- anything interesting there?
 

I heard him say that and I'll bet it's true.
Notice Bow Tie Boy didn't call him on it.

...anybody have a list for Thomas?


Roar like a lion
   by James Higdon

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
The question has often been asked of late:  "What is a hero?"  I will tell you what a hero is.  A hero is, by status
and constitution, no different than any of us.  A hero is someone compelled by circumstance and necessity to act
boldly in the face of great risk when others may not, or can not.  A hero is Julie Hiatt Steele.

Shortly an event will take place in Washington, DC, at James Carville's West 24, that Bartcop has dubbed
Juliefest2002.  The purpose is to raise money for Ms. Steele to alleviate the destruction brought upon her life
by Kathleen Willey's lies, and Ken Starr's jihad to bring down America's last popularly elected president.  Ms. Steele
suffered merely because she had the courage to speak the truth to those intent on illegitimately gaining power.



Click


 Good article (spoilers) that explains Mulholland Drive

  Click  Here


 Subject: Clinton's Stupidity

 one thing in particular has always bothered the crap out of me.
 I wonder what your opinion of it is.

 Bill Clinton knew the GOP was out to get him from the day he took office.  Hell, even
 before that.  They were throwing every little thing at him to see what stuck.

 So, why would he be so stupid as to have some intern give him a beej in the White House?
 You'd think someone of his obvious intelligence would know that the possibility of it coming
 back to bite him (pun intended) was huge!  Why in hell would he do this?!!

 Bart for Prez 2004!

 Great King Rat
 

 GKR, it's possible that even he can't explain that, but I have a theory:
 I think maybe a little nobody from Nowhere, Arkansas grew up to be the most powerful
 man on the planet and everything was going his way and he wanted to see how far the
 rubberband would stretch before it broke.

 The concept has come up before - when there's nobody to tell you, "No."
 IMO, that's what killed Belushi, Bonham, Moon, Hendrix, Morrison, Joplin and so on.
 Besides, men are dogs, and lust drives them crazy.

  Sidebar:
 My old boss is the cheapest, tightest man who ever lived.
 He's a multi-millionaire who's half-blind because he won't pay for eyeglasses.
 We won't buy gum or a Pepsi because it's "money wasted."
 He has rabbit ears on his TV because "cable costs too much," yet he'd approve loans
 to coke-addicted strippers knowing he'd likely lose thousands because he wanted to see
 them when they made payments each month.  The idea of sex drives men crazy.

 Last thing - this takes the cake - he became rich because grown men will feed twenty after
 twenty into a video poker machine where a cartoon lady strips if you gamble correctly.
 I've seen men pay $100 to get a glimpse of some cartoon character's titties, proving men are insane.


 I read about it on


 I'm getting all spiffed up for Juliefest.
 My dentist has ordered me a diamond for my gold tooth.



Check out 


Crossfire Moment

"A two-year-old could see this crisis coming. And the idea it could be brushed
  under the carpet as the administration focused on either Afghanistan or Iraq
  reflects either appalling arrogance or ignorance."
   -- Paul Begala, quoting Geoffrey Kemp, who led the Middle East efforts
       for President Reagan on the national security council.
 

 Even Reagan's people say President Pinhead has the brain of "a two-year-old."


  SF Examiner predicted Coup
    by Marc Perkel, San Fransisco

  Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 The Chavez government is presently trying to change the 60-year-old agreement with
 foreign oil companies that charges them as little as 1 percent in royalties and hands out huge
 tax breaks. There is a lot at stake here. Venezuela has 77 billion barrels of proven reserves
 and is the United States' third-biggest source of oil. It is also a major cash cow for the likes of
 Phillips Petroleum and ExxonMobil. If the new law goes through, U.S. and French oil
 companies will have to pony up a bigger slice of their take.
 

 Why did the government change in Venezuela?
 Because the B.F.E.E. wanted a bigger Piece of the Action.

 Like that classic Star Trek episode of the same name, the B.F.E.E. swooped down on the
 backwards Oxmyx Venezuelan gang with our starship and demanded a bigger piece of the action.
 Instead of giving him the Billy Jack treatment, they allowed him to survive.
 What the Democrats need is a cleverly played game of Fisbin.

 Our starship has fallen into evil hands.


 Osama to the Rescue


          Click


Subject: Bonus Section

Check with your technical staff on this one but when I click on the bonus page
I always open it in a new window. I open most links in new windows.
Maybe it doesn't register as a click on your end.

Who knows, who gives a fuck?
 

It's Rude Rich!

...that's why we love him.



Subject: Jews to Oklahoma - in only 234 years!

Bart,
Enough with the screaming eagles crap.
Let's put aside the reasons that they wanted their own homeland
since you only listen to the one you came up with anyway.

Let's say all Israelis wanted to move to the USA.
They should start their applications soon because there is a limit of
25,620 from any one country allowed to move to the US per year.
For 6 million people that will only take about 234 years;
longer if those who remain have children.

Bill
 

Bill, the Bill of Rights and the Constitution of the United States have been discarded,
so I doubt the immigration laws are so set in stone that we'd rather watch Israel burn,
blow up or get nuked than have congress stay late some Friday and rewrite them.

If you think Israel should stay and die, that's your opinion,
but my preference that they move and live isn't without its merits.


Subject: The World Court Controls You Now

Bartcop:
Look what you Liberals have done now.
You have stripped the Bill of Rights from us and ripped our Constitution away.

Now that backer of terror Kofi Annan and the heinous United Nations
can arrest you or me anywhere in the world and bring us to trial without
due process of our legal system nor is any appeal possible.

All our soldiers are subject to arrest by the UN backed World Court.
All those Communists and Socialists on the World Court are ready to
rip apart Christians and leave alone Muslim terrorists.
They will be arresting out soldiers fighting terrorism throughout the world.

No one is safe any more.  Big Brother in the UN and World Court are
watching you and grabbing your rights away from you.
You did it.

Congratulations Liberal Democrat Nazis.
Thorgy Troveman
 

Dude, whatever you're smoking, can I buy $50 worth?
We can't get that kind of quality in Oklahoma.

Are you under the impression the Democrats are running this show?
Or are you blaming Clinton and your e-mail arrived two years late?




                                     click


Subject: Bart, PLEASE snap out of it!

You wrote:

>"No bonus section today
> The counter says only one-in-five readers bothered to click, so I'm guessing
> that time could be better spend doing something else, perhaps staring into space.

Bart, for Koresh's sake, PLEASE SNAP OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSION!!!!
I'm ONE of those one-in-five readers who 'bothered' to click."

Not ALL Democrats are wimpish!
Were it not for your website, I, too, may have given up!!!

<snippage>

Thanks for listening, now get off the "self-pity" thing, will YA?  Ha Ha Ha!

My wife, Barb, and I would LOVE to attend JulieFest2002.
We can't, but give our best to Julie!

Doug Keene


 Does anyone know of a mail program
 that can handle a lot of mail?

  I seem to have outgrown Eudora, and forget virus-king Microsoft Express.

  Money is no object - I have to have a reliable mail system to stay alive,
  but if I pay for mail, the damn thing had better work.



  Day TEN of the idiotic "Bush Doctrine" in the Middle East

 Sharon Defies Bush
  US President seen as pitifully clueless

 The Bush boy:  Withdraw immediately! Stop the suicide bombs.

 Sharon: Tell you what - I'll withdraw "soon."
  Arafat:  ÊÏì ÇáÍæÇÑ, little smirking boy


For what it's worth, I get so much good e-mail that never gets published, it's a shame.

Sometimes, late at night, I'll have 40 e-mails to get to and only read the first ten, and out of
the first ten, four are killer but I can only publish two, and I always wonder what's buried
in the other 30 unread e-mails.

Great personal stories that will forever remain unread?
Angels with offers of a tryout being goofy in front of a microphone??
Stalker threats that warn me that I only have 24 hours to respond?

...the unmined material, the unread killer joke, the laughs that never were.

Remember the classic Star Trek with Joan Collins where "the portal" or whatever
had been high-band broadcasting Earth's entire video history for minutes and Spock says,
"I'm such a fool, I could've been recording all this on my tricorder."

Yep, ...that's just what this is like.

I worry about the guy who spent two hours writing a comedy rant, who sent it in for my opinion
and never heard back from me. He thinks I think his stuff sucks, but what if it never got read?

The graphics boy who spent hours getting  a cartoon just like he wanted it,
and then I find it six months later when it's no longer relevant - that's bad.

The serious rants that can't be explored because there's too much mechanical work
to be done but I always mean to get back to it later, but then there's tomoro's issue.

If I could unload my loser day job, and hire a staff of two, we still couldn't read all the mail,
but there'd be fewer laughs that remained undiscovered.

Someday and angel will appear - I hope it's soon.


. If you go to google.com, and search for "bartcop,"
 you'll see some unlucky person has paid for an attack ad
 to pop up whenever "bartcop" is the search object.

 The ad says,

 Bartcop is a cancer  (Actually I'm a virgo)
 Learn to think for yourself!
 Separate spin from substance.
 www.NeoThought.net

 He seems smarter than the average bear,
 but he's essentially requesting the red ass from my big boot.

 Stay tuned...


Shopping online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com  a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.

Search Now:
 
In Association with Amazon.com


 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2002, bartcop.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


 Shirley  Manson - contact bartcop.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Privacy Policy
. .