One nation, under a half-brained fascist... 
POLITICS - HUMOR -
FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE
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Gladshot is a new band from Debbie Andrews and Mike Blaxill,
"literate, finely-wrought 90s power pop"
click
Quotes
"Government isn't the answer - government is
the problem.
If government would just get out of
the way, America's
economic engines would roar to their
full potential."
-- Ronald Reagan, creator of today's Wall Street
problems
That "less government" horseshit was carried on by Newt's gang
of trolls.
They passed legislation that kept federal regulators away from
the books
and looked what happened as a result.
Bush
signs Yucca Mountain radioactive waste bill
Hands Nevada's electoral votes to the Democrats
Three days before the election, Dick the Heartless gave a speech
in Nevada and said
they would NOT put nuke waste here "without
the sound science," to back it up.
Now, twenty months after that broken promise, Ari the Truthless
says,
"After two decades of study..."
they've decided the science is there.
So if this study is 20 years old, why didn't they know about
it 20 months ago?
The answer is very clear.
The Bush boy and his handlers lied to the people of Nevada,
and they knew it was a lied when they told it.
Nevada - never trust the B.F.E.E. - they'll screw you every time.
BTW, Yucca Mountain just had an earthquake...
Subject: It's A Good Thing Bush Took All Those Vacations
Bush took more vacations last year than any other
president in our nation's history.
Everything is so screwed up with terrorist attacks,
stock market crashing, joblessness,
squandered budget surplus, it's a good thing
that he only worked part time.
Yeah George, take off all the time you want.
We'll call you when we need you.
Greg Whitman
GOP Pollsters Warn of Economic News
Corporate wrongdoing and economic jitters
have soured the national mood
noticeably in recent weeks, according to
prominent Republican pollsters who
warn of "GOP turnout problems" in midterm
elections if the trend persists.
"The bottom has fallen out on the mood of the
country," Public Opinion
Strategies cautioned party strategists
in and out of Congress in recent days.
Ann Coulter, it's time to meet the truth police
Excerpt:
"Coulter also has a habit of chastising liberals
for their methodology and then using the same techniques
to make her own points. She argues that
it's wrong for liberals to compare Rush Limbaugh to the major
news organizations because Limbaugh is
"a noted polemicist" engaging in "satirical commentary," yet
when Coulter needs examples to back up
her claims that news organizations target conservatives,
she routinely quotes columnists. Um, aren't
they supposed to have opinions?"
Subject: Tax cuts for the rich
Hey, BC,
Most treasury bills are bought by rich people.
So, if a tax cut for the rich leads to deficit spending,
then the sources of the government's funding
stay unchanged. The only difference is that some of the
rich people's money that used to be taken as
taxes is now borrowed from them instead.
The rest of us (and our children) must eventually
pay back those loans, plus interest, to the rich people.
And, in the meantime, we'll pay higher mortgage
and car payments, because the deficit spending drives up interest rates.
We still haven't come close to paying off the
money we borrowed during the Reagan/Bush years. 15% of the
federal budget still goes to pay the interest
on those loans. 15 percent! That's roughly the same amount we spend
on the Pentagon. And all those billions,
year after year, are a direct transfer of money from your pocket, my pocket,
and the pockets of other decent working people
into the trust funds and yacht club tabs of the idle rich.
Brad
Karl Rove made a rare appearance on The Hill today...
...
Chris the Screamer is in a DC hospital "often delerious" with malaria.
We all wish the best for Chris, and we hope he gets back to
screaming vicious and obscene falsehoods at the Clintons real
soon.
UNDER CLINTON - first budget surplus in
decades, record high productivity,
low inflation, low unemployment, low interest
rates, record small business start ups,
record earnings, record first time home buyers,
record high stock market, more police
on the streets, lowered crime rate, implemented
air strikes against Bin Laden immediately
after the first bombing of the Trade Center,
brought Israelis and Palestinians together for
first time, and could put together complex sentences
without help from an aide.
Oh yea...and got a blow job that got him in trouble.
UNDER BUSH - reintroduced deficit spending,
a terrible economy, a terrible stock market,
rising crime rates, nowhere near getting Bin
Laden after nearly 10 months of military action,
foreign policy disaster in the Mid East, and
a drunk driving, Vietnam dodging, election stealing,
corporate lacky who can't put together a simple
sentence without help from an aide.
Oh yea...and lied about committing illegal insider
trading, yet refuses to have
an independent investigation done to him like
the one done to Clinton.
We love you, Bill Clinton!
We wish we could have had 4 more years!
By NolQBush
Bush’s
Tangled Past Is Relevant Today
by Joe Conason
Excerpt:
Unfortunately, Mr. Bush and his insider-infested
administration meet none of these criteria.
He is a lifelong beneficiary of crony capitalism,
as were his father and grandfather before him.
He has no quarrel with that system and
is blind to its defects. He cannot raise his hand against
what Teddy Roosevelt called the "malefactors
of great wealth," because they’re his backers,
his colleagues, his friends and his family.
I'm listening to Bill O'Reilly on the radio tell a black man he's
lying
about blacks sometimes getting roughed up by the cops.
"Statistics show less than one percent of traffic
stops go bad,"
says the very wealthy and very white O'Reilly.
O'Reilly knows better.
He's just spinning lies for that ditto-monkey dollar.
Subject: The Simpsons edited out specific reference to Bush in rerun
Saw the Simpsons rerun Sunday on Faux;
I believe they changed Homer Simpson's original
line which was something like
"I can blow smoke right in George Bush's monkey
face!"
They changed it to "...the President's monkey
face!"!
What the frokkin frook?
I know you quoted the original line on your site.
Jedgar Oreck.
Hey, are you related to the vacuum Oreck guy?
I need a fan belt for an 1100G hand-held.
I believe it was "blow smoke right in George Bush's stupid monkey face."
I hear the Bush boy cried the first time that ran.
Poor thing - I understand he's very sensitive...
Reminder: Joe Conason is daily now at Salon.com
Quotes
"Will the highways on the Internet become more
few?"
-- thestupidest president in history
I woke up today feeling very strange.
No, it wasn't a hangover.
When you get my age, one can't help but become attuned to one's
body and I knew
something really strange was going on, so I made an appointment
with Dr. Sharrif.
The staffer said it was a slow day and I could come right in.
When I got there, I said,
"Doctor, Doctor. Mister MD.
Can you tell me what's ailing me?"
He did the usual - looked at my throat, took my blood pressure,
listened to my heart.
A nurse took some blood, (it was red) but you can't tell Jack
from looking at it.
When the exam was over, Dr. Sharrif said he couldn't be sure
until the blood work came back,
but his preliminary diagnosis was that I was suffering from Vegas
Fever!!!
ha ha
We watched Inside Caesars Palace and Venice
in Vegas last night.
That'll give anybody Vegas Fever.
Go to http://www.iflyswa.com and book a $95 flight to Vegas.
Last October, Congress passed the USA PATRIOT
Act, that incorporated Ashcroft's recommendations.
In doing so, it nullified large portions
of the Bill of Rights.
A
TELLING EXCEPTION: OFF-SHORE TAX LAW
"Oddly," since the post-9/11 crackdown on civil
liberties began, the Bush Administration has refused
to extend their scrutiny-and-security measures
to one particular area: offshore tax havens that frequently
facilitate the funding of terrorists. Why?
Because they also protect tax evasion and drug-money laundering!
The sacrifices Americans are supposed to
make don't extend to the Administration's and their wealthiest
campaign donor's ability to move large
sums of money around in total secrecy.
More billions for the Bush Family Evil
Empire.
He's a dirty, rotten crook of the highest
order.
Subject: re the letter From: Megan Mac
> "Name calling. Although this is guaranteed in your right to
free speech...
> what has anyone gained from listening to your ranting???? NOTHING!"
BC,
I gain a lot from READING your ranting.
First of all, I gain peace of mind, knowing that there are
other people out there who feel the way I do.
Secondly, more often than not, you use a lot of humor
in your rants which makes me laugh. Laughter
is something that I need and that most people need
right now while we helplessly watch the country
go to hell. So your rants are good for our sanity.
If I want to read some kind of "intellectual"
article where the author dances around the issues and
avoids offending anyone, especially Karl Rove,
I will read the NY Times or Washington Post.
When I want to read articles or "rants" where
someone tells it like it is and helps me feel better
by making me laugh, I go to Bartcop. We
need more sites like Bartcop because the only thing
that can keep us going sometimes is the ability
to laugh, our sense of humor. There are countless
sites that have brilliant articles with nothing
but bad news on them and those are fine, but I love
Bartcop (and RB Ham) because it balances the
bad news with some humor to ease the pain of it all.
So, for that, I am very grateful!
-Maria
This may be our last chance to party as free people.
Southwest Airlines has $95
fares to Las Vegas
I just checked - it's only $95
from K-Drag and it's non-stop.
You can't beat non-stop to Vegas. People on a flight to Las Vegas
are the luckiest peopllllllllllllle ...in the wooooooooorld.
That's my Barbara Streisand impression - bet you didn't know
I could sing!!
Matter of fact, I'm think about entertaining at BartFest
with my show tunes.
Ooooooooooooooklahoma where the people stop at
green lights!
BartFest2002 - Party of the Year
Make your own hotel reservations.
Reminder: Las Vegas is NOT Rush Street in Chicago.
BTW, can I say one thing?
We are in negotiations with the most exciting non-Clinton guest
you could imagine.
If negotiations are successful, ticket prices will be going up.
If they went up in proportion
to the excitement, they'd be $300,
but I wouldn't do that to you. But if you're thinking
about coming, you can save some money by getting in at the low,
low price of just $75.
Remember: The last time I
said this, we ended up with Carville, Conason and Steele,
with a little David Brock thrown in for good measure.
Trust me. Party in Vegas!
September
28th - tickets
on sale!
People are coming from as far as Europe to attend BartFest.
.
33. The South's Finest Chocolate
has agreed to send the best chocolate in the world.
Hell, that's worth a thousand dollars right there.
34. The Pre-Party
This is a
possibility more than an outright offer, but maybe we
tequila
connie, ...connass, ..coonosu, ...maybe the tequila lovers
could band together the night before
the actual Fest at the Pink Taco and sample the extra
fine luxury tequilas Mary has.
Y'know, I wonder if we could rent an expert? Maybe Mary
knows a local tequila lover
who could provide some expert guidance thru the tricky
agave jungle - I'll ask her.
(I should list Mary as an attraction, but that would anger
the feminists, so I won't)
35. Free
liquor from the cute cocktail waitresses
......
Actually, you can lose $50 gambling while waiting for
your free drink, so it's not really
the deal of the century, but when you're busy gambling, it's
always fun to have the scanty
clads ask if you'd like another shot of The Miracle at Canaan,
but have you ever heard
the story of why liquor is free in Las Vegas?
Years ago, the casinos were trying to out-do each other to attract
customers.
One casino went to dollar drinks, so the other casino went to
75 cent drinks,
so the first casino went to 50 cents drinks, so the other casino
said "F-it" and
went to free drinks for anybody gambling and here we are.
Click Here to see Bart's Thirty two things to do in Vegas!
Click
Here to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas 
The
Rio needs a large check.
The party's on either way, but we have to know how big a room
to buy.
If we only get sixty people, maybe we'll rent ten limos &
party on the go!
Quotes
"President Bush, who marked his 18th month
in office this weekend, is off to the worst start
of any president in the last 75 years...With
the plunge in stock prices over the last nine weeks,
the S.& P. 500 has now fallen 36.9
percent since Mr. Bush was sworn in on Jan. 20, 2001.
That is the worst record for any president,
as measured by the S.& P., which dates back to
1927, and is nearly twice as bad as
the first 18 months of Hoover's administration."
Am I in
trouble?
I'm not
a one-termer
like my
loser daddy...
..am I?
Christopher
Reeve IS Superman
by Mo Paul
Note: I knew Mo could draw, didn't know he could write, too...
TooStupidtobePresident.com
click
...and don't be drinking any
milk
Oldie...
If you bought $1000.00 worth of WorldCom stock a year ago, it would
now be worth $4.
If you bought $1000.00 worth of Bud Tallboys, drank all the beer and
traded in the empty
cans to a recycling center, you would have received $106 for
them.
Given Bush's economy, my advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
Subject: Liberal Media
Good to see the media going after Cheney
and Bush
with the same ferocious intensity that
they went after Clinton.
They're not.
Oh, never mind.
Joe F
Just a reminder - entire cable channels came into existence to
chase Clinton's zipper.
MSNBC, CNBC, Fox Whore News and others were formed for the singular
purpose
of lying about Bill Clinton because the right wing was so ravenous
for white trash bullshit.
Nobody ever heard of Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham, Barbara Olson,
Andy Sullivan, Drudge
and a hundred just like them until Bill Clinton came along and
saved us from the Reagan error.
When scumbags like Scaife saw that Clinton was taking the Reagan/Bush
hellhole and changing
it into a great, peaceful nation with a surplus and 22 million
new jobs, they fabricated lies trying
to destroy him and then then installed Chimpy the Wonder Dog
as president against our will.
...and the American whore press helped them every step of the way.
Someone suggested if I calmly and respectfully plant the seed
in the reader's mind
that a few quid each month towards making the hammer higher might
eventually pay off.
Somehow, bartcop.com has become more than a
tequila treehouse.
People are meeting here and a convergence of non-ditto ideas
has happened.
If you enter the MIRC
Chat, almost any time of the day or night, you'll find real people
there.
If you post an idea on The
BartCop Forum, thousands of like-minded people might see
it.
If your letter or your cartoon gets posted on this page,
dozens
might see it.
How much do give, you ask?
The $17
figure was suggested as a reasonable monthly amount.
That's 54 cents a day.
Is bartcop.com worth 54 cents a day?
Click to subscribe for $17
a month.
From Rush's web site...
When you click, you should be taken to a site that says,
"The Unelected Moron is trashing the economy
so his billionaire friends can buy
it for a song,"
...which actually is a pretty good reason to buy gold.
They read it in Berlin.
They read it in Namyangjoo
They read it in Castle Creek, New York after the Little League
game is over.
...bartcop.com
Quotes
"I don't care what anybody says.
I think Bill Clinton and I did a damn
good job."
-- Al Gore, twenty three months late.
Shopping
online?
Use the portal below
and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing
more than whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright
© 2002, bartcop.com
shrl
star of the BartFest soundtrack