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A Slut Named Laura

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Volume 841 - The halls of plenty overrun

click for great toons

 Weekend    July 13-14, 2002 


"Sex, is an uncomfortable topic ...for many people to discuss.
  Even people who are as old as I am still haven't got it all figured out."

  --Bill Clinton speaking to teens at AIDS Conference.

 White House asks congress to shield it from penalties
 for breach of trust and document seatruction

   Click  Here

 In stark contrast to President Bush's urgent call for "corporate responsibility,"
 and to stop the scandals rocking Wall Street, The White House along with Interior
 Secretary and the Attorney General are seeking legislation to obstruct the ability of
 the United States District Court in the landmark Indian trust lawsuit, Cobell v. Norton,
 to uncover the full scope of malfeasance in the government's mismanagement of billions
 of dollars of assets held in trust for 500,000 individual Indian trust beneficiaries.

 White House: Deficit to Hit $165B

  Click  Here

 The White House is projecting that this year's federal deficit will hit $165 billion,
 then gradually improve until a balanced budget reappears in 2005.

 The White House is lying.
 They claiming all will be OK in 2005 because the election is in 2004.
 If they can steal another election, they'll blame the 2005 budget in "evil-doers"
 and they'll just continue to rape the treaury until we're all Enroned.

  "My people ...has richest."

 Final comment:
 So let me get this straight, DimSon missed the deficit projections for this year
 by a country mile but we shouldn't worry because he now has quadrupled his
 earlier prediction of economic growth for next year?
 You could pick a number out of a hat and be just as accurate as this moron!

 Dennis Courtney

  New Feature
 Quotes too stupid to be true
   ...yet they are.

"I'm sorry the room is so small. I suspect we could have
  accommodated a lot more people if we had a bigger room."

 --Dubya, who is right about that larger-rooms accommodating more-people thing,
    Washington, D.C., July 12, 2002

 George Bush has returned America to the debt and depression
 his daddy gave New York's landmark national debt clock
 lit up again July 11 after a two-year hiatus.

 Can America survive the Bush Family Evil Empire stealing this money?

Subject: Supporting the Chimp

I am curious, what would be your position on supporting the Chimp-boy if we had another 9-11 type attack?
You strongly supported the moron right after the attack in the name of national unity and I agreed with you
then and agree with you still.  Now that we know what a opportunistic bastard the shrubbery is,
and he will use any attack as an excuse to help his oil buddies, what should our attitude be if they
take out another big chunk of American real estate along with thousands of American citizens?

I am not bringing this up because I have a strong opinion on this subject,
I am puzzled myself on what I would do.  Just curious.

Bush is using the war as an excuse to steal billions from the treasury.
If we're attacked again, he will say we need to do more and he'll get richer.

Keep in mind - every time we're attacked, the Bush Family gets richer, so expect
more attacks or the threat of more attacks until the Dems get off their knees.

   New Feature - could be a regular...
 Quotes too stupid to be true
   ...yet they are.

"Yet when a company uses deception
  -- deception accounting to hide reality,
      executives should lose all their compensation
  -- all their compensation -- gained by the deceit."

  -- President Swipe, apparently reading from a book Karl Rove had stolen from Daschle's safe
      of what the Democratic nominee'll be saying on Thursday night at their 2004 convention.

Because thatís no way to treat a lady!

Attorney with
Large, sharp, blood-caked teeth to rend and mutilate (in civil court)
one over-inflated Pundit by the name of
John Fund

"The cops arrested me!"

The opportunity of a lifetime has opened up.
This is why you spent all of that time and money going to Law School.

It is like this.  John Fund, Right to Life Pundit, and pontificating oaf, beat up his live-in lover
of three and a half years.  He has also threatened her, blackmailed her and stolen from her.
Now he is facing criminal charges although he is wiggling and squirming
like the worm he is to evade even that justice.

We want to demonstrate that abuse does not pay
by making sure that this really, really hurts him.
We propose to hit him in the most sensitive part of his anatomy, his pocketbook.
So we need you, a civically minded and moral high-ground attorney practicing
in NY to demonstrate your trade by dancing on his over large ego in court.
Pro bono but much appreciated and publicized.
 Call us.
This is going to be a lot of fun.

Subject: We are coming! (Warning to fence-sitters!)


After paying for JulieFest and not being able to make it due to "family" -
we've already blocked out calendars for the end of September for Vegas.

Boy, was I sorry that I didn't make it to JulieFestDC.
What did I end up doing instead, you ask?

My spouse went out of town on a business trip and I ended up home alone
with my teenage son who proceeded to somehow clog up a brand new toilet.
We spent two hours plunging and finally had to call the RotoRooter guy to
come over and charge us $135 for using his $40 tool to snake out our toilet!

See what happens when you put family time ahead of important Bartcop get-togethers??
Let this be a warning to possible fence-sitters on the Vegas Fest!

Will be sending for tickets ASAP!

(Deb the unknown)

Deb, thanks, we're looking forward to it.

"No, ..I'm saying my grandpappy never
worked  for  Hitler.  He always had buffers,
...there was always plenty of buffers..."

 From:  MagMax

 Question: What's a fascist?

 Mag, excellent question, one that should be asked often.
 Webster says, "fascist is a dude who's into fascism."

 So the question becomes "What is fascism?"

 Fascism is a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation
 and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by
 a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition

 Note:  See America after Dec 12, 2000

 Now your next question should be: "Who do the fascists suppress?
 For that answer, turn to your local E.I.B. affiliate.

 Who needs to be suppressed?
 pointy-headed Harvard types,
 Greens, (but the Greens vote against those who are oppressed, hmmmm...)
 poor white trash,
 compromisers, (Koresh, I'd trade ass-lickers for compromisers, anyday)
 Barney Frank,
 Bill Clinton,
 kids afflicted with ADD
 sick people,
 Ted Kennedy,
 papers in the UK,
 Carville & usually Begalla
 the "art and croissant" crowd,
 Julie Hiatt Steele,
 the non-compliant,
 children with AIDS
 San Franciscans,
 yoga dudes,

 Of course, Rush can give you that list a last faster than I can.

 ...Hell, I could've saved time by saying
"everyone but rich, white, tax-cut-needin' Christian, tobacco-whoring, gut totin' men,"

 No thanks necessary...

 Party of the Year

 Dilemma: Should we party or not party?
 I prayed for God to send me a sign.

 The date.was  7-11!!!

God wants us to go to Las Vegas and play craps!
 His will be done!

 So, the party is on.
 If we end up with 30 people ready to party, we'll take over the Pink Taco
 or rent a bus and go to Area 51 or whatever the hell we want to do.
 If 60-more people want to party, we'll need a room, but rooms can be had.
 In Las Vegas, you can do anything if you whip out the plastic.

 The hastily-named BartFest won't have any speeches unless we snag
 some celebrities, which is another reason to move forward. Instead of speeches,
 maybe after a few shots I'll show you some of my high school dance moves.
 It's a secret, but I was black in the seventies and could dance like Hootie.
 Or, maybe American Stranger would perform his hit song "Oil War" at the gig?

 Make your own hotel reservations.

 Reminder: Las Vegas is NOT a Putt-Putt golf course.

 September 28th - tickets on sale!

 Things to do in Vegas

  1. Desert Demonstration Gardens
  2. Red Rock Canyon Vermillion Wonderland
  3. The Grand Canyon  More than a big hole
  4. The Mirage Volcano, Siegfried & Roy and their White Tigers
  5. The Stratosphere Tower and it's mile-high roller coaster
  6. New York, New York  The greatest city in Las Vegas!
  7. The Fremont Experience  brought downtown back to life
  8. Star Trek The Experience, Las Vegas Hilton
  9. Area 51  What the hell did I just see?
10. Mandalay Bay   The Sharks! The Sharks!
11. The lakes and the boating  Ain't nothing like it!
12. The Bellagio   One of the nicest hotels in the world.
13. Hear the Juliefest Soundtrack  The best music ever!
14. The Venetian  "Best hotel in the world" Conde Nast
15. Food & Drink  is off the scale in Las Vegas.
16. Paris in Vegas!  Propose to your girl inside the Eiffel Tower
17. The Strip at Night  only Times Square could come close
18. Hoover Dam  Marty E! says they have the coolest art deco rest rooms!
19. Get married by an Elvis Impersonator!  You know it's going to last if Elvis says so.
20. The Liberace Museum  Hey, go ahead and laugh - I did.
   A good friend sent me this link saying the crowds are so hueueueuge that
   they recently doubled the gate price to keep up with the ever-growing demand.
   Odds are you won't catch me there, and this is more of an exercise in free speech
   than an outright recommendation. But some people really dig the Liberace Museum.
21. Caesars Palace
   Whoa!  This place isn't "like" Caesars Palace - it's the real thing.
   One of the most famous traditions in all of Las Vegas. Some of the greatest fights were held right here,
   the famous Evil Kneivel crash over the fountains, The Caesars Forum Shops are off the scale .
   I think their animitron show has lost a lot, with the Bush Puppet being so much more life-like.
22. Death Valley  If you find beauty in the desert, this is Fort Knox.
  Point your newish rental car northwest of town.
  You'll see ghost towns, brothels, coyotes and sagebrush.
  You'll see miles and miles of what you've never seen before.
  If you have a stressful job, see what it's like to r-e-a-l-l-y get away.

  Click  Here  to see details of the first sixteen suggestions

 Talk to me!

Subject: Bush and Harken

To: The Washington Post

Dear Sirs,

After reading the Washington Post editorial that effectively jumps
I-don't-know-how-many hoops to make the case for leaving Bush alone
for his criminal business past, I'm just boggles the mind.

I realize now the depth of your paper's complicity in propping up this
horrible president.  Sadly, I also realize that anything I or others write
to you in protest will be arrogantly ignored.  It's crystal clear now that
the Washington Post is a corrupt and evil publication.

"Have you no sense of decency, sirs?
At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"

Mike B

 Today in History

 In 1960, John F. Kennedy won the Democratic presidential nomination in Los Angeles.

 ...and the next day the Republican party bought themselves a rifle with a scope.
 After twenty years of FDR and Truman, the GOP had the White House for eight years and
 they didn't like losing it, so they decided to murder the next president of the United States.

 Hey, don't say it didn't happen.

 The Democrats didn't want Kennedy dead.
 The people who don't follow politics didn't want Kennedy dead.
 The Republicans wanted Kennedy dead, just like they wanted RFK and "that nigger King."

 To this day, nobody can say for sure who killed all three, but who had the motive?

 I'll tell you who:
 White-power, religiously-insane gun nuts and tobacco whores who hate free elections,
 which is the same bunch that went after Bill Clinton, the "nigger-loving, faggot-helping liberal,"
 and the same bunch who stole the last election to install George the Puppet against the voters' wishes.

 Click  Here  to read about the Nixon-BFEE connection to JFK's murder

 A newly discovered FBI document reveals that George Bush was directly involved in the JFK's murder.
 The document places Bush working with the now-famous CIA agent, Felix Rodriguez, recruiting right-wing
 Cuban exiles for the invasion of Cuba. It was Bush's CIA job to organize the Cuban community in Miami
 for the invasion. The Cubans were trained as marksmen by the CIA. Bush at that time lived in Texas.
 Hopping from Houston to Miami weekly, Bush spent 1960 and '61 recruiting Cubans in Miami for the invasion.
 That is how he met Felix Rodriguez. You may remember Rodriguez as the Iran-contra CIA agent who
 received the first phone call telling the world the CIA plane flown by Gene Hasenfus had crashed in Nicaragua.
 As soon as Rodriguez heard that the plane crashed, he called his long-time CIA supervisor, George Bush.

 Remember, the Bush Family was helping to arm Hitler in the 40's.
 You think they got a taste of world power and decided "enough was enough?"

 I can't speak for Clinton, but I'm sure he appreciates that the BFEE
 used oral sex in their assassination attempt instead of a rusty rifle.

 They read it in Shijiazhuang.
 They read it in Bucharest.
 They read it in the Tahoe lake house my home...

 Mike, I almost died myself -- we was all so relieved -- my home!

 ...In my bedroom!

 ...were my wife sleeps!

 ...where my children come

 ...and play with their toys. my home...

 Martha Stewart - Doing Time

 Click  Here

 BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
 BartCop, ...BartCop...

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