Once more through the list...
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work is good
tax cuts is good
Spanish are good
Osama is good
No, Osama is bad!
Clinton is bad
negroes are bad
poor folks are anti-capitalists
a tree is best cut.
...and I can do whatever I want.


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Volume 876 - Fox Force Five
 VCR Alert - A Tuesday TV Event - Brooke Burke's Wild Off at The Palms pool in Las Vegas.


Tuesday   August 27, 2002.................................... .............................................. 


“God is in control. I believe he will vindicate me.”
    --  Amina Lawal Kurami, the Nigerian woman sentenced to die
         by stoning for giving birth outside her marriage

  ...Lady, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but...

 Patriotic veteran outraged by president, attorney general

  Click  Here

 For citizens of our nation, unacceptable changes have taken place in the way
 of life that everyone expected. Recent events have changed our freedom of choice,
 freedom of association, and freedoms of thought and speech.

 A candidate who didn't receive the majority of the popular vote in was subsequently
 appointed to the presidency by the Supreme Court, thereby becoming our illegitimate president.
 The choice of the voters of our country was taken away by a partisan court in conjunction
 with voter fraud and ballot counting. This was only the beginning.

 I can only hope that I am a crackpot
 by Bob Reynolds

  Click  Here

 So when a friend of mine phoned me at a Motel 6 in Idaho early on September 11 to ask if I had heard about the
 two planes hitting the WTC, I told him "I am not surprised" (my exact words) and I told him a few of the items
 from the above list of 5 events. Then, as I was pulling into a car wash about 15 minutes later the lady working there
 asked me if I had heard the news. I told her "It is because of what Bush is doing to our country."
 She, of course, thought I was a crackpot. I can only HOPE that I am a crackpot.


“They were always talking to others on their mobile phones.
  They apparently were receiving orders from outside, perhaps
  Washington or Tel Aviv or London, or perhaps the office of Rumsfeld.”
      --  Shamil Mohammed, Iraqi diplomat in the Berlin embassy, voicing his beliefs
           that the siege of the embassy by "Iraqi dissidents" were American-led.

 Gee, I don't know - they look like simple Iraqi students to me...

 Tonight's 'Wild Off'

 I'm very excited about the Brooke Burke Special tonight.
 This is Brooke's last night as the host of the E! Channel's Wild On, thus the name
 It's called The Wild Off, because  they're going to find a replacement for Brooke

 I'm so old, I remember when  Jaguar.com  had the snappiest opening java thing.
 I no longer think that.
(Hell,  bettybowers.com  has been a monster for years - I should do this catagory more often)
 But the current champ has to be BrookeBurke.com
 Brooke in a bikini in Vegas is tough to beat!

 Click  Here  if you wanna see how every broad's web site outta look.
 (Doing that Ackroyd character who talked about "Titian" on SNL.)
 Seriously, it's done very well, and in very good taste.

 So, they're going to "find a replacement" for Brooke Burke?

 ha ha

 Sure they are.
 And as soon as they're finished, ...they're going to find a replacement for
 Elvis, Bill Clinton, Krispy Kreme, WC Fields, Coke, Apple Pie and Jimi Hendrix.

 Tonight on E!, right after Anna Nicole's mess of a show

 I know Larry will be watching...

 Guess who's got a new web page?


 Hey, Henry - who's your girlfriend?

 Wait, I'll bet Henry is a "Christian" so that means he's "forgiven." right?


"I believe the enemy has wakened a spirit in this country that understands
  in order to fight evil, in order to fight evil -- that in order to fight evil,
  you can do so by loving your neighbor just like you'd like to be loved yourself."
      -- Waaaay too stupid to run the shake machine at Burger King

by The Pieman

 How does LA feel about the Unelected Fraud?

 ...looks like they feel the same way as Stockton and Portland.

 Thanks to Debra R

 Random Las Vegas story

 In 1983, we took our first big trip. We drove our new Grand Prix to Texas, New Mexico, Colorado,
 Utah, Nevada, LA, (where we saw Richard Pryor) San Fransisco, then back to LA, then Arizona,
 New Mexico, Texas and then back home. It was a busy weekend.

 As we left Grand Junction, Colorado and headed southwest, we were amazed at seeing the mountains
 of red rocks for hundreds of miles. We drove and drove. As we closed in on the Nevada border, we stopped
 at Bryce Canyon and were blown away by its beauty and the cold winds. It was starting to get dark and we
 still had 4 hours to our next stop, which was Vegas.

 About a hundred miles from Las Vegas, we saw a giant pink cloud in the sky, far away. Since it was very dark,
 I composed a list of possible explanations for the giant pink cloud in the sky. Ruling out nighttime nuclear testing,
 (but we were in the right place for it, if that's what it turned out to be...) I finally deduced that the giant pink cloud
 could only be Las Vegas in the cold, dead desert.  We continued to drive and drive. Las Vegas 80 miles,
 Las Vegas 60 miles,   Las Vegas 40 miles,  Las Vegas is only 20 miles away.

 Finally, we topped the last mountain and it was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen:
 The entire valley came into view, and the dark desert night suddenly had a billion lights.
 In the center of the billion lights, a little to the left, there was a higher concentration of lights.

 I saw The Strip at night - for the first time.

 Dick Cheney's Desperation



 "I think work is incredibly important. Work leads to dignity."
      -- Oil for brains never worked a day in his life, not even as president

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 Lock the doors and bar the windows,
 it's The Joey Joe Joe Show, 

 Click  Here  Then click on "The Joey Joe Joe Show" on the middle right.

 Show #5  has special guest Faun Otter!

 Liberal radio, archived so you can hear it at your convenience, run by
 our very own Joe Vecchio from the BartCop MIRC chat room.

 Maybe they'll let me on their show since I gave them this plug?

 DNA tests free man for rape, murder after 17 years

  Click  Here

  Eddie Joe Lloyd

 Whenever a story like this comes out, the Bush people (and others who live to execute people)
 always say, "No innocent man has ever been put to death," but how would we know that?

 What state is going to spend the time and money to DNA test a man the killed?

 I watched my tape of ESPN's "25 Years of Great Sports Clips" and was disappointed.
 Koresh, I have hundreds of hours of great sports tapes.
 I was hoping ESPN's collection would be better than mine.


 They didn't even mention the night, while not being the greatest sports moment per se, it certainly wins
 the Ed Murrow Award for "Best Sports Broadcasting Moment."

 The night Cal Ripken broke the Iron Man record, (How do you spell Lou Geghrig?)
 Take away the magical sports moments themselves, the greatest moment in sports coverage
 was Chris Berman, watching Cal Ripken take his victory lap around the field, ...and it was priceless!

 Don't get me wrong - I LIKE Chris Berman, but I didn't love him until he bit his tongue that night.
 Bob Costas would've been squawking a hundred words a second, "explaning" what we were seeing.

  ...but Berman knew to shut the hell up.

 Shot of Chinaco to Chris Berman and his classy understatement.

 Chris, if you want, ...I'll speak at your funeral.

What they're promising:
5 Nights/6 Days
• Roundtrip Air • Rental Car
• Hotel • $500 Value Fun Book

Five nights for $600?
Might be worth a click.


"I am familiar with the arguments against taking action in the case of Saddam Hussein.
  Some concede that Saddam is evil,  power hungry and a menace, but that until he crosses
  the threshold of actually possessing nuclear weapons we should rule out any preemptive action.
  That logic seems to me to be deeply flawed. The argument comes down to this:   'Yes, Saddam is
  as dangerous as we say he is, we just need to let him get stronger before we do anything about it,"'
   -- Unka Dick, who "had other things to do" when he was drafted

 But Dick, you guys can't handle Osama or the Anthrax killer.
 What makes you think you can handle a whole country?
 And when you can't find Saddam - then what?

 You attack North Korea, because they getting stronger every day?

Woo Hoo!

Luke Perry gets despondent if the new issue of
bartcop.com  isn't posted by noon LA time.

 Bush on Fire
    by Paul Krugman

   Click  Here

 "Round up the usual suspects! George W. Bush's new "Healthy Forests" plan reads like a parody
  of his administration's standard operating procedure. You see, environmentalists cause forest fires,
  and those nice corporations will solve the problem if we get out of their way."

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 We've got to build a bigger hammer.
 The illegal President Monkey in a Man Suit needs to be stopped.

 Click  Here  to donate large.

click for great toons

  Click  Here  for today's Southwest Airlines Vegas specials

 $95 one-way, to/from Albuquerque
 $99 one-way, to/from Baltimore
 $99 one-way, to/from Houston
 $74 one-way, to/from Oakland
 $39 one-way, to/from Phoenix
 $79 one-way, to/from Portland
 $39 one-way, to/from Reno/Tahoe
 $76 one-way, to/from Sacramento
 $99 one-way, to/from St. Louis
 $58 one-way, to/from Salt Lake City
 $39 one-way, to/from San Diego
 $79 one-way, to/from Seattle/Tacoma
 $79 one-way, to/from Spokane
 $99 one-way, to/from Tampa Bay

 Life on Dubya’s Animal Farm
  Reflections on Orwell and the Stockton Protest
       by Dwayne Eutsey

  Click  Here

 In Orwell’s book, if anyone questioned Napoleon, the lead pig on the farm, “the sheep were sure to silence him
 with a tremendous bleating of 'Four legs good, two legs bad!’”  The bleating would continue until all questions
 were forgotten or dissenters were too intimidated to raise them again.   Similarly, the citizens in the auditorium
 who dared question the sanity of AWOL Bush’s disastrous plans to invade Iraq were drowned out by the
 GOP sheep obediently bleating “USA!  USA!  USA!”

 We haven't done one of these in a while.
 As you know, I'm at a disadvantage in that I never see any audience reaction.

and tell me what I'm doing wrong.
 "Bart, I mostly love the page, but I hate it when you......."

and tell me what I'm doing right.
 "Bart, your page rocks, especially when you.........."

Subject: State of the nation

As the anniversary of 9-11 approaches, Americans and ditto-heads alike are converging
to reflect upon the tragedy and its consequences. So let's review the state of the nation:

Bin Laden is still at large
The anthrax killer is also still at large
Halliburton and Carlyle are still making money from war
Saudi Arabia is still an evil influence
Ashcroft is still shredding the constitution
Bush the lesser is still an idiot
The Clintons are still being slandered
Gore is still being demonized
The economy is still going south
The religious right are still insane
Cancer and AIDS patients are still being criminalized
Corporate criminals are still getting off
Health insurance is still grossly expensive
Drug companies are still raping the elderly and disabled
Star Wars is still a Bad Idea
Mother Nature is still NOT HAPPY
Right wing shills still claim to be patriots
Mass media is still supine

Everything has changed, right?

Jeff Tatum

 BartFest2002 - Party at the Rio

 Make your own hotel reservations.

 BartFest tickets will be available until the night of the party.

 Update - Vegas Fever is getting hotter every day.

 I had an idea: This isn't an offer or a proposal, this is an idea.
 One of the best visuals you'll ever have is your first trip down The Strip at night. I know a lot of you
 will be in town a day early, so what we could do is meet, say at the Hard Rock Friday night, just before
 sunset and enjoy a meal, a shot of fine tequila or a few cocktails.  Then, when it's good & dark, we all pile
 into a van or a bus (we're checking prices) and have Cubby show us The Strip and downtown.

 I think even the non-drinkers would would get a big kick out of it.
 You could play the slots or get a bite to eat and join us at busloading time.

 One thing to keep in mind, especially if you're just there for the weekend, is time management.
 You should make a list of what you MUST see, because you'd hate to miss a lot because you got
 distracted and let time get away from you.  I would think your MUST-sees would include The Venetian,
 The Bellagio, New York, New York, Mandalay Bay and maybe Paris.
 Figure on seeing the interiors during the day, the nights will take care of themselves.

 So this is a possible for Friday night.  Other possibles include a trip to Area 51, but it's 2 hours each way,
 so that'll eat into an evening.  I recommend getting there just before dark, because they don't have signs or anything.
 (Reminder: It's legal to go up to the sign, just don't go past it.)
 You'll need the light to find the secret dirt road. Once you're there, you wait for it to get completely dark.
 After you see the flying saucers, it's another 2 hours back, but the good news is, Las Vegas never sleeps.

 But Bart, what if you have car trouble in the desert?   No problem.
 Whatever vehicle you take into the desert, they can tow.


 Check The Rio web site.
 Click on "Hot Deals,"and get a luxury suite for $139 on Fri/Sat and $59 Sun-Thurs.


In less than 5 weeks ...isn't it exciting?
 (Oh, God, please don't let me lose my ass on this!)

 September 28th -  tickets on sale!

                                         Caesars Palace

 If you're thinking you'll pass on this Fest and make the next one, ...that may be a mistake.
 Besides, if you don't come, the terrorists win, and we can't have that.

 Click  Here  to see Bart's 48 (so far) things to do in Vegas.

 Click  Here  to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas

 Talk to me!

 Special  bartcop.com Exclusive

 Casino Gambling: The Absolute Minimum
   A primer on how to not lose your ass gambling at the casinos
    by  George Backus

 Click  Here  for Installment One

 Click  Here  for Installment Two

 Click  Here  for Installment Three 

BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, only 32 more days, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
BartCop, ...BartCop...only 32 more days,
 BartCop, ...BartCop...come to Vegas...

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