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A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
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Volume 847 - Just like his daddy

New -  special rates

 Sun-Mon   July 21, 2002....................................................................................Our search engine is back
 After 3 years,
Yahoo mail says there is no BartCop mail box, so don't send anything there until they
 manage to locate the damn thing.  I guess send everything to except business mail.
 That goes to and lawsuits and complaints go to



 "The stock market is in such bad shape
    it's got nowhere to go but up."
      --Dick Armey, blowing a gasket on "Meet the Whore"

  Have you seen today's Yahoo headlines?

U.S. Mulls Military's Domestic Role
   Tom Ridge says terrorism may force government planners to consider
   using the military for domestic law enforcement, now largely prohibited by federal law.

  This is bad news.
  The B.F.E.E. is going to put tanks in the street to "keep us in line."

  G Gordon Liddy screamed "posse comitatus" at Clinton for nine years, because he said
  using our military against us was something up with which he would not put.

 ...but he doesn't kind if his boy Bush uses the military against us.

Bush withholds $34M earmarked for UN family planning efforts
   Congress passes $34M bill, Unelected signs it, but now says "nevermind."
   The Bush Family Evil Empire has no use for congress. Bush decides what's best for us.

   Can you feel that steel glove tightening around our necks?

 I'm getting away with it!
 The 9-11 plan is working!
 They're all afraid of me!

 Who is stonewalling the anthrax investigation?

  Click  Here

 Top Democratic Party leaders are aware that they were targeted for assassination by
 a former special forces operative with close ties to the military and intelligence apparatus,
 a man whose identity is known but who for some reason cannot be arrested. They are told
 that the FBI is deliberately stalling the probe, while the Bush administration pretends that it
 has no suspects and little information about the attacks. Yet the leaders of the official political
 opposition say nothing publicly about what amounts to an attempted political coup d’état,
 and a compliant media sustains the cover-up.

 I'm so ashamed for our pink tutu Democrats...
 They won't even speak up when their lives are being threatened?

 Bart, stop worrying! Dubya will protect us.
 He's a our friend and more important - he's our president!
 We salute him sharply and you should do the same.

 Evidence Against Suspect From 9/11 Is Called Weak

  Click  Here

 Government officials say they have no direct evidence that Mr. Moussaoui had a role in the hijackings.
 From the beginning the evidence has been circumstantial. Now, some government officials, in interviews,
 are saying that prosecutors overreached when they charged that Mr. Moussaoui was a direct participant
 with Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda in the conspiracy to kill thousands of people on Sept. 11.

 Another mess from Bush the Idiot.
 Why is Moussaoui offering to plead guilty if the government's case is weak?
 They've been calling this guy "the 20th hijacker" for ten months, but he wasn't?

 We get nothing but a yank from this crooked administration.


I hope you had the tape running today because I got on in the last half hour.
I was on Rush's show and got in " I really wish you would stop lying to your ditto monkeys, Pigboy"
before he cut me off. He then called me a long-haired, dope smoking ... You get the picture.
It had  been over a year so I figured pigboy was due a slam. Hope you got it on tape
because even better than my slam was the pigboy's response.

Please don't print my e-mail address as I fear for my life from the dittomonkeys.
Ha, ha.


I got mail saying they heard it, but I didn't find your note till Sunday - sorry.
Sounds like you did good.


 No danger on the Left?

 If you don't think there's any danger of political violence coming from the angry anti-Bush left,
 check out this creepy message-board post on the subject of how to seat Gore (the "duly-elected President")
 in the White House. I'd repeat the money sentence here but I don't want the Secret Service on my case.
. ...Remember, it only takes a few fringe cases.

...P.S.: The place where this is posted seems to be a forum for discussing, which is a site
 associated with Media Whores Online. It doesn't appear to be actually posted on
 That doesn't change the basic point, which is that this is how some of the people who read those sites
 are thinking these days. [How can you be so sure Bartcop is associated with Media Whores?--ed.
 On the Media Whores site it says "In Association With"] 1:45 A.M.

 This stupid and illegal post has been up for 18 days and no moderators noticed?

 I have never even hinted at causing Bush or Cheney physical harm,
 and now Slate is telling thousands that this is what and MWO are about.

 We're going to need some changes on the posting boards...


 "You're like National Geographic.
    I don't understand, ...but I like to learn."
     -- a very tolerant Jon Stewart to Ann Coulter, author of "Slender"

 From: Nick, the  senior foreign correspondent in the UK

 On the US economy, I saw a chart the other day of the exchange rate between the dollar
 and the Euro that makes interesting reading. When it was created in January 1999, one Euro
 was worth $1.14, then thanks to the booming Clinton economy by December 2000 it had fallen
 to be worth about 89 cents. And's gone right back up again to be worth about $1.01
 (and climbing fast). It's good news for me - the falling dollar means that I'm going to get more
 for my money, and the change in the last couple of weeks has effectively paid for my Bartfest tickets!


From: Megan Mac

Why must you be so vulgar and rude to these people.

Is that a question?
If you think I'm vulgar and rude now, you should've seen me in my blue period.

I see that you have opposing views and other thoughts
but why don't you do something productive with them!

I know!
I could start a web site and catalog these wild rants.

Calling Laura a WHORE?!?!? what is that.

Is that a question?
Webster defines whore this way:
1 : a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : PROSTITUTE;
     also : a promiscuous or immoral woman
2 : a male who engages in sexual acts for money
3 : a venal or unscrupulous person

Are you angry with Webster, too?

At least when I began your article I had some respect but as I read further you lost all your credibility.
Because any person with any intelligence can get their message across more fluently and more effectively
without using words such as Pig boy, idiot, and whore.

Laura the Unloved ruins the lives of stupid people for the entertainment of others.
And when I called her on it, you lost respect for me?

All I am saying is that I am glad that you have reduced yourself to "middle school" argument tactics...
Name calling.  Although this is guaranteed in your right to free speech... what has anyone gained
from listening to your ranting????  NOTHING!

Some people laugh when they read a comedy site.
What do you do?

I have learned that Laura is a WHORE, Bush is an idiot and most importantly that you have no decency.
In a nut shell I have learned a whole lot of nothing! You are wasting precious web space that could be
devoted to more productive things!

I know - I'll stop doing this and cure cancer.
Would that make you happy?

As I have stated before I am sure that you have heard all of this before...
and I am also sure that you are enjoying this because you would  not have
written such a horrible argument if you did not want to stir up controversy!

My argument was not "horrible."  It was merely plain-spoken.
Laura Schlessinger is a whore, get used to that fact.
Plus, I'm a busy man, and "prostitute" takes too much time to type.

Good day to you...and keep the vulgarity down. please

Thanks for reading  instead of the more intelligent sites.

 Tiger tanks
  BartCop Hex on his mind all weekend, pals say.

 Tiger Woods' chances of winning golf's Grand Slam evaporated in a shocking collapse
 at the British Open. Woods shot a 10-over 81, his worst round as a professional.

 ha ha


Boy you must have been real pissed at Tiger Woo after hearing his comments
about the membership policies at Augusta.

He was right there in the middle of the hunt for the third leg of his grand slam,
playing golf like nobody else on the planet can do, BUT THEN,

Bartcop lays on an extra heaping of the ole BartCop Hex.

Tiger Woo then goes out and shoots the WORST game of his professional career,
carding an astounding 81, and placing him way in the back of the leader board bus.
(Maybe he noticed Rosa Parks on his way to the back, but it seems doubtful)

Now, seeing that your hexing powers are at a peak (could it be the corn?), may I suggest
you throw a little extra heavy second helping of the BC hex to Messrs Bush and Cheney.

Keep Hammering!

Tom Lynch
AKA "The Cranky Fool"

The last time anyone saw Mr. Perfect, he said,
"It's gone. I'm finished.  I'm going home to put some shorts on and a T-shirt and walk outside."

by Wizard of Whimsy

 The Tipping Point
  Has the US corporate media finally reached it in regard to Bush's crimes?
      by Tamara Baker

  Click  Here

 Krugman brings up the issue of Bush's temerity in assuming the role of corporate ethics lecturer
 -- when in fact Bush's career is based on exactly the same sort of scummy dealings that marred Enron,
 WorldCom and a host of other malefactors of great wealth. Krugman actually named names such as
 "Harken Energy" and "Aloha Petroleum" -- names with which followers of Bush's career are most familiar.

 And to show how pervasive the reek of corruption is in Bush's junta, Krugman even references Dick
 Cheney's CEO stint at Halliburton -- a company which is also under investigation for its conniving,
 and Cheney-approved, accounting strategies.


 Suddenly, the media -- even the broadcast media -- started paying attention.

 Subject: Veterans are angry with Bush

 They don't like the fact that the Bush administration favors deducting disability benefits
 from retirement pay.   Another constituency stabbed in the back by the chimp.


 Reminder: Joe Conason is daily now at

 Glacier Melting in Alaska Increasing
  Glacier Melting in Alaska Is Speeding Up

   Click  Here

 Alaska's major glaciers are eroding so rapidly that researchers estimate they are
 losing 24 cubic miles of ice each year, adding to the steady rise in global sea level.

"From the mid-50s to the mid-90s, the glaciers lost about 13 cubic miles a year," said Anthony
 Arendt, first author of the study. "In the last five years, that rate has almost doubled."

"There's no such thing as global warming!!!
  Report that! Write it down - go ahead...
 The scientists are lying, every one of them!!!
 They hate my polluter buddies, is why.
 They hate them because they drill for oil!
 How do we know there won't be more bigger
 glazer ice-thingys this time next year?"

Let's hear it for Marty at...

She just passed 150K hits!

  Saturday's Capital Gang
   Selected outtakes from the transcript

  Click  Here

 HUNT: Bob, you left "The Wall Street Journal" 40 years ago, so I want to
 say it real slow for you so you understand. The market is collapsing
 because they think it's not on the level.



 SHIELDS: ... a radical idea is to prevent brokerage firms, Bob, from lying to their investors,


 Southwest Airlines just announced $99 fares to Las Vegas
 Go to  - see what kind of deal you can get.

 BartFest2002 - Party of the Year

 Make your own hotel reservations.

 Reminder: Las Vegas is NOT  Dallas, Texas.

 September 28th -  tickets on sale!Now with working link!

People are coming from as far as Europe to attend BartFest.


 Things to do in the Vegas area!

30.  Grand Canyon hummer tours!  (Only in Las Vegas)
       If my driver is a knockout, I want to try one of those.
       Top Ten Area Tours
      Grand Canyon Plane & Land
      Grand Canyon Bus (bus flies at slower speeds)
      Grand Canyon Helicopter
      Hoover Dam Deluxe
      Grand Canyon SUV
      Grand Canyon Combo
      Grand Canyon Hummer (must be 21)
      Deluxe City Tour Red Rock
      Hoover Dam "Personal"  (must be 21)
      Death Valley
31. Helicopter over Vegas at night for $69
           click for details
32. Limo tour of Las Vegas   What a deal!
      For $160, six people ride this limo up & down Las Vegas Blvd for two hours.
      Make them stop!
     And that's not all - shades of Sam Kinison, it includes a full bar!
     That's only $13.50 an hour for six people to enjoy fine cocktails
     while getting a smooth, luxurious tour of the most exciting city in the world!!
     How do they stay in business?

  Click  Here  to see Bart's Twenty Nine things to do in Vegas!

  Click  Here  to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas 

  23 days from today...The Rio wants a large check written.
  The party's on either way, but we have to know how big a room to buy.
  If we only get sixty people, maybe we'll rent ten limos & party on the go!

 By the way, if that Nevada marijuana initiative passes in November
 (less than three ounces would be legal) I'm moving to Las Vegas.

  Click  Here

 Random Thought

 When John Lindh joined tha Taliban weren't they our allies?
 How was he supposed to know bin Laden was planning a sneak attack?

 And if he somehow knew, how would he get word to us?
 Walk to the 7-11 nearest his cave and dial 1-800-collect?

"Hi, Mom, it's me, calling from a cave in Afghanistan.
  get word to the White House that bin Laden, no, it's b-i-n L-a-d-e-n, ...that's right,
  is going to do something with a plane, but I'm not sure where or when."

 Elenore on McLaughlin said that's another reason why this crazy bastard could never
 be allowed to have a public trial, because that would remind voters that the Taliban were
 partners with the B.F.E.E. until the B.F.E.E. got greedy and wanted everything.

 Our friendly government has had to back down on claims that Mohammed Atta met with Iraqi agents,
 they backed off how "airtight" their Moussoui case is, so I'm wondering if Lindh just got sold down the
 river to prop up the Unelected Fraud. Will his lawyers get cushy jobs with the B.F.E.E. by Christmas?


"We’ve thought a lot about questions of freedom in this country, especially now.
  We probably have the most patriotic flag-burning anyone’s seen. We won the freedom
   of speech award last year in New York for that flag trick. Overwhelmingly our sentiment
   is pro-freedom. We are for science, education and freedom. We are against irrational blind faith.
  We are romantically in love with the idea of having a brain."
    -- Penn & Teller (well, Penn, actually) on their Las Vegas show

 ...part of the new stuff on  The Vegas Report

 Join the BartCop Casino Robbing gang
 We're going to make some heavy coin while we're in Las Vegas.
 You want in?

   Click for Details

 Click to join the Corona Arizona Charlies knockoff gang for $10 a month.
 I'll give you the plans, all you gotta do is show up. Score: $800,000

 Click to join the Chinaco Silver  TI/Mirage knockoff gang for $25 a month
 I'll got the plans, you find a kangaroo and a midget. Score: $4-5M

 Click to join the Chinaco Anejo Venetian/Bellagio gang for $100 a month
 I'm going on this job myself - too many variables. Score: $22-26M

 Join now and come home with millions.
 Just tell your friends you won it playing blackjack

 They read it in Toronto, where the school kids translate it for homework.
 They read it in Havana, while smoking Chinaco-quality cigars.
 They read it in Tulsa, where they hope not to get a visit from the Secret Service.

 BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
 BartCop, ...BartCop...

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