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...and it must be ridiculed
 

 
Kiss My Ass
 

Cheney Leaving?
 

Sick Again?
 

Ich bin ein Enroners
 

Nudity on bartcop
 

A Slut Named Laura
 

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

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Volume 713 - Talk of the Town


Valentines Day

...tick tock...


Saturday     Feb. 9, 2002             Send me an Angel                 Recent old stuff              Shopping w/ Bart 
 VCR Alert
- Brooke Burke Wild on Vegas tonight on the E! Channel 

 Quotes

"What elections did you win?
  You've been in this town one year.
  I've been in this town 50 years..."
   -- Robert Byrd, (D-Klansman) screaming at Paul O'Neill (R-Klansman)
 

  I can't decide which Clinton-hater to root against.


 Beware unilateral war without end
     by Helen Thomas

  Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 President Bush used his State of the Union address and some other recent speeches
 to flex the nation's military muscle and threaten several nations, designated as the "axis of evil."

 Rarely has the world heard a more belligerent American president. His tone and substance
 have dismayed our allies as much as the targets he cites -- Iraq, Iran and North Korea.

 Such strident statements from the commander in chief make you wonder. He's riding high
 in public opinion polls and is daring the world: "I can lick anyone on the block."
 

 Helen, better be careful.
 Rove or Hughes might try to kick you down some steps.


From: (withheld)

Subject: Your site

To those who write you to tell you your site is 'lame'--I'd really like if
they would include a link to their daily-updated web page so I could compare.
Maybe they could show someone like myself what a 'good' web site is.

Apparently, I have bad taste because I love your site and think it is creative, honest,
unpretentious and funny-as-hell, and my I.Q. must be well below 64 because as of yet
I've been unable to create a web page of my own (and I've tried) with any abundance
of original material, nevermind something that I could update every day, sometimes a few
times a day.  I don't always agree with your opinions, but I love how you  express them.

Sincerely,
Melinda Floyd

P.S.--Pretzeldent Bunnypants is in town today.  Can't get near him to protest though,
but I am carrying  anti-W propoganda in my car just in case I have the misfortune of
running into his motorcade.  If that fails, there's always my middle finger.
 

ha ha
Thanks, Melinda
If flipping off Usuperboy gets you branded a "terra-ist," have a relative contact me
and we'll try to scrape togther some bail money for you



BartCop in Vegas with Danny Gans
Thanks to Dave, the Vegas Report Editor


 In September, President Bush vowed to bring bin Laden to justice.

  ...but bin Laden remained free.

 In October, President Bush vowed to bring bin Laden to justice.

  ...but bin Laden remained free.

 In November, President Bush vowed to bring bin Laden to justice.

  ...but bin Laden remained free.

 In December, President Bush vowed to bring bin Laden to justice.

  ...but bin Laden remained free.

 In January, President Bush vowed to bring bin Laden to justice.

  ...but bin Laden remained free.

 It's now February, and President Bush vows to bring bin Laden to justice.

  ...but bin Laden remains free.
 

 Bush doesn't want bin Laden caught.
 As long as bin Laden remains free, Bush remains a deity to the ignoratti.
 No Constitution, no Bill of Rights, no privacy laws, no spending limits, no warrants,
 no Fourth Amendment, no restrictions at all for the fraud who failed to win the election.

 Bin Laden is the MVP of the Bush Administration.

 Bush owes everything to bin Laden.
 Everything.

 Bin Laden will not be caught unless Bush is behind in the polls in October of 2004.


 Quotes

 "I don't want to go to work and get into bed with someone else,
   not even Tom Cruise. It's not like I enjoy it."
      -- Cameron Diaz, speaking for everyone


 Gotta check out 

  Go Winter Olympics Crazy with 



  Bush promises broken concerning New York
  Money-Grubbing Games
   by Paul Krugman

  Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 The White House quickly tried to undo the damage. Mr. Daniels retracted his remarks,
 and Mr. Bush reiterated his promise to provide $20 billion just in time to have another
 photo op with New York police officers and firefighters. But the money is still not in the budget.
 And that fact together with the fact that Mr. Daniels's initial remarks surely represented
 his true feelings says volumes about the administration's priorities.


 Dirty Deeds by the WSJ's John Fund

 Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 Morgan was 23 years old the first time then 43 years old Fund, took her to bed. Sounds all too
 familiar doesn't it? According to Morgan, John Fund was the third man she had been intimate with.
 She had contacted him when she moved to the New York area after a bad breakup with her previous
 boyfriend. Instead of receiving consolation from the man who had on occasion been her babysitter
 back in California, Fund took her to bed. In 1999, confronted with an unplanned and apparently
 unwanted pregnancy, Fund abandoned Morgan and without attempting to dissuade her, allowed the
 distraught young women to have an abortion, without any support from him.

 Click  Here  for more on Fund the cradle-robbing scumbag from americanpolitics.com


  + =


 Traficant trial update


 "I'm not crazy.
  ...give me $800."

  Click  Here


From yesterday's issue:

I talked to Julie last night.
I mentioned the second sentence to her and she laughed real big and said,
"Oh, sure, you and Bill Clinton."

ha ha

She has the best sense of humor in the world. Talking to her, even when she's telling some dark
story about her once-peaceful life going straight to hell, she has all these jokes and funny sidebars.
I guess when you've been thru what she's been thru, you either have a great sense of humor
or you don't get out with your sanity intact.

I told her, "How flattering for me, sharing a woman with the president."
She thought that was funny.

BTW, today, Christian is going to see Julie and might even spend the night.

Maybe you didn't know, but Christian was a copy editor for some big shot NY advertising firm,
but her two biggest clients were in the WTC, so she hasn't worked since 9/11.
So for the next few days, she'll be going over Julie's writings - helping her assemble pieces
and lining up the things that are coming soon to  bartcop.com!!

ha ha

Can you imagine going thru what Julie went thru and then trying to write the first chapter of
"How I spent the last four years trying to avoid 40 years in prison?"

Geez, when I get back from a week's vacation I have trouble getting started.
Imagine surviving a four year jihad where the government of the United States
wanted your reputation destroyed and your ass in prison!  Can you imagine that?

Go Julie!

So, for the next few days, Christian won't be helping with the mail because she's busy
helping an important historical figure prepare and organize her revenge ...I mean memoirs.


 A Few Questions for Kenny Boy
   by John Montgomery

  Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 When you finally realized the whole thing was coming unraveled
 and your entire life was about to get flushed down the toilet,
 did your big brass balls shrivel to the size of cherries, peanuts or BB's?


True or False?

Reagan, Nancy Davis.
The eminence grise in the Reagan White House. Used astrology to determine policy decisions.
Slept with Frank Sinatra in the White House itself. Personally pro-choice but kept quiet and
supported anti-choice actions for her husband's career.

Former "Hostess Girl"/prostitute for the studios when they needed to recruit someone;
reported to give the best head in Hollywood, in her day. Was pregnant when she married Ronnie.
Linked with Milton Berle, Yul Brynner, Clark Gable, Peter Lawford, Spencer Tracy, and Mike Wallace.


The stickers have arrived.
PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155


 PoliticalStrikes.com has an excellent (but too large for me) toon up.

 Click  Here

 It's his 600th most-fine toon.


TV Sweep weeks are underway
 That means it's fund-raising time here at  bartcop.com

 We give it away here at  bartcop.com
 We're supported by the Honor System.

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
  PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155


 This is really, really, really good.
 It's funny and deadly.
 If you sometimes skip the columns, don't skip this one.
 

 2001: A Year of W.
    by Barry Crimmins

   Click  Here

  Excerpt:
 On September 12, while people lay trapped and dying under piles of rubble, several administration officials
 spent the morning telling us about the mythical phone threat, along with other prevarications that must have
 taken much of September 11 to prepare.  They also said the assault on the Pentagon was sort of a coincidence
 because the terrorists were really aiming for the White House. They called the Pentagon a "secondary target. "

 Even if the Pentagon had been a terrorist afterthought (and of course it wasn't), why bring it up while people
 were still dead and dying in its wreckage? Because the cheesy people who operate the marionette that occupies
 the Oval Office value political viability over human life, that's why.
 


"I am the Central Scrutinizer!
 This Barry Crimmins character needs to be tortured right away!!
 Put him in Secret Torture Room 6  ...what?    Molly Ivins is in 6?
 Well, then, dammit, turn her loose so we can start torturing Crimmins!

 Remember, no lawyers and no phone calls.
 This Crimmins character is al Qaeda, I can just smell it.
 He might tip off his al Qaeda buddies if he gets his phone call.
 He's a genuine threat to America, so it's Giulinani Time for this one.
 Besides, if BartCop likes him, he's gotta be a subversive.
 We'll round up the radicals and make it safe for real Americans."



 Jeb Bush caught in Drug Cover-Up
  I read about it on Media Whores Online, the web's best media watchdog

  Click  Here

   Excerpt:
 A week before Noelle's recent arrest for prescription fraud, she tried to illegally
 acquire prescription medications THREE more times at THREE different pharmacies.
 But pharmacists were told to keep the police out of it.

 Of course, when Bill Clinton was running for president, the media thought nothing of following up
 stories that appeared in the tabloids, including some far grungier than the Enquirer.

 Will they follow up now?  Will they leave it to the Florida papers,
 much as they've left the huge story of Jeb's connection with Enron?
 

 Of course the press will cover up crimes by the Bush Family Evil Empire.
 Mr. Rove has ordered a total press blackout on all Bush crimes.


 Day 18 of the Shirley Grovelfest

  So far,

     ...have not heard from Shirley.

 Garbage played Tokyo last night and the night before.
 I wish I'd been there.
 Maybe some kid with a mini-disc recorded it?
 

...............
                                 c l i c k                        to                       o r d e r

 I got painfully addicted to beautifulgarbage while brainbaking in Intelligencia.
 Those songs have been skipping in my head for 15 weeks.
 I tried replacing those songs with Garbage 2.0 songs, but noooooooo.
 All that did was add a dozen songs to my torture.
 Won't somebody help me?
 I need a brainwash.

 Shirley - contact  bartcop.com

 PS.   J.T. says "Tell Shirley I love her."


 I had to locate a story in a back issue and I ran into this:
 It's Laura Schlessinger's dating rate card.

 Click  Here


 Quotes

 "They blow themselves up in order to get at us, and we launch
    3 million dollar missiles off of giant floating iron islands 2000 miles away.
   ...who are the real cowards?"
     -- Bill Hicks, who we lost in 1994.


 Check today's
 You gotta read The Great Limp Bizkit Scam,  a great picture of Angie Harmon
 Hillary hanging with the boys, the Keith Moon movie, Muhammed Ali,
 Arianna Huffington, the most upwardly mobile Greek since Icarus,
 plus U2 played the Super Bowl free, John Stossel (R-Rat Bastard)
 the death of Felicity, and another Big Dog report  and tons more
 ...in today's


 Happy Birthday to...

................
     Nick Nolte is 61                 John Lennon (1940)           Amber Valletta is 28

 Also born today: Carole King (1942)  Mia Farrow (1945)


 Last night, I was asked if I ever met Susan McDougal.
 I had the great luck to meet her in 1999 and I wrote about it

 Click  Here


...I'm not nervous, ...not at all.
You can tell when I'm scared - my eye twitches.

The BartCop Hex is no problem for me.


 Let's Roll?
  a very angry rant by BartCop

  Click  Here


 This issue is over.


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 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2002, bartcop.com
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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