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Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Cheney Leaving?

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

Julie's Rebuttal

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Volume 768 - Lick The Pavement


Monday   April 8, 2002           Send Me an Angel             Recent old stuff            Shopping w/ Bart


 "Now that I have legal marijuana, I can walk up to the President
   of the United States and blow smoke right in his monkey face."
    -- Homer Simpson, who got a scrip for legal doobage

Media is selecting sex abuse stories
   by Jay Miller

I'm tired of stories about sexual abuse by Catholic priests. Doesn't sexual misconduct occur in other
religions? Among Protestant clergy? Muslims?  Buddhists? Rabbis?

If the media is going to cover sexual misconduct then it had better start being evenhanded. Every
allegation about Bill Clinton, no matter how spurious, was publicized. Now the same sensationalist
atmosphere is building against priests, almost all of whom are not sex abusers.

I realize child abuse is especially harmful. So why doesn't the media report an allegation that George W.
Bush had sex with a 15-year-old girl and then arrangements were made for her to have an abortion in Texas?
They don't have to report every time Mr. Bush is accused of having an affair. That would take too long
 and be as bad as what was done to Clinton.  But if the media keeps associating the words "pedophile"
 and "priest" then considering the evidence they may want start using the phrase "pedophile president."

There has been an organized effort to undermine certain groups with selective coverage of sexual misconduct.
The targets reveal a conservative Protestant Republican media bias.
The next group targeted by this defamation campaign could be yours.

 Julie's Trial Horoscope
     by Geneva Clark

 One of the most outstanding aspects, in the trial chart, is transiting Mars, gaining adverse strength
 by being in retrograde motion, at 1 Scorpio, on the day of the trial. This is, by the way, the same
 position of transiting Pluto, back in 1984, during the time of Julie's divorce. A strong planet reaching
 this sign and degree will indicate encountering a major crossroads in her life. For her nemesis, Ken Starr,
 transiting Mars was exactly opposing his natal Taurus Moon, bringing him a frustrating situation since the
 nature of a planet in retrograde motion is to deny fulfilment and promise. The opposition between Mars
 and his natal Moon indicates a time of testy emotional confrontations. Since Moon rules women and the
 public, in general, this shows that his action (Mars) would not be received favorably (opposition) by the
 public (Moon), and that one woman (Moon), in particular would thwart his energy and single-minded
 zeal focused towards bringing about the downfall and impeachment of President Clinton.

 Visit Geneva's  higherlevelastrology.com for more, such as Chart for Julie, Chart for Ken Starr,
 Chart for Bill Clinton and a chart for that woman who wore pumps with flowers for the Grand Jury,
 that Willey woman.

Dear Editor:

The parking conditions on main street are just deplorable. Half the meters don't work,
and then you get a ticket for an expired meter. It's almost as bad as when George Bush
had sex with a 15-year-old and then had to pay to get her an abortion.


Outraged Citizen


"The Israelis are becoming increasingly like the white supremacist
  South Africans, viewing the Palestinians as a lower form of life,
  not hesitating to kill a great many of them."
    --  Zbigniew Brzezinski, PBS NewsHour earlier this week

 Did the Government fake the Sept 11 Pentagon attack?

  I had no opinion, then I saw the close-ups of the crash site.

  Click  Here

 Maybe someone could explain?
 From the width of the "crash" how could the wings cause no damage to the walls?

 There are no skid marks (see other photos on that page) so where's the wing damage?
 If the wings hit the Pentagon walls, where'd they go?
 Where are both wings?
 Where is the tail section?

 The plane didn't skrink to fit inside that little hole, did it?

 One more point - that plane had roughly the same amount of fuel as the planes that
 brought down the World Trade Centers. The wings each held thousands of gallons of fuel,
 but where is the damage to the walls those fuel-filled wings slammed into?

 If you didn't check in over the weekend, we had probably the two greatest issues ever.

 Well, that's not entirely true.

 First, I took Saturday off, (my Catholic work ethic) so that issue wasn't very good.
 And the Sunday issue was just so-so, but it had some good cartoons!

 Click  Here

Friday's Crossfire Moment

BOB BARR: Torture is not something that we should fall into. I agree
                        ...that a civilized society should not engage in even moderate use of torture.

BEGALA: Making you even more civilized than Tucker Carlson, which is a low bar I know...

When is heroin-chic nudity acceptable?

 When Kate Moss does it, ...it's bad, it's bad.
 When Calista Flockhart does it,  ...it's bad, it's bad.
 When Lara Flynn Boyle does it,  ...it's bad, it's bad.

But when Lauren Bush does it, it's good, it's good, and glamorous, too
but the Bible-thumpers endorse it because, after all, the Bush family is above criticism.

 Is the man some call "president" guilty
 of having sexual intercouse with a minor child?

 Dear Editors:

 As I was strolling through Whiteman Memorial Park downtown today, I was appalled to see
 the amount of trash that was piled up (evidently blown by the wind)at the base of the iron fence
 surrounding the statue of our Confederate Hero, General Lee Robert Whitehood.

 Like George W. Bush's rape and assault on the 15-year-old girl a few years ago, leading to her
 tearful abortion at the hands of who knows what Tex/Mex coathanger wielder, we need to be
 more  watchful for how things can look when we are not alert to blown garbage.

 Perhaps some of the city fathers could take a look at that area in the  future.


 Madge Mutton

 Does Huey read  bartcop.com?


 ...and they're not even putting up a fight!

  Juliefest Update

 We have more $100 tickets,
 but time is running out.

 If you have paid for a ticket(s) and are not on the list - contact us now.
 We still intend to freeze the guest list on April 13, so contact us NOW if we owe you a ticket.
 To get tickets (hurry) send e-mail to  juliefest2002@yahoo.com

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
  PayPal your $100 per ticket to  bartcop@bartcop.com
  or snail mail checks/MOs (do it soon) to bartcop.com at PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155

  ...you'll never forget meeting Julie Hiatt Steele - slayer of Kenneth Starr.

 Great MOVIE by my good friend Tom Tomorrow

  Click  Here

Mail bag

Dear Editor,

I am writing to praise the President for his push to decrease taxes paid by hard working Americans.
As the President did when he was a younger man, I have impregnated my 15 year old girlfriend and
need to pay for an abortion. That tax cut will sure help me pay for it. Because of it, I won't have to do
what he did and drive across the border for a discount abortion in Mexico. I know my girlfriend will
appreciate having the procedure done in a sterile enviornment with proper anesthetic and instruments.

I know it sounds silly, but I really believe that President Bush and I have a personal connection.
He knows what I'm going through. It's as if this tax cut is just for me, so I can pay for the abortion.
I'm sure Mr. Bush still has the memories of his trip to Mexico, and he doesn't want me to have to go
through the same thing.


Ron Smith
El Paso, TX

Editor's Note: The Bush abortion was actually performed in Twelve Oaks Hospital in Houston,
         now known as the Bayou City Medical Center, not in Mexico - unless the writer is talking
         about a second abortion, this time with a hot little habereno named Loretta.

Bill Clinton has never paid for an abortion.
Bill Clinton has never even been arrested.
Bill Clinton has never driven a car while drunk.
Bill Clinton never crashed his car into the neighbor's trash cars when Marvin Bush was in his car.
Bill Clinton never screamed "mother-effer" at Al Hunt while in a drunken rage.
Bill Clinton never pulled a man's pants down at Yale and branded him.
Bill Clinton has never been arrested for possession of cocaine with intent to distribute.
Bill Clinton doesn't come from a nefarious international crime family.
Bill Clinton's dad never sold weapons to terrorists.
Bill Clinton never went AWOL during wartime.

...but Clinton's a bad, bad man, if you ask a pundit on Scaife's payroll,
which is ninety percent of the prostitutes in Washington DC


 "Arafat received more than 80 percent of a vote in an election overseen by Jimmy Carter.
   Bush received under 50 percent of the popular vote..."
   -- Saleh Abdel-Rahman, 39, from a land where the fella with the most votes wins

 The Past Through Tomorrow
    by D.A. Friedrichs

  The following is a fictitious report to the US Joint
  Chiefs of Staff summarizing the War in Afghanistan.

  Click  Here


  Day Three of Bush engaging the Middle East problem

 Sharon Defies Bush
  US President seen as weak and stupid

  Click  Here

 The Bush boy to Sharon:  Withdraw immediately!

 Sharon to the Bush boy:  Shut up, errand boy - you bother me...

 Sharon knows Bush is just puffing because he didn't say, "So help me, God,"
 like he does he talks about cutting taxes, something that's precious to his heart.

 Besides, war in Israel means oil profits are up, up, up...
 and isn't that why this president was appointed?

 You might check out


 I caught my first St. Louis Cardinals game of the season yesterday.

 It was played at Astro's Stadium, which was formerly Enron Field until Houston
 discovered what a shameful thief the Bush boy's friend "Kennyboy" Lay really was.

 How awful to be associated with that gang of thugs.
 I wonder how many stolen millions made it into the Bush coffers?

 We'll never know, because the Democrats don't have the heart to investigate
 the crimes being committed daily by the Bush Family Evil Empire.

 It's all theirs for the taking.

 Reign of the Macho-Minded Morons
    by Barbara Hartwell

  Click  Here

 Because you see, the MMMs don't like women much, and more importantly, they don't respect them. Their
 misogyny has become so rampant in the Patriot Community that, rather than be grateful for the presence of those
 women who have the courage to stand up for liberty and defend the Constitution, their male egos instead feel
 threatened by such women. Not all MMMs are men.....some are women with low self-esteem who have
 submissively accepted the roles assigned to them by these brain-dead neanderthals. Some, on the other hand, are
 wannabe-males who have simply adopted the macho-moronic attitudes of their male counterparts. But in any
 case, for all practical purposes, they are all morons whose attitudes serve only to downgrade humanity at large.

 Ray Report: A Dull Thud
   by Gene Lyons

  Click  Here

 Of course Starr's also the same guy who also interviewed 381 witnesses trying to turn Hillary Clinton's
 lost-and-found billing records into a crime. Records which, the report shows elsewhere, confirmed her
 previous testimony down to the semi-colon. Writing on the Washington Post website, reporter Susan
 Schmidt highlighted the report's solemn pronouncement that a witness saw Hillary carrying a box
 containing what could have been a rolled-up sheaf of billing records.

 Or a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, a kilo of cocaine smuggled into Mena airport, or the Ark of the Covenant.
 You just never know.

 John Ashcroft will be on Dave's Tuesday show.
 Last week, MTV's The Osbourne's was the fourth most-watched program on cable.
 I saw Sean Connery at Manhattan's Scottish Tartan Day
 They killed Kenny! ...for good.
 No, not Ken Starr or Kennyboy Lay, South Park Kenny.

 How'd I know all that?    I read Marty's E! page Sunday.
 Marty just busted 100,000 hits - hell, it took me three and a half years to do that.

 There's always something good at 

Pet Grooming Tips

Dear Editor,

I'm writing to take exception to Morris Fishbein's Pet Grooming column of April 2nd.
In it Fishbein suggests that an Irish Setter's ears should frequently be "scrubbed clean",
much like the uterine wall of the 15 year old girl impregnated by an unrepentent child rapist
named George W. Bush (and don't even get me started about the xxxxx he calls daughters).

My wife and I have always allowed our Setter "Ginger" to tend to her own ears
and have never had a problem with parasites or canine skin disease.


Barry Mannin,

 A very exciting and talented artist, Santhoshi in Switzerlandi,
 is donating some pieces of her art to be auctioned or raffled off at Juliefest2002.
 Isn't that cool?

 Here are two examples:

(Pictures reduced to take up less bandwidth/traffic whatever.  Yours will be clearer/brighter)

 The pictures that will be for auction and/or as raffle prizes are different and better
 than the samples you see above, and the size of the prints (signed and numbered,
 limited editions of 250, one of the pictures limited edition of 100) is approximately
 11 and a half inches by 16 and a half inches. These prints should be placed behind
 glass,  (but frames are not included) as soon as possible to slow gas-fading over
 the years and direct exposure to air and dust.


 Don't forget to check 


 "Enough is enough"
   -- Governor George W. Bush

 This is a "smart, engaged president" showing his "mastery" of foreign policy?

 "The violence should stop."
  -- Mr. Never Elected

  This is leadership?

Russell writes:

You say the B.F.E.E. told Israel not to sign anything.

Yes, it was in all the papers.

Now while I agree with you that the BFEE meddled in the middle east during the 2000 campaign,
what you're overlooking however is the fact that it was Arafat that turned down a deal.

I don't think "B" means that "A" can't be true.
The B.F.E.E. tried to derail the talks that Arafat walked out on.

It is likely that the B.F.E.E. approached Arafat and made some deal with him to turn down Barak's offer.

Holy Koresh, do you own a history book?
Bush was/is running the CIA.
You don't think he can contact anyone he wants?

If they can get inside Hezzbollah, Islamic Jihad and Hamas,
getting a secret message to Arafat is child's play for The Empire.

It's possible they could have done this through the Saudi's,  bushdaddy's business partners.

Or, just picked up the phone in Crawford and hit "6" on the auto-dialer.

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