Volume 846 -
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Fri-Sat July 19-20, 2002
"What this country needs is another giant
tax curt for the super-rich
so Bush's billionaire buddies can buy
what's left of the stock market."
-- BartCop, in heavy sarcasm mode, after Friday's 404
point Dow drop
But how long before some Scaife-financed idiot says that seriously?
a bad example
So I'm wondering: How can a White House so
obsessed with secrecy
convince corporate America of the merits of full
and timely disclosure?
For instance, President Bush won't authorize
the SEC to release information
about its insider-trading probe into his stock
deals because the matter is "ancient history."
Bush is crooked as hell and everybody knows it,
including the Democrats that are helping him empty the Treasury.
so proud of Mr. Perfect, Tiger Woods
for refusing to help women get in Augusta National.
Tiger says Augusta has a right to pick their member because it's
a private club.
"Augusta National is entitled to set up their
own rules the way they want them.
That's the way they want to set it up. It's
their prerogative to set it up that way.
... It's just the way it is."
a Hypocrite with a Gutless Stance
I have a question:
I wonder what Tiger would say if he sat down in some fancy restaurant
and was told,
"Hey, boy, we don't serve niggers in this restaurant."
I wonder if Tiger would say, "That's the
way they want to set it up.
It's their prerogative to set it up that way. ...
It's just the way it is."
All those millions and he can't give a little back?
Someone said Tiger had over a hundred million so far,
and he can't give a little back to help other minorities?
Admit it - I had this greedy republican bastard pegged years ago.
Just like Rush, he's got his hundred million, so screw everyone behind/beneath
Mr. Perfect was the first ever recipient of The
(The Unelected Fraud and Salon.com are also struggling to
overcome the BartCop Hex.)
Dow falls another 400
The young Bush boy handles the economy just like his daddy.
He's killing the market so the B.F.E.E. and the Carlyle Group
can buy what's left for pennies.
on BartCop MIRC Chat
If it's a crime for Lindh to hang out with the
what about all those folks in Texas the Taliban
talking to before the pipeline deal fell through?
If you've never visited the chat, you ought to give it a try.
You don't have to say anything, you won't be in any spotlight.
After lurking for a while, somebody will say something that needs
a response, and next thing you know you're a regular player in there.
I've been in the chat room 80-100 times, and have never seen it dead.
bartcop.com is global, and even in the middle of the night
there are people chatting.
We have readers in the Europe, Hawaii, Hong Kong, Fiji, Austria etc.
...and they even speak English!
Click Here for
instructions how to get in.
"I would not
my name was
Nevada waste time and money chasing pot smokers?
There are three good reasons for Nevadans to
on Nevada's marijuana initiative on November 5,
1. Arresting adults for marijuana wastes
2. Patients should have access to a safe
3. There should be common-sense restrictions
Plant concert story
Oddly enough, we were at this show, too.
This is the night where "No Jacket Required" was born at the Ambassador
because they wouldn't let Phil Collins (or Ol' Bart) in the fancy bar without
That's story's buried like the Coyote cafe story (which John Mo found - thanks!)
When that story first ran, I heard from lots of people who'd been there,
worked there etc.
I'll buy you a shot of Chinaco in Vegas if you're the
first to find that "No Jacket required" story
Modern digital proctological devices allow
us to go
way beyond simple polyps, nodes and nodules to
the complex inner hard-core workings of the man
pretty rich, Bush
"My friends are crooks. The companies they run look
The regulators I appoint are too soft. My colleagues
in government face lawsuits for fraud.
But I'm going to solve corporate crime with some
Hey, and trust me, I'm the President."
two behind as putter fails him
Hey, Tiger old buddy, what seems to be the problem?
I wonder if he's having trouble concentrating?
Hex on thee!
Hex on thee!
Hex on thee!
Secretly giving our money away to his corporate friends
circumventing Hill on tax breaks
In a series of little-noticed executive orders
intended to ease the tax burden on corporate
America, the Bush administration has implemented
a number of new policies that will provide
corporations with billions of dollars in tax relief without
the consent of Congress.
"That's the hallmark of this administration," said
Sen. Jay Rockefeller (D-W.Va.).
"I really believe this is a corporate administration." "Of
course it's an end-run around Congress."
I used to read your page because I thought you were
funny and it was nice to read the truth for a change.
You even printed letters from Dittoheads, just to let
them get their side in. I just looked at the Forum,
and noticed it's moderated. So then, if you don't
like wht the other side has to say you hide it from your readers?
Dude, I was wrong about you.
You're just as big of an arrogant, close minded,
one-sided prick as Rush.
You're just an anal retentive asshole after all.
Fuck you very much,
Thanks for taking the time to get both sides before making up your mind.
FYI, I print every reasonable derog letter that I see. We tried going unmoderated
on the posting boards,
but the Freepers immediately went into a discussion of Hillary's genitalia
that used the most graphic and
vulgar terms ever spoken by man. Maybe you'd enjoy reading a few hundred
posts like that?
Next time ask a question instead of coming on like a ditto-monkey.
Osbourne Says Cancer Has Spread
"'I've always had a plan that I'd get sick before
she did, that I'd die before she did.
But my plan didn't work out....Life has a way
of kicking you in the nuts..."
Conason is daily now at Salon.com
Subject: Herbert Hoover Didn't Accept
Hoover never accepted responsibility for the great
depression of 1929, much like George W. Bush
doesn't accept responsibility now for our great recession
with all its joblessness, stock market crashes,
corruption, massive budget deficit and failed national
"I didn't do it" is a phrase once made popular by
Bart Simpson, but it seems appropriate now for
Bush and his Administration. Whatever happened to the
phrase "the buck stops here"?
Is this administration responsible for nothing?
Jim in Rochester, MI
Subject: 9th Circuit
There has been much rumbling from the NeoCons (especially
after the "Under God" ruling, a ruling that
I applaud) that the US 9th Circuit is the most reversed
circuit of the US appellate courts. I've always been
somewhat impressed by the 9th Circuit. They have
historically led the way in the advanced thinking of
modern courts. But for those ditto monkeys that
spout that the 9th Circuit is the most reversed court in the
country, they should consider this letter written to,
and published in, the NY Whore Times.
"To the Editor:
Re "Court That Ruled on Pledge Often Runs Afoul of Justices" (front page,
about the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit:
In the calendar year 2001, the Ninth Circuit terminated 10,372 cases, and
was reversed in 14,
with a correction rate of 1.35 per thousand. The Fourth Circuit,
reputedly the most conservative
circuit and the circuit with the second-largest number of cases reviewed by
the Supreme Court,
terminated 5,078 cases and was reversed in 7, making a correction rate of 1.38
JOHN T. NOONAN JR.
U.S. Circuit Judge, 9th Circuit
San Francisco, July 1, 2002"
I've never read a more eloquent "F**k you!" in my
life. If the Dems allow Commander Chimp to restructure
the 9th Circuit to mirror the 4th, the numbers clearly
show that they are intent on reducing the quality of the courts.
know CBS was webcasting nudity, did you?
The girls of Big Brother 3 get naked for kids to watch at home - thanks
Click Here to
see a tame example
Hey, CBS, I enjoy pictures of cute, naked women like all men,
but why would they webcast this stuff so children could see it?
Gee, could it be the money?
'Osbournes' Headed to Canada
The air is about to turn blue in the rec rooms
of Canadian TV viewers as English-language
broadcaster CTV brings "The Osbournes" uncut onto
the conventional TV schedule.
Unlike MTV in the US and MTV Canada, CTV programmers
have decided not to censor
the colorful turns of phrases of Ozzy and his family
in the wildly successful reality-TV series.
Thank Koresh in America we have the religiously insane to protect
from the normal, everyday language that most Americans use.
Subject: Ann Coulter on the Daily
I don't know if you saw it, but John Stewart interviewed
Ann Coulter on Wednesday evening
(rerun early Thursday evening) on the Daily Show. He
managed to be extremely civil, although
the audience was less reserved. At one point, Ann actually
said "all Democrats are evil" or
something to that effect (it may have been corrupt or
bad, instead of evil).
The entire audience started to loudly boo and hiss
at her. She very quickly backtracked and tried
to say that the audience was, of course, an exception.
John kept on coming back to his viewpoint,
which is that he felt that the extremes of "liberalism" vs. "conservatism" were
somewhat passe and
most people didn't think in those terms any more. Ann
immediately, and hypocritically, agreed with him.
Saying something to the effect of "you're right. Definitely
right. It's all of those damn liberals who
keep on going on about the differences between us and
them. And that's why they're evil and
conservatives are good." Hey, Ann. If you agree with
John's point of view so much,
why don't you shut the hell up?
Southwest Airlines just announced $99
fares to Las Vegas
Go to iflyswa.com -
see what kind of deal you can get.
- Party of the Year
Make your own hotel reservations.
Reminder: Las Vegas is NOT Dollywood.
28th - tickets
Update: After seeing The Palms on Las Vegas: High Rises
and High Stakes,
I gave them a call to ask about rooms that historic weekend.
$299 each, even
That's compares to The Rio's All-Suites with glass walls for $169
and $69 on Sunday.
Look at all that money we just saved!
People are coming from as far as Europe to attend BartFest.
Things to do in the Vegas area!
29. Zion and Bryce
Zion National Park might
remind you of Yosemite,
but there's nothing like Bryce
Canyon anywhere on the planet.
Let's start with Zion National Park.
Believe it or not, Zion National Park was
built by dinosaurs millions of years ago.
"Zion" isn't a Jewish word, it's the Anastazi
Indian word for "giant bear."
Dinosaurs had the same buried instincts
as elephants, and they knew when it was their time to die
so they all trekked to Zion Valley and collapsed
on top of each other. Sometimes a dying dino would
collapse on a not-yet dying dino and there'd
be a big, nasty fight. Thousands of dinasaurs died here,
and as time went by, limestone creeped into
the carcuses and pretrified them like the forest,
creating these giant mounds. It's really
a sight to behold.
But that's nothing compared with the secret
story of Bryce Canyon.
Otto Bryce was a civil war soldier who was
caught looting banks. He buried his booty and after he
escaped prison, he went west and used part
of his loot to buy chisels and hammers. His gang of men then
kidnapped 1200 Ute artists and enslaved
them to do his bidding. He forced these 1200 Indians to carve
oddly-shaped spirals into the sandstone
for 12 years.
After twelve years of forced labor, the
Indian artists thought they'd be freed, but Bryce decided
there wasn't enough color so he used the
rest of his booty to buy paint, and forced the Indians
to paint this "Valley of Spirals" for another
6 years. So after eighteen tears, Bryce finally had his
beautifully painted canyon and he freed
the Indians slaves who then founded the Mormon Church.
To this day, these facts are only whispered
because of the taint of the slave labor.
The locals re-named the Valley of Spirals "Bryce
Canyon," so Otto would get all the blame.
But even though it was hand-carved and painted
by local artists, it's an amazing sight to see.
Click Here to
see the first twenty eight things to do in Vegas!
Rio wants a large check written.
The party's on either way, but we have to know how big a room to buy,
so if you're coming talk to us!
"The president spoke as if workaday men and women had
let the bubble go
to their heads like an overdose of champagne and
needed a weekend at
Betty Ford to sober up. He even implied that our
passion for bubbly was
the result of the Clinton era rather than the CEO
era, with its weakness
for stock options and funny math."
"What I'm doing
with your money is none of your business.
Why don't you
go investigate Clinton - like you were told?"
Subject: the pigboy gets slammed
I was on my way back to work from lunch today
and a caller got past the screeners and said:
"You need to stop lying to your ditto monkeys,
It was fucking awesome! Made my day! 3rd hour....about
40 min. in.....
Rush said some bullshit about not calling names
on his show..... just like tits on a boarhog....
Turtle rescue, rehab and rehoming
racist, my knuckle-dragging co-worker, was
and Friday so I had to do his job and mine - not much time for the page.
One crazy Republican can shut down this page - it's not right.
If I was GOP, I'd be rich by now and could publish a full issue every day.
It ain't right.
Subject: Remembering my dear
friend, Jim Hatfield, today
Today marks the first anniversary since Jim Hatfield
I hope each of you remembers him, his wife, Nancy
and their daughter, Haley, tonight.
Jim was a brilliant light with a wonderful and
When political allies begin to fight amongst ourselves,
I hope each one remembers
what this fight cost Jim and his family and re-assess
I miss Jim very much and think of him and his family
"Hi, I'm John
I beat women ...got
The beaten woman needs a pit bull with a law degree.
Subject: I got a tax cut
Both my wife and I got the full 300 smokes each.
We gave it to charity.
Joel, I hate to be the one to tell you, but we all got that $300.
The bad news is - we had to give it back April 15th.
It wasn't a tax cut, it was a loan.
That's my point.
The surplus went to a tax cut that nobody reading this got.
It all went to the oil companies and multi-millionaire friends of President
They read it in Raiatea, French Polynesia, and they live bartcop
chat from there, too.
They read it in Reykjavik, Iceland, where a dude named Thor pretends he's
working at the office.
They read it in Hot Springs, Arkansas at the teacher's retirement home.
BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard
Use the portal below and they'll
throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than
whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous
It had everything.
Copyright © 2002,