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Volume 858 - Oasis of Dreams 


 Weekend   August 3-4, 2002.................................................................................. 
 REMINDER - bartcop@yahoo.com is dead.  Yahoo denies it ever existed. There are so many people from
 whom I haven't heard in a while, I figure they're sending stuff to the old mailbox and it's not getting read.
 I'll bet there are letters in that box that say, "Why aren't you answering my e-mail?"


"Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in time of trial
  and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can't be.
  And we are blessed. So don't feel sorry for - Don't cry for me, Argentina.
     -- President Extra-Stupid's Daddy

 Officials deny bin Laden slipped thru their fingers

  Click  Here

 The soldier said bin Ladenís captured cook had told American military officials bin Ladenís exact location.
 But a Special Forces team captain on the ground would not give approval to go after bin Laden because
 there was no specific mission order to do so, the soldier said.

 While the Army was deciding what to do, Special Forces soldiers saw two Russian-made helicopters fly
 into the area where bin Laden was believed to be, load up passengers and fly toward Pakistan.

 "I said, ĎThere he goes,' " the soldier said.

 Did Bush have Putin's choppers fly in there and rescue his old partner?
 If we capture/kill bin Laden, some people will say the war on terror is over,
 and then Bush might have to explain some things that he needs to keep secret.

 Federal Judge says "Enough"
 Orders Detainee Names Released
 Bush/Ashcroft told "there is a Constitution" after all

  Click  Here

 The government must reveal the names of those held in the 9-11 investigation, a federal judge
 ruled Friday,  rejecting claims terrorists could use the information to plot new crimes.

 The Justice Department has not justified a blanket policy of secrecy about more than 1,000 people picked up
 since 9-11, U.S. District Judge Gladys Kessler ruled. She gave the government 15 days to provide the names..

 Now that someone has told the B.F.E.E. "No," I assume the judge is a Republican.
 No Democrat would have to courage to stop these madmen.

 Another FBI Agent Blows the Whistle
 New evidence that the Bureau quashed another terror probe before 9/11

  Click  Here

 Wright said that FBI bureaucrats "intentionally and repeatedly thwarted his attempts
 to launch a more comprehensive investigation to identify and neutralize terrorists."
 And that "FBI management failed to take seriously the threat of terrorism in the U.S."

 Wright was careful not to illegally disclose any confidential details about what he knew,
 but tears filled his eyes as he apologized to the families of September 11 victims for the
 Bureau's mistakes leading up to 9/11. He also made a tantalizing reference to his removal
 from a money-laundering case that, he implied, had a direct connection to investigations into terrorism.

 Sounds to me like Louis Freeh has some explaining to do.
 He always hated Clinton, and Bush loves his crooked ass, so I'm suspicious.

 Gore's Op-Ed Blasts Bush's Broken
 Promises and Mis-Used Power

   Click  Here

 The economic debate, now as then, is  fundamentally about principle.
 The problem is not that Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney  picked the wrong advisors
 or misunderstood the technical arguments, but that their economic purpose was
 and is ideological: to provide $1.6 trillion dollars in tax giveaways for the few,
 while pretending that they were for the many, and manipulating the numbers
 to make it appear  that the budget surplus would be preserved.
 It was pre-Enron political accounting.

 For them, incredibly, it is also post-Enron accounting. And the result is
 the replacement in one year of a surplus with another massive deficit.

 There are a lot of questions I'd like to ask President Usurper, but it would only work if
 we were on a live camera and he was made to answer under oath before leaving the room.
 Here's a couple that I'd like to ask him:

 1. Has Osama bin Laden ever been in the United States?
 2. Have you or anyone in your immediate family ever met Osama bin Laden?

 What Have You Ever Done?
        by Rude Rich

  Click  Here

 Yesterday I was bored about 12:20 in the PM and I tuned in your pal Pigboy.
 He was in the middle of crying that the Today Show had devoted a whole show
 to Bruce Springsteen instead of him. He was asking who cared what Springsteen
 had to say about the war effort or anything else for that matter.
 I wanted to call in with these questions...

 Rush...what did you do in the wake of 9/11?
 Did you appear at any charity concerts for the victims?

 No, you went on the air and complained about your taxes.
 You spent your time complaining about your pocketbook, as usual.

Subject: John Stossel

Dear ABC--

As usual, John Stossel should be stopped before he lies again.
If Mr. Stossel works for ABC News, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

If he works for the Entertainment/Fantasy Land division of ABC, that is more appropriate,
and I hope the necessary and proper warnings about the "quality"  of his work in the past will be featured.
Stossel is a serial prevaricator and  ought to be labeled as such.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.
If you continue to employ Mr. Stossel and his ilk,
it is no wonder no one watches ABC.

Michael Baxter

 They're back!

  bartcop.com stickers

 Free to every subscriber!
 Just send me your address and I'll ship right away.

 For non-subscribers, they're Free with any donation.

 Special Bonus: Free ticket to BartFest for whoever sends in
 a photo of the best-placed  bartcop.com  sticker.  (vandalism doesn't count)

Subject: Bartfest 2003 Ely?

I'm a longtime reader. . . . GREAT work.

Woo Hoo!!
My family just got back from a week at Northernair Lodge in Ely.  It was terrific!


Grant and Cathy are wonderful hosts (did you know that Grant is the former drummer for xxxx xxxxxxx?)

We got the Bartcop discount on a fantastic cabin and received daily Bartcop updates.
It would be a great place to have "BartFest North 2003".

Keep growing the hammer higher.

Ken, that's great news!
I can't wait to visit them.

If BartFest in Vegas makes it into the black, I'd enjoy a BartFest North.

Subject: Its the Gore-Bush-Horton Presidency

You wrote:

> "Well, since Bush beat Dukakis in 1988 by using the mantra "Willie Horton will rape your daughter,"
>  that'd make the elected Bush presidency the Bush-Horton presidency, right?"


You got this one wrong. The way that Willie Horton entered the 1988  election
was through Al Gore's use of Willie Horton during the Democratic primaries.
Rep. McKinney refered to him as "Low Negro Tolerance" Gore her web site in 2000.

Dukakis didn't lose because of Horton, he lost because he wouldn't kill his wife's
Bernard Shaw created rapist and he looked really stupid in an Army Tank.

Lets hope and pray that its a Clinton and not Gore in 2004.  We don't need that idiot bigot
screwing up another election for us. His dad was evil enough, we don't need his son...


Robert, I have made no error.
It would be unenforceable, but when someone tells me I'm wrong,
 they should have to send their age, because I was there, I know what I saw
and I remember it so well, I can still see Horton's face.

The question isn't "How did Horton enter the campaign?"
Legend has it (this is the story the truth-molesting Pigboy tells) that Gore
brought up Horton or the furlough issue - but that's a legitimate issue.

But what the Bush campaign did was race-baiting at its maximum.

They put a close-up of Horton's very scary face on their TV ads.
I don't even think his whole face fit on the TV - it was that large,
and super-imposed on his face was a revolving jail door.
The implication was obvious - if Dukakis wins, Willie Horton,
a "dangerous rape-all-your-white-women nigger" is coming to your home.

That Bush ad ran again and again and again and again and again.
To vote for Dukakis meant you wanted your wife and daughter to be raped by this man,
and did we mention that the scary rapist was a black man?

Again and again and again and again and again and again they ran that ad of
Willey Horton looking into your living room with lust and terror on his face.
And America, being a racist country, wanted to protect their women from Horton,
while Dukakis was as clueless as Gore at how to fight back.


 I haven't kept up with the Torricelli saga.
 They say he took bribes from a Chinese businessman.

 Is that a crime?

 Let's talk tobacco for a second: When a longterm smoker with lung cancer
 sues BIG tobacco, Rush and every loudmouth GOP type jumps up and says,
 "Everyone in America knows that cigarettes cause cancer - he shouldn't get a dime."

 OK, fair enough, but why isn't it a crime to receive money from BIG tobacco to promote their
 death-causing products, especially when they are targetting kids?  Smokers are already addicted
 - BIG tobacco needs fresh faces to stay in business, they need America's children.

 Like I said, I don't know anything about Torricelli, but I know right after Gore won the last election,
 Torricelli was loudly and publically calling for him to give concede the White House so he's a traitor in my book.

"I am a traitor."

 I wouldn't mind if he went right to f-ing jail. (If he was replaced by a Democratic non-traitor.)

 But could somebody explain to me why it's OK for the GOP to take tens of millions from
 BIG tobacco, when Rush admits tobacco kills, if it's illegal to bribe a lawmaker?

Subject: Tell the truth


What is with you and all those lies in your daily column?
Don't you think people who look in see that you make up things?
You could not prove any of the allegations against GW Bush, for example.
Not one!

I, personally, have no budget or resources, so definitive proof is unlikely to come from me,
but if Bush is innocent, what's he hiding? Why can't he release all those secret papers?

It looks like you could be a closet-racist with your bigoted comments about Tiger Woods,
Clarence Thomas and Uncle O. J. Watts.

Webster's defines bigot this way:
a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices,
an adverse opinion without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge is gained

I wasn't intolerant of those sell-out Uncle Toms until after I got just grounds and sufficient knowledge.
That means you're wrong.

Have you been a member of the Democrat supported Ku Klux Klan?
Do you go to Klavens?

ha ha

You mean the Post Office?
Yeah, I went there a lot when I was mailing those Juliefest videos.

Even though I was a Democrat not all that long ago, I can not abide what the current batch of socialists are up to.
Senator Wellstone, D-MN, would like to make Minnesota a "Workers Paradise."

Let me guess: You want to make Minnesota a "Workers' Hell?"  Bush can help you with that.

A sad state of affairs for the decent Democrats left.

What is?
We won the last three popular votes.
What's so sad about that?
You should be asking yourself why you can't win a non-rigged election...

Hillary Clinton spent time in a Maoist law firm in San Francisco.

ha ha
Could you write a column about that?
I'll print it.

Any wonder where all that Chinese campaign fund money came from?

Offhand, I'd guess Chinese money comes from China.
How'd I do?

Not for people who know what is really going on in politics.
That does not include you.

Norm Coleman

Norm, do you think you're smart enough to run for the Senate?
You seem like you might be too stupid for the Senate...

Wait, that's not right, Inhofe's in the Senate...

from Volume 52 - 1996 GOP Convention SPECIAL

Great Dole Quotes

"The root cause of crime is ...... CRIMINALS!!!"
    --Bob Dole

 Oh, Jesus!
 Who wrote that, Quayle?
 Make him stop!

 What's next?
 The root cause of burns is heat?

"All things don't flow from wealth or poverty."


"I was bred to defend a standard."


"I'm for a cooler summer, and a warmer winter!"

 ha ha

 Make him stop, please!
 I can't stand it!
 My sides are killing me!

 Bob, is this one of those "I know the way" deals?

"I'm going to abolish the IRS."

...and replace it with what?
 The Honor System?

"I don't need the presidency to retain my soul."

 Good thing, Bob.

"I will betray nothing!!"

 How about the English Language, Bob?
 You've been pretty disloyal there.

"The last time I was in Chicago, I saw a ten year old boy.
   I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up.
  You know what he said?"

"He said 'a supply-side whore,' the little bastard."

 Thanks to Poltargyst for the Flashback suggestion

 Julie Hiatt Steele Update

 Good news and bad news about Julie.
 The bad news is she has a broken arm that happened during a moving accident.

 The good news is - The Carolina Cavalry has come to her rescue!
 Wallace, Julia, Brooke, Bob, Bill and Michele got Julie moved to her new home in Carolina.

 Shots of Chinaco all around.

 Here's the latest picture:

      You might recognize Wallace (peace sign) from the JulieFest tape.

 Thanks to The Carolina Cavalry, Julie is in her new home.

Subject: Bush and the VA


Wait a minute! You said that Bush "directed" the VA to stop helping vets.
The article didn't say that at all. A bureuacratic minion is the one responsible
for the memo saying the VA should stop recruiting vets for treatment.

Also, the next to the last paragraph stated that Bush was asking for
a 1.5 Billion increase in VA funding, a record increase.

As a VA client I've never had a problem with receiving the care I've needed.

Robert P. Adams
Battle Creek, MI

Robert, glad you're having no trouble getting what's yours.

If that "bureuacratic minion" still has his job, I say it's safe to assume he's making policy
at the behest of his superiors. Bush has a motive to deny or limit health care benefits to veterans.
Health care is expensive and he turned those big Clinton surpluses into big Bush deficits.
That "bureuacratic minion" has no motive to screw veterans - Bush does.

Lastly, two summers ago, Bush told the military "Help is on the way."
Now, twenty months into office, he begins to ask for a raise? I'll bet he
tacks it on another billion dollar money rake for the Halliburton company.

Subject: Website down?

Bart, I can't get into Friday's edition of the site; I had it for one visit,
but both before and since I've been getting Thursday's edition.

Hope this can be fixed by your ISP or the talented and dedicated Christian.

Tom Barclay

Tom, thanks, but I think the page is OK.
There's a "clearing your cache" trick that haleps.
Also, a trick I learned from Christian:
When I post a new issue, within an hour it's also listed as a "back" issue.

Next time it's not loading, go to the back issues and click the top link.
Lemme know, cause others have this symptom, too.

 BTW, if you want to get some Vegas Fever working,
 rent Ocean's Eleven with Clooney, Pitt, Roberts, Damon, Garcia etc.

 BTW, we're not using their plan when we pop the three casinoes*
 but we are using two elements from the movie.

 You can not afford to be in any American city besides Las Vegas on September 28th.

 Remember: Joe Conason's Journal is daily at Salon.com


 Know of any good bits or issues that need a repeat?

 Sick wife sends Ozzy Osbourne back to the road

 Ozzy Osbourne has cancelled plans to take a three-week break from the road while
 his wife receives treatment for colon cancer, the couple's publicist said on Thursday.

"After attending Sharon's first chemotherapy treatment, he nearly passed out and had to
 be taken to a recovery room," the publicist said. "Sharon now realizes that Ozzy is
 better off on the road so she's shipped him back out to finish OZZfest."

 BartFest2002 - Party of the Year

 Make your own hotel reservations.

 Big News: Nothing yet, but that could change any moment.
 Y'know, in a way, it's kind of exciting - the danger behind the BartFest.

We have rolled the dice!

 ...we are now officially out on a limb...isn't this exciting?
 (Oh, God, please don't let me lose my ass on this!)

 What I call "The oddity" continues.

 The last four sign ups for BartFest in Vegas were from Fulton, Missouri,
 St. Paul, Minnesota , Wooster, Ohio and Chilhowie, Virginia.

 Don't you California people know how to party?

 Do the Easterners and the Midwesterners have to show you how it's done?
 Remember, this is an oddity, not a complaint, but the room is filling up with
 Democratic party people who are traveling from over a thousand miles away.

 Oh well, I guess you "We don't know how to party" California people
 can always buy the BartFest Vegas video and see what you missed  :)

 11 days from today...The Rio will ask "Bart, you in or out?"

 ...we are now officially out on a limb, ...isn't it exciting?

 September 28th -  tickets on sale!

              Las Vegas - where you can do things you probably wouldn't do at home.

 That "History of Las Vegas" that was on The History Channel a few nights ago?
 They said Ronald Reagan only had one nightclub act his whole career.
 He opened in Vegas, swear to Koresh, with a troop of monkeys.

  ha ha

 The monkeys weren't trained very well and all they did was sit around and throw stuff.
 Reagan knew he was such a loser that all he could do was work with monkeys
 so he went on to be the idiot figurehead of the Grand Old Party of ditto-monkeys.

 Click  Here  to see Bart's 40 (so far) things to do in Vegas.

 Click  Here  to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas

 Talk to me!

 There's no reason to support  bartcop.com
 After all, we're in good hands with those fighting Democrats!

 Uh, ...the Democrats are fighting for us, aren't they?

 But Bart, ...we're doves, and fighting is bad!

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 We've got to build a bigger hammer.

  Click  Here  to donate large.

 Trust me - we're on our own.
 The Democrats wouldn't get out of their own vomit to oppose Bush

 They read it in Antwerp, Belgium
 They read it in Mount Edgecombe, South Africa.
 They read it in Cary, Carolina, as they soothe their sore muscles.


BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
BartCop, ...BartCop...
 BartCop, ...BartCop...come to Vegas...

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