POLITICS - HUMOR -
FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE
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Julie Hiatt Steele
"I know all the war rhetoric, but it's all
aimed at achieving peace."
--Too Stupid to be President, Aug. 7, 2002
The spectacle of President Bush groveling to Saudi bigots is a disgrace.
Our president speaks of an "axis of evil," but ignores the nexus of evil in Riyadh.
The sad explanation seems to be that this
oilman's administration cannot see beyond
the lure of oil deals, past cozy historical relationships between American dynasties
and the Saudi dynasty, or past the traditional wisdom that has served to protect only
degenerate Saudi princes, not the American people.
This is no surprise to anyone familiar with the B.F.E.E.
They have been a tool of the Saudi's for what, 30 years now?
Poppy Bush is as close to the Faud's as any American citizen.
They've stolen billions together.
They have a common enemy - the United States.
Subject: geldings dems
It's not like Dems suddenly stopped fighting when Bush was installed ...they haven't fought in years.
In 8 years it seems Bill was NEVER given a hand in any battle . This is not a recent phenomenon .
But why is it Dick Armey, ( Dick Armey!! ) that
protests Bush's going to war without going to Congress first.
why is it Dick Armey who first uses the word "illegal" when speaking about a Bush move???
It's embarrassing !
Annie, you are so correct.
The Dems lost the House in 1994 because they refused to stand with Clinton on health care.
They rarely stood with Clinton on anything. When the GOP said "Clinton is a bad man," the Dems agreed
and brought shame onto themselves. Then during impeachment, they screamed "ditto" whenever somebody
called Clinton an "immoral monster." The best reply the Dems had was, "but he's our immoral monster."
Even people like Bill Press, hired to give the Demo spin on Crossfire,
"admitted" again and again
that Clinton was a scumbag who committed terrible, immoral, dastardly and evil sins, meanwhile
Reagan & Bush got away with arming BIG terror and nobody ever attacked them for it.
Now, Armey joins Barr, Burton, Klayman and Jeffords
as the heroes of the left.
Please, God, send a a hero!
This is like living in the Bizarro World.
Laura does it again!
This kind of story is my favorite kind of story to write.
This stuff and Monkey Mail just makes my day.
I'm putting this on a separate page so hundreds of other sites can link to it.
Webmasters note: I will give your
site a free plug if you link to this page.
I can't guarantee every site will get a plug, due to moral concerns.
If you have the morals of Laura Schlessinger - no deal.
Be sure to check the Dr Laura Parody Pages
Subject: We won't invade Iraq...yet.
No invasion yet. They will hold off for one of two timeframes.
1. Right before the next congressional election.
If it appears the republicans are losing too much ground, we will invade.
2. Right before the next presidential election.
If BushBoy looks too low in the polls, the bombs will fly.
Here is how I see it. The polls go south.
Somebody in the White House will release a "New Video"
showing that Osama is alive and well and living in Iraq. Then we bomb the pojees out of the Iraqis, in hopes
of thinking that the Fraud has some testosterone. Then the polls go up, and the election is stolen... again.
Hopefully the average American will be more concerned
with the fact that they can't retire until
they hit 80 years old, and they don't care about "Operation Hide Our Mistakes Behind Explosions".
"They don't call me 'Old Baggy Pants'
-- Rush the truth molester, 19 minutes into the show Friday
Subject: Re Paul Begala and Pot
Dumb mistake Paul Begala has made on Cross-Fire
this week. I brought up to Mike Malloy on his Radio Show.
What the hell is Paul Begala doing ganging up with Novak on the War on Marijuana in Nevada? It's Crossfire right?
Guess what Mike Malloy tells his audience that he has seen Paul Begala Smoking a joint.
Now I have seen Paul Begala almost daily on Cross-Fire
- perhaps he can sit in on for Tucker or Novak some nights.
Then again would anyone notice?
Thanks for giving me time to rant.
I got a lot of feedback on the Begala thing and some people are under
the mistaken impression
that Paul is there NOT to speak for the left, but to give his personal views - that's crazy.
Noval and Carlson will always give the hard-right spin, and Begala wants
to go AWOL?
Begala is, in a way, the defense attorney for the left. He's not supposed to be agreeing with
Novak on every other issue - he's supposed to be speaking for the majority that won in 2000.
Oh, God, how did I land in a party of wimps and quitters?
Subject: Tequila at 70
Tonight I had my first Chinaco Anejo and I drank a toast to you, Bartcop.
My son had invited me to see Laurie Metcalf in
a play at Steppinwolf Playhouse in Chicago.
Across the street was a restaurant called Don Juan....great enchiladas mole.......an OK margarita
made with Cuervo Gold and Grand Marnier.Their tequila selection was excellent, including a few $38.00 brands.
The Chinaco Anejo was only $7.50 ! Excellent ! Magical !
And so at the age of 70, I've experienced something
new and wonderful.
I'm not a sipper of straight liquors, but this was extraordinary.
So thank you !
Yep, ain't nothing like God's Sunshine.
Thanks for that note.
Charton Heston has Alzheimers
"Mr Clinton, you can have my musket when
your pry my old wrinkled hands from it."
But Chuck, Clinton never tried to take your musket.
You made that shit up to scare the extra-stupid gun owners.
If you were an honest man, you'd be waving an AK-47 over your head.
That's what Clinton was trying to outlaw.
...but you've never been honest, have you, Chuck?
That Gaddam Saddam
I took the whooole weekend off.
Subject: you WEEKEND deadbeat PRICK
So, you leave us out here twisting in the
wind and you
just do weekend issues just whenever you please ?
You fucking PRICK. Drop dead, asshole.
Kiss my ass before you go, too.
My stalkers can't go 48 hours without their bartcop.com
It's their oxygen, their reason for living, why they get out of bed in the morning.
My stalkers love bartcop.com more than their wives, more than their kids.
Snippy, here needs to take his Pamprin and get back to his circle jerk.
asked to target online song swappers
"Music pirates are a bigger threat than Al Qaeda," said one source
"Somewhere, Lars Ulrich has the woody of a lifetime," said another.
U.S. lawmakers have asked Field marshall
John Ashcroft to go after Internet users
who download unauthorized songs, raising the possibility of jail time for digital-music fans.
In a July 25 letter released late Thursday,
19 lawmakers asked Ashcroft to prosecute "peer-to-peer"
networks like Kazaa and Morpheus and those who swap digital songs without permission.
If all those kids with illegal music would just contact their
nearest T.I.P.S. narc, we could clean up this country
in no time. You'd think the Ashcroft monster would have other things on his mind, but staffers convinced him
some of these pirates might be pot users, so Ashcroft came on-board. Lars Ulrich, who plays the greed machine
for the once-popular "Metallica" group, was elated when he heard the news. "It's about time we jailed these
illegal fans of ours," said Ulrich. "They've listened to their last bootleg. Knowing that kids will do time
in prison is like having Christmas in August. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me..."
Ashcroft & Ulrich - putting kids in prison
for "illegal listening" to Lar's music.
The Dream Team is on the job!
Way to go, guys!
Maybe we can't find bin Laden,
but we'll find you damn music pirates!
Click Here to see Lars explain why "Money good, Napster bad."
(This is one of the funniest things on the Internet)
"I, ...I see that picture of us there
on the monitor, ...and I can't help but thinkin',
'Boy, look at those two good-looking sins of bitches.' "
-- Dave, talking to Paul Newman Friday night.
logic of loving Al Gore
by Carla Binion
Love and logic don't always seem to mix, but when it comes to learning to love
Gore and even the weak-kneed Democrats in Congress the head and heart meet.
Disillusioned Democrats might be tempted to turn to the Green party or stay away
from the polls in the next election. However, as Doug Ireland points out in an article
for In These Times (8/19/02), "Democratic chances of retaining their one vote Senate
control are shaky at best."
Extremely funny, laugh-out-loud fantastic site
Thought He was busy...
Subject: ARE YOU A CHILD OF GOD?
Romans 8:16: The Spirit itself beareth
witness with our spirit, that we are the CHILDREN OF GOD:
17 And if CHILDREN, then heirs; heirs OF GOD, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer
with him, that we may be also glorified together.
So, are you a CHILD OF GOD?
We are too and we would like to welcome you to COGApparel.com
was established with the purpose of giving praise to the FATHER,
contributing to the body of Christ in our everyday lifestyle of dress and to further share
a bond with all of our brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus worldwide. It is true blessing
that people are more confident with their walk with Christ than ever before, whereby
you see visually with their choice of dress and accessories depicting references to God.
"Are you a child of God? Prove it! Buy this shirt!"
Even I'm not that shameless when I whore for contributions.
Madness of King George
Parody and satire with a dash of fact
Subject: are you a progressive redneck?
I'm just curious, are you a progressive redneck?
There is no better group of people in this country than progressive rednecks.
They 'get-it' far better than anybody else.
They have a better understanding of racism than
any other white group.
Bill Clinton is a good example.
So am I right or is this just some crazy fantasy of mine?
Keep up the fantastic work!
Hector - progressive spic
Hec, not sure about your terms, but I'm not 100% leftist, but I'd be
to be in Clinton's corner, race-wise, and I like the questions you're asking.
More people should be asked to examine their degree of racism.
I doubt anybody is 100 percent pure of racism.
(with apologies to Country Joe & The Fish)
And it's one, two, three,
What are we fighting for ?
Don't ask me, I don't give a crap,
Let's go and bomb Iraq;
And it's five, six, seven,
Open up the pearly gates,
Well there ain't no time to wonder why,
Whoopee! we're all gonna die.
The JulieFest Tape
Still getting requests for that - it's a really nice package.
How/Why to order
One thing, trying to keep the costs down
on tape overhead expenses, I've been using newspaper
as a shock absorber for the tape, instead of paying extra for a padded envelope or "popcorn."
I guess I should've mentioned this earlier, but many of those
newspapers have circles around
headlines and comments next to paragaphs that turned into extra-funny rants on bartcop.com
I was telling this to Mrs. BartCop, and she said, "So? ...get to the point."
Well, I told her that possessing the original, hand-written BartCop
notes could be priceless,
kinda like having the original words to I Am the Walrus written on a napkin.
She rolled her eyes, said, "Yeah, ...I
am the Walrus..."
...laughed to herself, then said "Take out the trash, Paul."
"I don't believe that America will justifiably
unprovoked attack on another nation. It would not be
consistent with what we have been as a nation,
or what we should be as a nation."
--Dick Armey, left-wing peacenik, doing the Democrat's job for them
On Friday afternoon and night, I was about even. On Saturday afternoon, I hit
a couple of quads for a $1200 profit. On Saturday night, all went downhill.
I could not find 3 of a kind, much less quads. I ended up losing about $ 800.00.
Apparently I had played enough on my Ballys connection card, good at Ballys,
Paris, Caesars, and others. They comped my whole trip, including food and
room for the 2 days they were going to charge me for
This is why you should play their "club game," whatever it's called.
If you lose $800, they might comp your room & meals.
Subject: Bombing the Saudis
First of all your intitial instinct to want to
bomb the saudis was correct.
It's what those bastards deserve and I wish we would do it. I don't know why you felt the need
to change your opinion just because your frightened, feckless left wing readers were offended.
The saudis need to be taught a lesson and you
were right that we ought to bomb their holy sites.
Don't back down.
L-66, I only back down when I'm wrong.
Going bomb-crazy is always a man's first reaction.
(Here comes the excuse)
The thing you read each day at bartcop.com is a like a working script.
I hear/read/see something and I rush my first reaction onto the next day's page.
Sure, I wanted them all dead, and their families dead, like I was watching "Godfather III."
But as soon as someone pointed out that destroying the sacred site of
a billion people might not
be the very best way to handle this, especially since they can't control bin Laden any more than
we can control, say, just to pick a name, Minister Farrakhan, that might mean punishing the wrong people.
...good to see a lefty with some fight, tho...
BartFest2002 - Party of the Year
Make your own hotel reservations.
Big News: Nothing yet, but that could change any moment.
The dice have been rolled!
Someone told me the Freepers are doing a Vegasfest this month.
Of course, being Freepers, they are well-organized and well-funded.
They say they raised $80K at the last get together and it was attended
by thousands and all kinds of right-wing politicians showed up for their rally.
Things sure are different on our side.
is all we have.
Four days from todayThe Rio will ask "Bart, you in or out?"
...we are out on a limb, ...isn't it exciting?
(Oh, God, please don't let me lose my ass on this!)
28th - tickets
Las Vegas - an oasis in a religiously insane country
Click Here to see Bart's 40 (so far) things to do in Vegas.
Click Here to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas
Talk to me!
Special bartcop.com Exclusive
Gambling: The Absolute Minimum
A primer on how to not lose your ass gambling at the casinos
by George Backus
Click Here for Installment One
Bart met Robert Plant
Most of you don't care that we met Led Zeppelin's singer, but it's a semi-funny story.
So I snuck down to Robert's room.
I was all alone in the hall, when Robert stuck his head out the door to see if the coast was clear.
Robert saw me and I said, "Could I just get one more autograph?"
He looked at me and screamed "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
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Seen on a Freeper page - how long will it stay up?
On Paul Begala!
by Dian Hardison
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
© 2002, bartcop.com
Heard at BartFest