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Volume 857 - I wish I was in Ely 

The high in Ely today is 71 degrees.
In K-Drag, the heat index is 108.

 Friday   August 2, 2002.................................................................................. 
 REMINDER - bartcop@yahoo.com is dead.  Yahoo denies it ever existed. There are so many people, like my
 good friend Bruce Yurgil who I haven't heard from in a while, I figure they're sending stuff to the old mailbox and it's
 not getting read.  I'll bet there are letters in that box that say, "Why aren't you answering your mail?"


"The Democrats' political motives hardly need illumination, but only a moron
  suspects Mr. Bush or Mr. Cheney went to the trouble to become president
  and vice president to throw bones to business cronies"
       -- The Whore Street Journal, thanks to Lou

  Oh, please!!

 Cheney had five heart attacks and 30 million dollars in the summer of 1992.
 What kind of greedy bastard takes an 80-hour-a-week, super-stressful job under those conditions?

 I'll tell you - the kind where $30M isn't enough - a Republican.

 Crooked judge protects crooked Ken Starr

  Click  Here

 While Starr was the independent counsel investigating Clinton in Whitewater,
 Francis Mandanici, a Connecticut lawyer, alleged numerous ethical violations by Starr
 and asked for an investigation. Nangle not only denied Mandanici's petition in 2000,
 he derided Mandanici and threatened disciplinary action against him.
 That order was made public. It was not made public that six federal judges in Little Rock
 also had petitioned for an investigation of Starr, and that Nangle had denied that petition too.
 Nangle ordered that the matter be kept "under seal."

 Crooked judge - there's no other possibility.
  If a rumor makes Clinton look bad, they reveal it.
 And if the cold, hard facts make Ken Starr look bad, the crooked judge orders it sealed.

 ...and the Democrats are willing to take it, ...and more if needed.

 Did  bartcop.com  shame the F.B.I., the Injustice Dept, and
 Field Marshall Ashcroft and the B.F.E.E into investigating Steven J. Hatfill?
 Anthrax Clues Sought at Apartment

  Click  Here

 After repeated attempts to get the None-of-Your-Business Injustice Department
 to look into Steven J Hatfill, they have finally been shamed into doing their damn jobs.

 Ashcroft's FBI has refused again and again to arrest or seriously investigate the most
 obvious suspect in the anthrax attacks last fall, Hatfill, which killed five people.

 Were they hoping more prominent Democrats would be attacked?
 Is that why Field Marshall Ashcroft has been dragging his feet?
 Does Hatfill know secrets that could be harmful to the BFEE?
 How did Dim Son and Whistle Dick know to eat CIPRO on September 11th?
 There was no anthrax associated with the hijackings, but Smirk n' Dick knew!

 Larry Klayman (best guy on our team) filed a suit to get some answers, but
 Whistle Dick has been hiding in a submarine ever since - to avoid answering.

 What are Bush and Cheney hiding?

 Too bad Monica's panties aren't involved,
 because then we'd have a right to some answers


Subject: Question about laura/fiance

just wondering what the info is regarding laura bush and killing her fiance.  haven't heard it.

i think your site is incredible, although my wife gets a little concerned when she hears cries, shrieks, and
wails of dispair/rage coming from the study.  inevitably she follows with a comment to the effect of...
"dude, it's getting to the point where it's not even healthy!"

keep up the great work, and don't let the ashcrofts bite.


Allen, true story, she's talked about it in interviews..
Laura crashed her heep into her then-fiance's car, killing him.
She didn't even get a ticket.

I doubt it was murder, but THINK of the shit they'd say about Hillary if
she had the same kind of accident.  Fox News would double their staff overnight.


 Hillary Clinton's successful appearance at the DLC meeting in Manhattan on Monday
 (which got grudging nods even from journalists who despise her) has riled up her enemies on
 the far right. They should be thrilled: Whenever her profile rises, separating Republican rubes
 from their direct-mail contributions becomes exponentially easier.
   -- Smoking Joe Conason

 It makes me cry when I think about the money I could make on the other side.
 If I produced a "Hillary wants to sodomize your kids" website, I'd be so rich.
 If I told stupid, impossible lies about Hillary, I'd have a show on Fox News.
 I'd be on the radio right after (or maybe before) Drudge and my books would all be
 instant best sellers because Scaife would buy 10,000 at a time to handjob the rankings.

 But noooooooooooo.
 I got this stupid truth gene running in my veins, so I'm working a dumb-ass day job,
 trying to stay afloat long enough for the American public to wake the hell up.

Subject: Seems strange

BC - The guy who sold the fake passports to the terrorists, after 10 months, manages to flee
the country hours before he was to be arrested. I'm glad our pal Ashcroft was on the case.


Yeah, Asscrack was busy chasing some lukemia victim for smoking a joint.
Remember how many THOUSANDS of times the right-wing liars said Clinton
didn't want to catch bin Laden? Here we are, almost a year after the most retaliable
attack in modern history and the inept bunglers can't (or won't) catch their old partner.
He's bungled the war, bungled the economy, bungled everything he's touched.

Yet the people STILL give him high marks for the "great job."

 How's Pretzelboy doing?

  Click  Here  to take the MCNBC poll

 Results so far:

 Are you confident in Smirk's stock market?
 No 77 percent
 Should you put Social Sec funds in Smirk's stock market?
 No 59 percent
 Does Dim Son have Clue #1 about solving the corporate scandals?
 No 75 percent

 It's your duty to vote.
(At least this vote will be counted)

 20 things we've learned nearly a year after 9/11

   Click  Here

"11. We've learned that the HardRight of the Republican Party has taken control -- of the House leadership,
 of the Supreme Court, of the White House, of much of the conglomerate-owned media -- and has demonstrated
 its willingness to do nearly anything to maintain that power. (Only the courageous defection of Sen. Jim Jeffords
 from GOP ranks is standing in the way of HardRight total control of all three branches of government.)
 More and more truly objectionable HardRight judges are being nominated by Bush in an effort to stack the judiciary
 for decades to come. This by a man who lost the election by more than half-a-million votes, coming into his White
 House residency, with no popular mandate, only because his supporters on the Supreme Court installed him there."

 Lap Dance Supremecy

 Worried that contact between dancers and customers breeds prostitution, Clark County
 commissioners have adopted an ordinance that strictly limits what parts of a dancer's body
 can touch a patron and that outlaws putting tip money behind a dancer's G-string.

 You can't ask those girls to work for free!
 This is a sexist, anti-female law, written by can't-get-any sexually-frustrated Republicans.

 The new ordinance, which affects clubs near the Strip, replaces a 1994 law that had outright
 banned exotic dancers from performing up close and-personal for individual patrons,
 frequently in curtained rooms. The law had gone unenforced because strip clubs had
 successfully challenged its constitutionality.

"These restrictions will still allow people to come here and have fun," said one commissioner.
"But many of the activities that had been going on were prostitution, or close to it."

 Shades of Koresh!

 What happened to "less government?"
 What happened "rugged individualism?"
 What happened to "entrepreneurism?"

 The new law defines which parts of a patron's body the dancer cannot touch, and which parts
 of her body are off-limits to customer contact. But Atkinson Gates, who initially wanted a 6-foot
 separation between dancer and patron, supported the final draft, which allows the dancer to slide
 down a patron's leg as long as she doesn't touch his groin or his feet.

 ha ha
 Just yesterday, we had a true quote from President Junior who said,
 "I was a bulldog on the pant leg of opportunity."

 So, Dim Son can ride Daddy's pant leg into the White House,
 but a scanty clad can't touch a patron's feet because that's illegal?

 Officials said the restrictions were needed because an 18-month undercover vice operation
 resulted in 63 arrests of 52 dancers on prostitution charges.

 Hey! My good Catholic math says that's 3.5 arrests a month.
 In a town that gets 200,000 new customers a day?
 A town with the best-looking call girls in the whole world?
 I'll bet Tulsa has that many arrests every damn week, and our hookers all have eye patches
 and figures like Ann Coulter. We must have the ugliest hookers in America!

"In my city, as long as no law is broken, anything goes. That's what Las Vegas is all about.
 That's what makes us mythical," said Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman

 ...but not if you make all the fun stuff  ILLEGAL!

 We'd better get out there while gambling and fine tequila are still legal...


30 years ago TODAY, G.W. Bush was suspended (verbal orders) from flying as a National Guard pilot.

(Marty Heldt's site, http://users.cis.net/coldfeet/grounded.gif)

As I'm sure you know, he never flew again, or even bothered to show up for duty.
These days, he's directing the VA to stop helping vets get the health care they're entitled to.

Click  Here

What a bastard.

Keep up the good work.

- Willy

 Subject: Vegas?


 Would love to go, but I listened to my wife and my broker and stayed in the market.
 Lost everthing but my ass and it is getting thin.  I wanted to get out after Smirk was
 anointed Prez, but my wife said the Republics would not let the market dry up and my
 broker said I would take to big a hit with penalties and taxes if I got out.

 Well, as Raygun would say, after 100,000+ losses on my pension money, am now looking
 for a job at age 62, thanks to Smirk, Uncle Dick and all the Bush Minions.  Have fun Bart,
 and think about us old farts that have lost it all because of the Supremes verdict.


 Richard, hang in there, Dude.
 There are tens of millions of us in that same boat.

 Sorry to hear about your troubles, I'm hearing it from lots of people.
 We lost a lot, too, but we still have a decade to gain it back.
 That's what happens when the whore court takes away our right to vote.
 Bush is determined to give OUR money away to his oil buddies and billionaire friends,
 and we're powerless to stop him because Scalia didn't like the way the people voted.


 But then again, ...one school of thought would be to make the Vegas trip
 and let the gods  know you're not to be trifled with!!!

 If you can't make Vegas, I'll do a toast for you :)


 The Empire Strikes Back, Again, Redux, Part 2
  Back to Baghdad for Bush's Bullies
       by Ted Rall

  Click  Here

 It's the middle of a Bush administration, so it must be time to distract a recession-battered public
 with saber-rattling tirades equating Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein with Adolf Hitler.
 How else can Bush get his approval rating back up from 65 to 92 percent?
 But selling Americans on Gulf War Boondoggle 2: The Revenge will likely prove more difficult
 than convincing them to show up for the 1991 original.  As Congressmen Chuck Hagel (R-NE)
 points out, "There are a number of difficult questions that need to be asked before Congress
 would support a resolution of war against Iraq."

  Bush urinates on sick veterans
 Memo urges VA staff to stop pushing services
  Bush plays shell game with benefits, budget squeeze cited; Kerry seeks reversal

  Click  Here

 A top official at the US Department of Veterans Affairs has ordered local VA administrators
 across the country to stop marketing their health care services and recruiting new veterans to
 use them because of tight finances and the risk of increasing already long waiting times for services.

 Bush gave away/stole the 5 TRILLION that the Clinton Miracle left us and now he's
 telling our old and sick veterans they have to do without? There was always plenty of
 money when Bill Clinton was president, because he didn't rob the Treasury blind.

 Why do our military boys love this greedy bastard so much?
 He's a snotty rich kid who bought his way out of Vietnam, went AWOL, never worked
 a single day in his life and then stole the White House and now he's peeing on veterans?

 ...and the veterans LOVE HIM!

Subject: Flight 93 Feedback


Way back when this 9/11 nightmare started I talked to an air traffic controller buddy of mine.
We usually chat about the air disasters.  It's the old journalist in me.  Suffice for purposes of this
discussion to say he works in an area that had Flight 93 on its scope.  Regarding Flight 93 he said
"That plane didn't just crash."  As I pressed him (and he was understandably reticent), he remarked:
"You don't get a 22 mile debris field with almost microscopic airplane pieces when a plane just
 bangs into the ground."

"Was it shot down?" I asked.

"The fighters were scrambled," he replied. "They knew what had already happened.
After three have already crashed, you gonna let another one get close to DC?"

"But was it shot down?" I pressed.

"Dude...please.  You're smart.  You know the answer," was all he said.

"But what about the "Let's roll" business?"

"Makes nice copy doesn't it?"


Subject: The "Big Threats - Small Balls" Doctrine


"War can only be justified and sanctioned if our beloved
  Führer's sons and daughters lead the initial onslaught."

 More evidence of the Bush/Cheney malaise

 Found this handy-dandy Layoff Calculator (by Economy.com)
 It's amazing... you enter your zip code, your industry, your relative job title (it's a bit limited;
 I mean, "bartender" isn't even an option, heh) and your stock symbol if publicly traded,
 and you get a nice bar chart exhibiting your probability of being unemployed by the end of 2002.

 Click  Here

 Can you even begin to imagine such a service being offered during the Clinton Years????

 Keep sweepin' that freakin' hammer upside their heads,
 Jennifer the Cincinnati Bartender :-)


 Bush Outlines Faith-Based Economic Initiatives
   as seen on thespeciousreport.com

  Click  Here

 It's a win-win kind of thing," the President declared.
"It gets rid of that fuzzy math I hate so much.
 And since it's not retroactive, nobody will be brought to trial
 never in a million years. So everybody wins."

        I cant stand Limbaugh and I am a registered democrat.
I don't know anyone who is as radical as you seem to be.
Its a free country so knock yourself out.
I believe in America, its the best country in the world.

You have a right to your opinion as does every American, but c'mon dude...
you cant believe half the shit you post on your web site...but then...maybe you do...lol!

Live long and prosper bart, life is short....start looking at the positive,
peace of mind will be your reward.


Yeah, I can believe you're a Democrat, all right.
You think our best course of action is to have a Coke and a smile and shut the hell up?

And sure, there's some comedy on this site - you're supposed to know what's comedy
and what's real, and the B.F.E.E. taking over the world is as real as Earth's gravity.

Christ, those crooks have control over our military and possession of the American Treasury.
You think that's not a danger?

If you find something I've written that isn't true (and not a comedy bit) write to me,
be polite, and I'll either explain it further or take it down and apologize.

 Congrats to Mickey Kaus, whore in the Slate.com stables, managed to write
 an entire column without accusing Ol' Bart of wanting to kill the president.

 Click  Here

 Mickey, you're a worthless hack scumbag and a cheap whore - now get outta here.

Subject: Trafficant's Hairpiece

Heard on the news that Trafficant won't be able to wear his toupee in the stir.
That's a hairpiece?

He actually thinks he would look stupid if he were bald?

How did he come to ask for something that looks like a grey, diseased,
dead animal that perches on the top of his head and look natural?
Maybe it was a fraternity prank that got out of hand.


Mick, most people don't know one of the eight charges was "felony bad hair."
Leno said Basketboy's the only man in history that'll look better with a prison haircut.

The new Dana Carvey movie...

USA Today says it is "excruciatingly unfunny, lacking even a hint of humor.
Disguise has distinguished itself as the summer's worst movie."

Subject: The Somalia Goatscrew

The guy who was writing about the Somalia campaign that
Bush I left for Clinton kept talking about December 2000, i.e.

"We were alerted for the mission in mid-December 2000."

He also says his men depalletized their gear on Christmas Eve 2000.

What's up with this?  I thought the whole Somalia thing went down in 92-93.
You were certainly talking like that was the time frame.

I was just going to let it slide and say "Someone else will pick this up,"
then I realized that's the attitude of those people who don't vote.  That's not an attitude I want.

Keep raising that hammer!


Tom, that was a typo on his part I should've caught.
Bush was president at Christmas 1992.
He sent the troops to Somalia and left office 25 days later.
Months into the mission, the Somalia bad guys kept stealing the food
so they had to be routed out - that's when our boys got caught..

Had Bush used his head, he would've known Somalia was overrun by
these warlords and sent our boys over with the right tools to do the job.


 Remember: Joe Conason's Journal is daily at Salon.com


 Know of any good bits or issues that need a repeat?

 Bush Enacts and Kills Corporate Reform Law on the Same Day
      by the Angry Liberal

   Click  Here

 Bush is a hard-wired corporate cheerleader. He fancies himself a successful businessman,
 which is absolutely true, except for the "successful" part. Anyway, the point is that if Bush
 ever attempted to really crack down on corporate fraud, his head would explode like a pinata,
 scattering misremembered quotes from his favorite Johns (Locke and Wayne) on the floor beneath him.

 BartFest2002 - Party of the Year

 Make your own hotel reservations.


 Big News: Nothing yet, but that could change any moment.
 Y'know, in a way, it's kind of exciting - the danger behind the BartFest.

 Last night I made my best pitch via voice mail to our two top vote-getters.

We rolled the dice!

 ...we are now officially out on a limb...isn't this exciting?
 (Oh, God, please don't let me lose my ass on this)

 13 days from today...The Rio will ask "Bart, you in or out?"

 I hope to get positive answers from both before August 15th.
 Pray for me.

 September 28th -  tickets on sale!

                  Las Vegas - where you can do things you probably wouldn't do at home.

 That "History of Las Vegas" that was on The History Channel a few nights ago?
 They said Ronald Reagan only had one nightclub act his whole career.
 He opened in Vegas, swear to Koresh, with a troop of monkeys.

  ha ha

 The monkeys weren't trained very well and all they did was sit around and throw things.
 Reagan knew he was such a loser that all he could do was work with monkeys
 so he went on to be the idiot figurehead of the ditto-monkey party.

 Click  Here  to see Bart's 40 (so far) things to do in Vegas.

 Click  Here  to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas

 Talk to me!

 Is it wise to support  bartcop.com?
 If we don't fight back - who will?
 The elected Democrats?

 But Bart, ...Dubya's our friend...

 Click below to become a Corona Light volunteer for just $5 a month

 Click  Here  to donate large.

 Help if you can..

 They read it in Qinhuangdao, China.
 They read it in Neufch'tel-en-Bray, France
 They read it in Lincoln, Nebraska just before OU kicks their butt.


BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
 BartCop, ...BartCop...

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