“Bush can talk quite clearly on the subjects
that most interest him: baseball, football, campaign tactics, putting
men to death. On the other hand, our president is extraordinarily tongue-tied when
he’s trying, off the cuff, to sound a note of idealism, magnanimity or - especially
- compassion.” – Mark Crispin Miller, The Bush Dyslexicon,
now available
in paperback
You know how I feel about the whore media.
Lazy, stupid, crooked and always looking for a stupid hook.
Sunday, the radio nazi's talked about that bridge that was hit
by a barge and collapsed.
They kept saying "Motorists will have
to figure out another way to cross the river."
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say even monkeyboy Bush
could figure out how to safely detour around the fallen bridge.
But then again, heh heh,
he'd have to go thru Gore, Oklahoma to do it.
George
W Bush and the GOP gave me $300 for Sex Then they took it back when the deed was done. by withheld
I'm a stuck at home mom (that's a stay at
home mom who can't afford the choice to
return to the workforce). I don't have
any income, but just because my husband and I
file our taxes jointly, GWB and the GOP
deemed I was worth $300.
What did I do to earn that $300 rebate?
I've managed to remain married to my
Republican for 13 years, despite the fact
that I cook and clean like Peg Bundy,
talk like Sharon Osbourne and have the
fashion sense of Marge Simpson.
I'm no Suzi Homemaker or Martha Stewart,
so what else could it be but the sex?
So GWB and the GOP gave me $300 for doing
the Lewinsky. They were happy,
my Republican hubby was happy, and I had
$300 in my pocket to spend on some frou-frou
(even though thanks to BartCop, I knew
this was an advance, not a rebate, I was going to
"play up" the moment). When tax time came
and our $600 rebate turned into some
convoluted language on the tax return that
essentially said, "Screw you, your $600 rebate
was already deducted from your refund,"
hubby was a little disgusted. And he's even
more disgusted that The Lewsinsky is as
gone as that "extra" $600 from GWB & the GOP.
I'm now hearing "Bush is a one-termer"
at least three times a month.
The new
is up.
To kick it off, he's got a story by Mike Malloy, running back!
Court-appointed
commander Northwest Arkansas Times editorial,
Fayetteville, AR May 24, 2002
Excerpt: People who said they were glad George Bush
was leading the American response
to terrorist attack are choking on their
words. Recent events confirm that the founders
knew what they were doing when they provided
for the president to be chosen by the
voters, as Al Gore was, and not the Supreme
Court, as Bush was.
...after the airplanes struck the towers,
Bush spent the rest of the day darting around
the country, maintaining distance from
the crash sites, ostensibly on the recommendation
of security advisers. Bush's press secretary
defended this behavior by saying terrorists
had targeted the presidential plane. This
was a lie, it turns out.
There was no such targeting, at least none
that our government knew of.
Anyway, an army of security advisers couldn't
have kept President Clinton from
Ground Zero, and indeed former President
Clinton showed up there before Bush did.
India and Pakistan are still wanting to murder millions of innocent
people.
Remember in the campaign that reporter asked Smirk-for-Brains
if he knew
who the leader of Pakistan and since he's dumber than a sack
of snow,
he thought it'd be cute to fire back,
"No, ...do YOU?"
And, of course, the GOP and their willing media allies will tell
us again and again
how "lucky" we are to have a brainless flunky as president during
these tense times.
We didn't have ANY of these horrible problems when Clinton was
President.
When we had an elected president. our two biggest problems
were:
A.What to do with the $5,000,000,000,000.00 surplus, and... B.Which of Monica's nipples did Bill touch first, and when?
Under the Failure in Thief, we have a world war with thousands
of American dead,
Clinton's surplus has gone to line the pockets of the very richest
one percent,
we have a Bush-caused recsssion so his buddies can pick up some
property cheap,
we have the likelihood of an angry nuclear exchange between religio-crazies,
China has our most sophisticated spying and surveillance software
and hardware,
Enron stole billions, the Enron sub killed NINE, and the priests...
well, the priests
have been doing this for centuries, we can't blame Bush for their
current behavior,
state economies are crumbling because of the lost revenue and
on and on and on...
...but the media (and some Democrats) keep chanting how "lucky"
we are?
We used to live in Clinton's Paradise, now we live in Bush's hellhole.
They read it in Sydney. They read it in Bosnia. They read it in Austin.
...bartcop.com
We saw a lot of TV this weekend.
It's fun to get lost in those TV marathons.
We did some X-Files, then some Law
& Order, then some Star Trek.
We saw "City on the Edge of Forever," starring
Joan Collins.
TV Guide voted Edith Keeler's death as
the second-finest moment
in Star Trek history, with Next Generation
getting spots 1 & 3.
Wouldn't you agree that "City on the Edge
of Forever" was the best
episode ever of the original series?
You got McCpy on drugs, Spock got
his head caught in "the mechanical rice
picker," one of my all-time favorites.
You also had time travel and the first
man in history to die of a phaser overload.
It also contains, I believe, the only "cursing"
in the original series.
"Let's get the hell out of here." --Kirk
That was strong stuff back in the mid-sixties
Funny, Joan Collins in 1967 was only slightly less hot than she
is in 2002.
It's my guess all women hate Joan Collins. How dare she
look that good at 66?
What kind of deal did she make with the devil?
Somewhere, locked in a closet, is a
painting of a very old Joan Collins.
We also watched Midway,
starring Henry Fonda, Robert Mitchum and the gang.
Besides Chuck Heston, almost everybody was a big name actor in
that great piece of history.
My favorite part of the movie is when Mitchum comes down with
the clap and can't lead
the battle group so they must look for a replacement. Mitchum
suggests Nicky New Guy
who doesn't have the rank of some others, "but he knows carrier
tactics," he says.
Well, hell, it turns out the "new guy" is Glenn Ford!
If you can't trust Glenn Ford with your boat, you're in deep
trouble.
I mean Koresh - it's Glenn Ford!
I trust Dave at Project
60 has a Midway Special coming up.
has a report on Rolling
Thunder in DC, the Worried Shrimp,
a TV report, an update on the Osbournes, Chris Tucker joined
Bono & O'Neill in Uganda!
Plus, Moose & Squirrel, a Big Dog report, Terry Farrell booted
from Becker, a report
on how Pickles Bush embarrassed America by dressing like a homeless
man. I'll bet
Betty Bowers tossed cookies when she saw that picture...
...is Jenna Bush pregnant?
Plus, the end of Hole (say it ain't so!)
I guess Courtney's going to devote all her time and energy into
fighting Dave & bassboy
to stop him from releasing any more of Nirvana's work...
"It's going to take a lot of brains in
Russia to create a drain." -- President Not Elected, making everybody
wince
Polls
& Bookstores
BC,
Okay, 46 per cent of the people believe Bush KNEW
we were going to have a major terrorist attack,
right?
So how does this guy have a 70 0/0 approval rating?
Something DOES NOT ADD UP!!!!
I've been saying for months his people are cookin'
the polls..
if this doesn't prove it, I don't know what does.
BTW, I had a very hard time buying BLINDED BY
THE RIGHT for my Library.
Baker & Taylor, one of the three largest
wholesalers in the country was always
conveniently out of stock when I tried to order
it. Baker &Taylor is part of the
....tah dah...Carlyle Group, (something you might
want to share with your reading public).
I finally found the book at Borders, but I had
to seek it out. It and Michael Moore's book
were not on display with all the other new and
best sellers...they weren't even on the shelves.
They were in the back in a box.
Maybe they'd just been delivered, ( it was Sunday
)
but they sure had O'Reilly's book out front.
Makes ya wonder...
Kate
The holiday issues weren't my best work, but I'm a liberal - I
have an excuse!
I was forced, at marriage-point, to drive the touring sedan to
Texas to visit Lorena's
Bush-loving, conservative, religious family so I had to rush
the issues, so to speak.
The trip was fine, but there was one horrific moment at the dinner
table.
I don't know if you've ever seen "The Boys from Brazil," but
Lorena's brother told us
about a "speader" they put in his twelve-year old daughter's
mouth. It seems X-rays
showed a tooth coming in with nowhere to go, so they installed
this speader to "split"
or "pop" this poor girl's palate.
....Jesus, I'm getting light-headed just typing this.
Dad had some kind of key, and every night, he was supposed to
insert the key
and widen the spreader two notches or rotations. It was so painful,
he had to hold
her down because she was fighting him with all she had to prevent
the pain, but he
was always successful, but he said it was the hardest thing he
ever had to do.
So while she's screaming "Daddy, it hurts
so bad," he held her down and twisted
that key until - one day - her palate popped or split.
<gallump>
...sorry, I fainted
Is this 2002?
I can't believe there isn't a better way to do this.
Have a lot of you been doing home surgery on your kids?
Her palate popped or split, whatever it's called and it widened
her nose and changed her face.
They said 48 hours later that tooth had dropped and now she has
a beautiful smile.
Thank you, God, for making my life childless.
Hell, I can't even give the cat a pill.
Have you checked out the chat yet?
Christian's in there a lot lately, same for Marty from E!
and Michele from BartCook and lots of friendly people.
Subject: Your subscription plan
I hope you rethink this. It would kill all
those who are inclined to drop by
and get a look, and of course, are hooked and
stay the course.
It might also kill me, one of your most dedicated
readers. I have sent in $100 this year
in increments...$25 to Julie, the rest to you,
and that is hard going since my business got
Bush-whacked by the energy scheme (Dec. 2001)
and I have not worked in the time
I have sent you this money. I wonder how
salon.com has fared with their subscription deal.
I know I enjoyed it, but haven't been inspired
to pay the tariff, which is modest.
I don't want to be a piker, and if I hit the lottery,
you are a-ok...
my chances are diminished by the fact I don't
buy tickets.
ha ha
Think about a rolling road show...Juliefest went
great. I bet a "Bart is coming to a neighborhood near you"
would as well. I bet you could plan an
event a month at regional areas and fund the whole deal and show
your supporters a good time as well. Or,
shoot...do a "Join Me in Vegas" one weekend a month...that is
the cheapest destination spot in the country.
Make those Chinaco guys tithe to you....or send product.
I simply think it would kill the site if you made
it a pay per view.
Damn...it sounds so Republican....continue to
beg and grovel like a real Democrat...
Anita
Hmmmm, "Join me
in Vegas?" I like the sound of that.
We are looking at several options, but I can't see shutting off
the page to the broke.
One possibility is to make the current issues subscription only, and
people who
can't afford that can read each issue as it becomes available.
You know, I'm wrong a lot, but I think if/when BartCop
Radio hits,
some people will say, "How did I survive before
BartCop Radio came along?" I don't do impressions or voices or sound effects - none of that usual
radio crap,
but you're only getting about 5 percent of the energy from the written
word.
When I get off on a rant, by the time I get to the computer and start
typing
and formatting and searching for files and fonts and putting the old
issue in
the archives to prepare for the new idea - I've forgotten what it f-ing
was!
If I had an idea at 2:10 and could rant about it at 2:11, that
would be real radio.
Plus, think of all the mistakes I make on this page.
Live, I'd make ten times the mistakes, that'd be fun, right?
Geez, taking phone calls would be a riot all by itself!
Ditto-monkeys ONLY the second hour!
Oh, well, maybe when I turn 60, I'll be able to afford to do
BartCop Radio.
Click to order
Quotes
"We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence
says, that all have got uninalienable
rights, endowed by a Creator." -- President Monkey in a Man Suit
Excerpt: I cannot suppress my revulsion at having
a known deserter who has done
nothing to distinguish himself in his life
appointed as the Commander in
Chief and protector of our Constitution
who will ultimately be a threat to
the document we swore to protect and defend
with our blood.
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Is Dan Quayle
smarter than Usurperboy?
God bless Dan Quayle as the Democrats are forever
grateful for this guy.
This week, he tries to show that he is no lightweight
in a speech about terrorism.
He was quoted as saying, "How many Palestinians
were on those planes that hit
the World Trade Center on September 9th?"
Duh, Dan I think you meant to say September 11th.
No, Dan you're not a lightweight, you're more
of a 'W' weight as in Bush.
The sad truth is that Dan Quayle is smarter that
W. Bush.
When George Herbert Bush picked Dan Quayle as
his running mate,
he did so because Quayle reminded him of his
son George Jr., but a little smarter.
Jim in Rochester, MI
thanks to Wizard of Whimsy
Stay connected with 200 minutes for just $20.82 Check your phone bill - I'll bet you're paying 50 cents a minute.
to start saving money on long distance
BartCop, ...BartCop...
BartCop - come to Vegas...
Another,
slightly different James Woods acoount
Neither the F.B.I. nor America's other intelligence
agencies have effectively addressed what may be the
most important challenge of September 11th: How
does an open society deal with warnings of future
terrorism? The Al Qaeda terrorists were there
to be seen, but there was no system for seeing them.
Several weeks before the attacks, the actor James
Woods was in the first-class section of a
cross-country flight to Los Angeles. Four of
his fellow-passengers were well-dressed men who
appeared to be Middle Eastern and were obviously
travelling together. "I watch people like a
moviemaker," Woods told me. "As in that scene
in 'Annie Hall' "—where Woody Allen and Diane
Keaton are sitting on a bench in Central Park
speculating on the personal lives of passers-by.
"I thought these guys were either terrorists
or F.B.I. guys," Woods went on. "The guys were in
synch—dressed alike. They didn't have a drink
and were not talking to the stewardess. None of them
had a carry-on or a newspaper. Nothing.
"Imagine you're at a live-music event at a small night club
and you're standing behind the singer.
Everybody is clapping, going along, enjoying the show— and
there's four guys paying no attention. What are
they doing here?"
Woods concluded that the men were "casing" the
plane. He said that his concern led him to hang on
to his cutlery after lunch. He shared his worries
with a flight attendant. "I said, 'I think this plane is going
to be hijacked.' I told her, 'I know how serious
it is to say this,' and asked to speak to the captain."
The flight attendant, too, was concerned. The
plane's first officer came over immediately and assured
Woods that he and the captain would keep the
door to the cockpit locked.
The remainder of the trip was bumpy but uneventful,
and Woods recalled laughingly telling his agent,
who asked about the flight, "Aside from the terrorists
and the turbulence, it was fine." Woods said that
the flight attendant told him that she would
file a report about the suspicious passengers. If she did, her
report probably ended up in a regional Federal
Aviation Authority office in Tulsa, or perhaps Dallas,
according to Clark Onstad, the former chief counsel
of the F.A.A., and disappeared in the bureaucracy.
"If you ever walked into one of these offices,
you'd see that they have no secretaries," Onstad told me.
"These guys are buried under a mountain of paper,
and the odds of this"—a report about suspicious
passengers—"coming up to a higher level are very
low."
Hmmm, looks like the Bush boy has been "delegating authority" again.
That way, when things go wrong as they always do under a lazy president,
he can say "other people handle that, not me."
Bush was warned in advance. He took the warning seriously enough to
pull
his own people off commercial aircraft, but didn't bother to alert
the airlines?
He KNEW Al Qaeda was planning a serious hijacking - and soon
- and didn't bother
to tell the flight attendants to report suspicious passengers casing
their planes?
Bush didn't steal the election to help others.
He stole the election to get his hands on Clinton's surplus, and now
it's gone.
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Thunder in DC, the Worried Shrimp,
