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A Slut Named Laura

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Volume 832 - Damage Done! 


Tuesday    July 2, 2002 


"President Bush said if they take out "under God"
  then they have to take out "witches stands."
   -- Leno, with his first good joke in months,

 ...thanks to K Weaver

 US Economy in Death Spiral

Nasdaq, once at 5000, falls to 1403, lowest point in 5 years
Dow down to 9110
Investors dump WorldCom stock at record pace
Construction spending falls unexpectedly
Cities, states facing huge financial pitfalls
Detroit hoping zero financing will spur sluggish sales
SEC tries to fix "crisis in confidence"
Bush says more tax cuts for super-rich will fix everything

  ...and when the Dow falls all the way to 3500,
  we can buy the state of California for next to nothing
  with the money we stole out of the Social Security fund.
  We'll teach them to vote against the Bush Family Evil Empire.

 Ashcroft Aggressively Pursues Death Penalty

  Click  Here

 Since Ashcroft became attorney general, the Justice Department has been
 three times more likely to seek death for black defendants accused of killing whites
 than for blacks alleged to have killed nonwhites."

 Gee, I'm shocked.
 Who knew Ashcroft was a racist?

Everybody did - before the Democrats confirmed him.


"[One nation under God] is an old cockamamie Republican right-wing thing.
 If you're not out there publicly claiming you love God more than everybody,
 everybody else hates God. You know, some people can have religion and
 it could be a private matter."
   -- Carville, last night's Crossfire

 But they don't want to pray privately.
 They want to make a big production out of being seen praying.
 Carville nailed it, as always.
 "I love God more than you, so you're a bad person."

 We can either fight this crap now, before Ashcroft makes it a law,
 or we can fight it after he makes it the law.

 JulieFest2002-DC tape review
   by Mad Dog

  Click  Here

 It will be fun to look at this tape many years down the road.
 Even though I wasn’t there, I will know that my spirit was.
 Seeing Julie Hiatt Steele in her shining moment, seeing some great authors:
 seeing James Carville and Bart, and seeing all my so many of my cyber-buddies
 in one place, all for a good cause, was a great mental and emotional lift.

 George Michael on Dangerous Ground with New Song

  Click  Here

"The cartoon video sees Bush on the White House lawn petting a smiling
 poodle-shaped Blair and also depicts the two leaders dancing the tango,
 Blair in a flowing dress."

 Warning for the laser cat toy

 Several people wrote to say DO NOT shine the laser in your cat's eye.
 Be very careful with it.

Ashcroft, in red, holds prayer rally.

Subject: Maximum Coins

You're ABSOLUTELY RIGHT on betting maximum coins. I was in Laughlin (90 miles
south of Las Vegas) one time and bet 3 pennies (maximum was 18) in a slot and hit a
straight flush (it was a penny poker machine).  I won $70.

If I had put in an extra 15 cents, I would have won $840!!!!!

Then, maybe I could have afforded to go to JulieFest West!
Ah, well, live and learn....

Patricia S

Pat, maybe if you go, you'll win enough to get back home :)
I knew a guy who went to Vegas in a $30K Cadillac and came home in a $80K Greyhound bus!

How about some Enron boxer shorts?

Click to order
They're not cheap,
but they're sexy as hell!

Close up

 JulieFest2002-DC tape review
   by Mad Dog

  Click  Here

 It will be fun to look at this tape many years down the road.
 Even though I wasn’t there, I will know that my spirit was.
 Seeing Julie Hiatt Steele in her shining moment, seeing some great authors:
 seeing James Carville and Bart, and seeing all my so many of my cyber-buddies
 in one place, all for a good cause, was a great mental and emotional lift.

Bart, wise up!

Oral sex is "shamefull, terrible and awful," whereas stealing billions of dollars from the life savings
of thousands of middle-class Texas families in a corporate accounting swindle is "just doing business."


Lou, it's another BartCop error!

 If you haven't seen The Vegas Report lately, you should check it out.
 Well, guys should, I mean, because there's a total Babe-o-Rama going on there.

 It seems some casinoes* are allowing some scandalous girl-girl dancing
 and Dave has done a good deal of gathering evidence to explain the problem.

 The Gaming Control Board is worried that some casino resorts may be getting too risqué
 even for Sin City. The increasing frequency of such incidents has led the Board to send teams
 of control board agents out every night to monitor activities at some of the casino industry's
 hottest nightclubs, in an effort to determine whether public nudity or sexual behavior is being
 tolerated at Las Vegas casinos. .

 ha ha
 And I gotta finance cars for a living?

 Click  Here   then do some scrolling.

 If I'd known Las Vegas allowed this kinda stuff,
 I would've insisted on having JulieFestWest some place pure Salt Lake City!


 Whoops, I was just hit by lightning for lying...

Subject: Correspondent for the All-Star Game

Dear Editor;

I will be attending the 2002 baseball All-Star game at Miller Park in Milwaukee.
Events include the Legends/Futures Softball Game  on Sunday (Ho-Hum!),
the Home Run Derby on Monday and the game itself on Tuesday.

What do you mean "Ho-Hum?"
I'd pay money to see a softball game with Hank Aaron, Stan Musial,
Willie Mays, Tom Seaver, Bob Gibson and............Pete Rose!

I hereby volunteer to be the Bartcop sports correspondent for the game and All-Star weekend.
I am a lifelong Wisconsin resident therefore I can give the inside scoop on brats, beer and Wisconsin babes.
I have no background journalism but am a lifelong competitive athlete and my father was the last basketball
All-American at Univ. of Wisconsin, a two time Big Ten leading scorer and the #2 overall pick in the 1951 NBA draft.
I am a three time National Champion oarsmen at the University of Wisconsin, have pitched two no-hitters and have
a four golf handicap.  I also know how to ask a question and know BS when I see it or hear it.

ha ha
He must be a Democrat.

Please fill me in on how to win the Corvette... if I say "" on national TV is that how I win??
Does ESPN count?  Terry and I go back a ways and have talked personally on the phone.


Gary  R

Gary, a mention on ESPN may not get you a Corvette,
but it will get you 2002 calender personally signed by the awesome Brooke Burke!

                                   click for more Burke

 Commentary on "under god," patriotism and atheism
   by Dr. Bomb

  Click  Here

 Am I the only one who reads that part of the Pledge to be " nation, invisible..." without missing a beat?
 But, aside for historical accuracy on my part, I know the Pledge is bullshit for another reason.

 Updates on Party of the Year at The Rio

Click on the Rio for the JFW Kickoff!

 September 28th - tickets on sale!

Subject: Monkeyette Bonnie

I don't write often, but when I do the thoughts I write are my own.
The first 7/8 of Bonnie's email to you about 9/11, prayer in schools, blah, blah, blah
is from a junk email that has made the internet rounds.

I get caught having to read those things periodically.  My spouse is a pastor, so some people
(unfortunately members of my family included) think that I (and my spouse?) am some right wing wacko.
I guess they don't know me as well as they think I do.  I prefer to be a left wing nutjob, personally
...makes the world a better place in the long run.

Thanks for your site.  Although I disagree with your thoughts on the existence of God,
I am thankful you are out there pounding the hammer.  I would like to help make the hammer bigger,
but I am going to graduate school in the fall to study more about the 'ghost' (a theology degree)
and that is sucking all the funds right now.

Keep Hammerin'

Jeff, I tell myself I'm a man of science and logic.
I'll allow for the possibility that there could be a God, but I see no evidence of it.
On the other hand, no religious person will ever agree there's a chance they're wrong,
which, to me, just proves how blindly they follow what they were taught as children.

Weeks ago, I lost my long-time senior political guru to a wacky, unknown blood clot,
but he said something that will always stay with me. We were having an argument one night,
and I asked him if he was totally and absolutely certain about his last statement .
He replied this way:

He held a pencil out at arm's length and said. "I'm going to let go of this pencil, and when I do,
I strongly suspect it will fall to the floor. But I can't rule out that one-in-a-billion chance it won't."

That's how I feel about God and religion.
If that pencil ever falls up, I might become a believer.

As far as Bonnie, I don't want to "pull a Pigboy," but I suspected it was plaigerized horseshit
when the phrase "and we said OK" kept popping up. I was too rehearsed to be a normal e-mail.


"Remember the good old days, like two years ago, when the U.S.
  used to run a budget surplus of $5.6 trillion? Mr. President and the
  Republican Party, where in the hell did all the money go?"  
      --James Carville, Crossfire, 07/01/02

  It went to the Bush Family Evil Empire and their crooked partners.


 They read it in Birkirkara.
 They read it in San Carlos de Bariloche.
 They read it in Fairplay, Colorado at the Brown Burro Inn.

 JulieFest2002-DC tape review
   by Julie RB

 Click  Here

 Would you rather spend ninety minutes of your LIFE watching the struggle between good and evil?
 The feel-good story of the decade -- hell, one of the greatest feel-good stories since our nation was founded
 -- was captured in James Carville's restaurant, West 24, in Washington, DC, on April 27, 2002.
 The good guys won, due to the courage, the determination and the refusal to quit of a woman who
 looks like she'd blow over in a strong breeze, but has the heart of a lion.

  to Julie Hiatt Steele

Remember this DM from yesterday?

Reader comments on Ann Coulter's "The Clinton Rehab Project, Part 2".

To: Leftists@MWO, The Truth Sure Hurts, Don't It?

Thank You Anne for another brutally honest and factually accurate journalistic masterpiece.
I say, let the Clintonians and the Leftists continue to embarrass themselves with these feeble
attempts at historical Reconstructionism; I'm sure it will provide endless monolog fodder for
Leno and Letterman. I only wish more people could appreciate your writing style.
Hardly a word is wasted as your devilishly sophisticated wit tears out the heart
of the enemy right before their very eyes...


ha ha
He's praising Coulter, the cunning linguist who was FIRED by Luci the Bat's,

...son, for being too wild and too over the top for the right-wing loonies to take seriously!

Department of Terrorist Chatter
   by Steven Sacco

  Click  Here

 Join the BartCop Police Force
  You get to use a real gun and everything.

  Click for Details

 Click to be a Corona  Barney Fife .22 (single-bullet) cop for $10 a month

 Click to be a Chinaco Silver  Andy Sipowitz .38 Special cop for $25 a month.

 Click to be a Chinaco Reposado Dirty Harry .44 Magnum cop for $50 a month

 No plungers allowed on duty.
 Join today!

 The Bush Pardons

   Click  Here

 George Herbert Herbert Bush pardoned bank robbers, gun-runners, embezzlers,
 (but Kneel Bush didn't need a pardon because, since he's a Bush, he wasn't charged)
 tax cheats, campaign cheaters, kickback conspirators (probably BFEE business) narco bandits,
 killers, more tax evaders, mail thieves, Worker's Comp frauds, more gun runners, speed dealers,
 outright traitors, (but Reagan didn't need a pardon because Bush pardoned all his co-conspirators
 to bury the truth) forgers, an AWOL bastard (but not Dubya, because he's royalty - thus never charged)
 another deserter, another bank robber, a customs violator (but not Columba Bush, who is Jeb's wife.
 She's royalty, so she just paid a little fine, no pardon required for her) a heroin dealer, (I am not making this up),
 a pot dealer caught with 10+ pounds, another bank robber, another AWOL guy (Bush seems partial to AWOLs
 and deserters - I wonder why?) a bid-rigger, (obviously another B.F.E.E. contact) another heroin dealer

 plus one guy named Paul Karsten Fauteck, who was convicted of:
1 ) Interstate transportation of stolen motor vehicle,
2) Conspiracy to smuggle alien into United States and attempting to conceal alien,
3) Transporting false securities in interstate commerce,
4) Absent without leave from Army and wrongful disposition of government property
5) Absent without leave

This guy got a Bush pardon?

I guess his family paid the B.F.E.E. a lot of money.

...and, of course, the media looked the other way.
There was no investigation, no outrage, no uproar.

It's OK, it's just business as usual at the Bush Family Evil Empire.

Compare that to the media frenzy when Roger Clinton walked in a hotel lobby
and waved at some guy. The media went ape-shit over "possible selling of pardons,"
but the Bush Family always gets a pass, and nobody can explain why...

 Slot Payout List

 According to this list (from The Vegas Report) these four casinoes*have the tightest slots.
 It's my opinion that the places that aren't doing much business have to loosen their slots.
 Check out the company The Rio is in.
 The Venetian, Bellagio and Mandalay Bay are the most expensive properties in all of Gommorah!

 On the other hand, check out the loosest slot places:

 I hear The Palms is a cool place, (they are the newest in town, so they need business)
 but the "top-paying" properties aren't exactly setting the world on fire.

 Be prepared to rock when we invade Sin City!

 Big Bonus Issue

   Click  Here


"Ronald Reagan and George Bush tripled the amount of debt that this country did.
  Deficit spending is a unique Republican thing, and they ought to be ashamed of
  themselves and these clowns have come in and run through $2 trillion in Social Security
  trust fund and 5.6 trillion in the surplus."
    --James Carville, Crossfire, 07/01/02

 James, why so angry?
 Dubya's a good guy,
 and he's doing a great job.
 Gosh, he's our president!
 You sound like Bart, sometimes...

BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
 BartCop, ...BartCop...

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