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A good Crossfire question: 
 How many times has Dubya been convicted of a felony,
and why is his police record none of our business?


 
Irrelevant?

Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Return - Poker at Al's

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

 


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Volume 783 - The Faults in my Head


click


Thursday    April 25, 2002           Send Me an Angel          Recent old stuff        Shopping w/ Bart 

 Quotes

"If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed;
  if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.
    -- Mark Twain


 You just GOTTA Click  Here


 No, Karl Didn't Ice Her
     by Maureen Dowd     - She hates everybody - this time it's Karen Hughes

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 All day long we rooted around for evidence that Karen Hughes was giving up
 her White House perch because of some vicious turf battle with Karl Rove
 or some fatal screw-up with the Venezuelan coup or the Middle East crisis.

 The most powerful woman as opposed to lady in White House history
 couldn't possibly be walking away in the middle of a war because of family.
 Darn it all, is that the coup de grâce for Have It All?



Subject: Comments by friends

Bart,

I am having a tough time with some guys at work who are real right wingers who I referred to your website.
They harass me now every day with things they point out are wrong that you say.  I have a hard time
disagreeing with them when they show proof.  I believe in you and the Democratic Party.
How do I defend you?

Fred, send them after me.
I'll treat them like Carville in a sour mood.
 

Please give evidence of the claims you make on your website.
I have been listening to Rush Limbaugh daily and Michael Savage at night as these guys suggested.
They have lots of evidence to back them up in what they say.
Help!

Fred Johnson
 

Fred, they have no evidence.

If they did, you'd see it on Crossfire every night.
Tell them to get together as a team and, two weeks from tonight,
I'll give them all the red-ass at the same time in the live chat room.


 Sub-Total $24,450 
  Sure would like to see a thirty there, instead of $24,450...

 A couple of things need to be said:
 Christian Livemore is the only person who speaks for me and  bartcop.com.
 If you didn't hear it from Christian or myself, it's not true, OK?

 Second, due to circumstances, there will be no "surprises" allowed in the room.
 That means you can't bring a wrapped gift for Julie.  If you have a gift for Julie,
 it's gotta go thru Christian or me, first - so don't wrap it - no secrets, no surprises.

 Third, you can't bring anything into the room with you. No manila envelopes, no cameras,
 no bags, no boxes, no liquor, nothing - nada. Small purses are OK, but if it's big enough
 to hide a dog in it we'll need to look inside. You can't carry anything else into the room.

 We are going to be Stalin-esque about individual rights Saturday night.
 We're going to make Field Marshall Ashcroft look like a Fourth Amendment lawyer for the ACLU.

 Fourth, Christian is already on her way to Julie's, so things are in motion.
 We expect her to be able to fill last-minute, PayPal ticket requests from the road.



 Quotes

"You want to make a lot of money? I'll give you two bets to make -  Hillary doesn't
   run for president in 2004 and Mary Matalin does not want or will not get Karen's job
   . . . Because if she gets that job, she'll have to get a new husband."
       -- Our generous host, the Ragin' Cajun, on Imus



Bill Bennett, "Mister Values,"
who is silent on priest sexual abuse
because Mr. Scaife won't pay
for a Catholic scandal.


 They're out ta get me
 They won't catch me
 I'm innocent
 They won't break me

 They're out to get me
 They won't catch me
 I'm innocent
 So you can suck me

 Take that one to heart
     -- Axl Rose


 ...and down the stretch they come!

 Are you ready?

 Chinaco on your taste buds,
 Garbage in your ears,
 ...and a tornado in the form of a Southern Belle.

 You're not ever going to forget 4/27/02

 You only have hours left!

 Friday, we have no computers, so no more tickets.
 But if you can't make it to West24 Saturday, send Julie a little something.
 Snail write to her at PO Box 1351, Virginia Beach, VA 23451
 If you're totally flat broke, at least send an e-mail of support to  juliehiattsteele@bartcop.com

 Also, don't forget the official  Juliefest2002-DC  Soundtrack.
 The Clash's I Fought the Law will play every 40 minutes.

 ...so when you hear it on James's West24 sound system, shout out
"She fought the law and ...SHE won,
  she fought the law and ...SHE won."

 Could be the highlight of the video.



  Has anybody seen the salve?
 Patrick gets the red-ass

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 2. Not sure which of the Amendments you're referring to?  The one that says you can't prevent me
 from the free exercise of my religion, like putting a Nativity Scene on public land at Christmas?

 That's crazy talk. What if Muhammed Atta was a citizen and wanted YOUR tax money to build a monument
 to Islam that called America "The Great Satan?" Are you still for using tax dollars to promote religion?
 Or do you just want the "real" God worshipped, and not the false ones?


 Don't forget


Subject: dear bartcop, thanks

That's all.  And I hope to get to meet you on Saturday.
I feel so isolated and unreal, even though I don't actually know any Repuglicans.
Your site is kind of like a clear breeze through my brain.
Thanks for doing all that work.

Ellen
 

Hey, it's Julie you want to meet.
She's the hero - I'm just Tequilaboy.



 I don't want to beat up on The Pope, but Nightline said Wednesday night that The Pope
 said the celibacy issue would NOT be on the table as long as he was Pope,
 and the subject of Cardinal Law resigning never even came up.

 But they really, really want to fix the problem of raped children?

 Stay on the course that causes the problem
 and refuse to punish those who covered up the crimes?


Can you please explain the "screaming eagles" remark you keep using.
Why do you speak in code like that?

It's not code, I use parables, like Jesus.
The point is, if screaming eagles were kidnapping kids each day,
people would join together and stop the eagles or move the hell away.

But since it's religious insanity that's killing kids,
both sides say, "It's the cost of doing business."

A dead kid is a dead kid.


 Check out 


  They couldn't have screwed this up more if the Boy King was in charge.
 U.S. Cardinals Decline Zero-Tolerance Pedophile Priests

   Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 American cardinals backed down from a zero-tolerance policy of removing pedophile
 priests and indicated they would only go after repeat offenders.

 Whoa!
 That sentence is busier than a priest gone bad.

 First, "American cardinals backed down?"
 Why didn't the Pope issue a Papal Proclamation?
 Are the cardinals giving the Pope political cover?
 Does the Pope have plausible deniability this way?
 "It's out of my hands - the cardinals voted..."
 Not sure, I think I'm about to be sick.

 Second, how can they reject zero-tolerance?
 By definition, it means "We'll tolerate some child rapes."
 Words mean things, that's what makes them words.

 Third, "only serial offenders?"
 How many times does a priest have to get caught?  three?  eight?  sixty?
 When 25 seven-year olds come forward, does that count as one strike?

 Fourth, saw a poll on CNN last night.
 18 percent think the Church is trying to fix this horrendous problem.
 Catholics only, 23 percent think the Church is serious about stopping this.
 Only Linda Tripp and Ken Starr have lower approval ratings than that.

  Excerpt Two:
 The decision came during a meeting in which Pope John Paul II warned the
 church leaders that he had lived under communist rule in Poland and feared that
 bishops might use their administrative power unfairly against innocent priests

 What?
 The child rapes will continue because the Pope can't trust his bishops?
 The child rapes will continue because the Pope lived under Communist rule?
 You Catholics going to accept that?
 You going to continue to send your boys to this "some tolerance" group of men?

 ...and if something bad happens, and your boy grows up to be a child molester and a
 church arsonist, are you going to say, "I had no way of knowing this might happen?"
 



Subject: You need to get a clue, BartCop

Israel is not fighting for sand, they are fighting for their very existence and because
without the state of Israel Jews the world over have no way to defend themselves
and are vulnerable to persecution without a country of their own.

They could move to Oklahoma, but we just have dirt here, no sand.

Israel is the only thing to protect Jews from another holocaust, it gives them
a place to go should that happen. Why is that so hard to understand Bart?

Their way, your way, the children are being blown to bits.
And you want to know why I don't understand?
They put their sand above the lives of their children.
I guess I'm just not smart enough to see the wisdom.

I guess I shouldn't expect a white gentile from Oklahoma to grasp what its like
to be persecuted for who you are. I don't expect you to understand the importance
of Israel for Jews.  And who cares about a fucking church.  They are shooting there
because that's where the fucking terrorists are hiding.

My, my - one of us has a potty mouth.

Your way = dead people.
My way = no dead people.

You're right, I don't understand.


 You must have a ticket to get in the room.

 Do NOT go to DC on a whim.
 Do NOT go to DC without a valid ticket e-mailed to you from Christian.
 Cops with guns have been hired to enforce the guest list.



  Flashback
 Former National Guard officer says
 Bush aide scrubbed military records
    by Linda L. Starr and Bev Conover as seen on onlinejournal.com

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 A former officer in the Texas National Guard says an aide to George W. Bush
 scrubbed Bush's military records to get rid of the disparities between those files
 and an account of Bush's military service in his official biography.
 

 Yes, protect the Unelected Fraud at all costs.
 Otherwise, the Bush Family Evil Empire might lose trillions in stolen income

 Thanks to the whore media for not asking ANY questions about Bush going AWOL,
 or Bush's arrest records,
 the abortion,
 the cocaine problem,
 the secret children,
 the alcohol problems,
 the serious lapses in concentration,
 the ethical lapses
 the submarine rides that killed nine students,
 and allllllllllllll the rest.
 


From: Roblaw

Though I've waited to see if a couple of financial things might roll through
and make a trip to D.C. possible, it now appears they won't.
DRAT!

Please gently imbibe a shot of Chinaco for me and beat the anti-Bush
war drums loud enough to be heard in Cheney's Hidey-Hole.

Regardless of turn-out (which no doubt will be strong) remember that it's only
a slim demographic representation of the horde of us out here who find Kenny's
attack on Mrs. Steele the most obscene thing to happen in the U.S. in living memory.

Peace.
 

Rob, I'll drink to that...



                                     click

 The Post Office brags about their phone rates.  $15 for 60 minutes. 
 That's 25 cents a minute!
 Your good friend BartCop sells long distance for one-third of that


Please tell Carville I think he's as sexy as Patrick Stewart, and his wit,
intellegence and SPINE make even HOTTER! Mary's a lucky gal.

Please remember every moment of any shaking hands with any Big Dogs,
so you can give all us Cinderellas a detailed play by play.

Please also make sure your videographers (hopefully you'll have at least TWO people taping),
have backup cameras.... so we can all get JulieFest2002 "DC" THE MOVIE - ASAP.
(You're going to go over the $30k mark with the tape sales.)

But most important of all - Tell Julie she ROCKS!

If it weren't for president Fredo's retarded assbackwards tax cut - now that my paychecks
are SMALLER - I'd be on a plane already...... damnit. Or if they'd just have rerun my silly
Providence episode so I could get another CHECK - but alas, no.

I CAN'T WAIT TO LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH EVERYONE
- So there needs to be TONS of TRIP REPORTS!

Your Cinderella, waiting for her Fairygodwhatever (didn't win the lotto again damnit),
hoping for JulieFest2002 "VEGAS BABY",

Tally



Watch Crossfire this Friday.
See if any  bartcop.com  readers
win a Corvette for mentioning
bartcop.com  on camera


 Quotes

 "Bono says forgiving third world debt will help those people.
   It doesn't take much of a brain to come up with that idea."

   No, Pigboy, but it does take a heart.
   You know any Republicans with a heart, Rush?

 "Here's a guy who takes maybe one bath a week, running around
   drinking Guinness and laughing at how he's fooled everybody."
   --  Rush, the most vulgar of all the vulgar pigs, third hour Wednesday
 

  In rough numbers, Bono and Rush have about the same amount of money.
  Bono spends the time to be friends with Hatch, Helms and Bush to push
 legislation thru the richest government in the world to help feed the poor.

  Meanwhile, Rush spends his time calling Chelsea "the White House dog,"
  and screaming race-based obscenities at Jesse Jackson and Jocelyn Elders.
 

  ...and Rush, on the bath issue - as far as we know, Bono didn't wiggle out
  of military service because his ass was so dirty that it got infected, like you did.


 Continuing our Worldwide BartCop series, this time we're in England.

 A day in the life of a typical American emigre....
 Letters from England
    by Stacey Mo

  Click  Here
 
 

 (Hey, you non-states livers - tell us about YOUR country)



  Day 17 of the Bush boy's bungling "Bush Doctrine" train wreck in the Middle East


 It could only be from ...Rude Rich

 Some new Sax player is playing at the Apollo for some fund raiser.
 I forget his name but I think his wife is a politician in NY.
 White guy...you'd recognize the name even as clueless as you are to the world of music.
 You can watch the whole sorrid affair at www.democrats.org live
 instead of watching that Garbage all night again.

 If you hadn't blown out your brains smoking cheap crack, you'd remember that I told you
 a few weeks ago that Garbage will be playing Roseland in The Capital Of The World.
 I'm to be coronated that nite so I can't make the concert. When I walk in the bar now
 I bless everyone, waving like Don Chech from Godfather I.

 While we're in DC, I'm going to visit the local legion hall bar and exchange license plates.
 If you're interested in seeing the dark side and drinking cheap, I can bring guests.
 

 Rich will be Secretary of Heavy Sarcasm in the BartCop Administration.


 I talked to Julie last night and I thought of something.

 When we "met," she was being thrown out of her home, and she was so nice to me,
 and sweet and gracious and bubbly - and she was getting thrown out of her damn home!
 She was at one of the lowest points in her life and she was still all fun and bubbly.

 You're a classy dame, Steele.

 Since then, her mood has brightened!
 She is bubbly times twenty at the thought of meeting everyone Saturday night.
 She's going to be flying around West24..

 I have upgraded her to an F-5.


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