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Quotes
"Wouldn't it be nice if just once, on some
issue, the Bush administration came up with a plan
that didn't involve weakened
environmental protection, financial breaks for wealthy
individuals and corporations
and reduced public oversight?"
--Paul Krugman
Guess who's back - back again...
Bin
Laden reportedly back in the saddle
Excerpt:
Osama bin Laden is firmly back in command
of al Qaeda and the group is digging in
for guerrilla attacks on U.S. troops in
Afghanistan, an Arab journalist with close ties
to the militant's associates said on Tuesday.
Bin Laden was in good health and "safe"
and was planning new attacks on the United
States, he was told.
...but that idiot Bush boy said, "bin
Laden doesn't matter."
I sure miss Bill Clinton, where all we had to fight about was
Monica's dress
and how we were going to spend the surplus that The Clinton
Miracle created.
Little
Annie Fanny
by Gene Lyons
Excerpt:
On TV, Coulter conveys all the feminine
warmth of a water mocassin, if you can
imagine a pit viper with silicone implants.
Kayan though, feverishly pictures her walking
a metaphorical tightrope "her long-limbed
signature silhouette poised precariously aloft,
riverine blonde locks riffled by the breeze
and legs coltishly pirouetting."
Quotes
"For all his scripted dumbness, George Bush
is the voice of America. He manages to be loud
and anxious at the same time. When
he speaks his own words they often sound evasive and
uncomprehending. But his is the only
voice there seems to be. He is, after all, the president.
Through him and the handful of his
ministers regularly heard from - which means, in effect,
the defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld,
and almost no one else - we get a monochrome
picture of the US: an America defiant,
haughty and contemptuous towards both dissenters
at home and...other governments that
do not agree with the Bush line abroad."
--Hugo Young, An alternative to Bush is demanding to be heard, guardian.co.uk
Will Republicans Remain Loyal to their Party?
They used to say that the rich get richer
and the poor get poorer. But in these economic times
even the rich are getting poorer. Many
Republicans are heavily invested in the stock market
and have seen their investments and retirement
all but wiped out. They got their big tax cut
- but they also got their income cut.
Republicans didn't like Clinton - but under
Clinton they made a lot of money. They could afford
to send their kids to college and private
schools. Back then the problem was how to cool off the
overheated economy. There were too many
jobs. The debate was over what we were going to do
with the surplus and people suffering from
"sudden wealth syndrome". But the days of peace and
prosperity are gone.
But with the collapse of Enron and the market
in general - Republican voter are really questioning
if America is on the right course. If the
theme of this year's election were "It's the economy stupid!"
the Republican party would be in big trouble.
Marc Perkel
San Francisco
Subject: The coming war?
Bart,
I sometimes write from down here in Australia.
Sometimes you respond sometimes not.
I still love the site, and read it, MWO and Buzzflash
religiously. I am a nurse here in the far north
of Australia (which is sometimes like the US
deep south). Lately we have started having trouble
getting stock for our ICU from our US suppliers.
An opinion has formed among our stores people
that this is because the US is stockpiling medical
equipment.
I have also seen anecdotal mention of people knowing
people in US armed forces units getting shipping orders.
I now think it was always the plan of the Bush
family to go after Iraq, and 9/11 was (if not part of the plan)
an extraordinary stroke of luck for them.
Why else would they have so obviously allowed it to occur?
Do you think that Bush senior may have left Hussein
in place after Gulf war one because they had some
secret agreement and now he has since reneged
on it? At the moment nothing is making sense. Our lapdog
conservative Prime Minister is gunning to get
us involved any way he can, although he has sensed a huge
public backlash building against any war.
I think we can expect a pretext any time now. Maybe some camp
Xray prisoners will be dressed in Iraqi uniforms,
shot and arranged to look like they had made an incursion
into Kuwait or something.
I know that down here there will be more people
on the streets than at the peak of the Vietnam
demonstrations of the 60s if anything happens.
Keep the hammer high! The world is watching
and we rely on you and those like you
to remind us of who the true Americans are.
Paul B
by The Pieman
Carville lets it hang out in Arkansas!
Excerpt:
"Democrats lose elections when they are
timid in reacting to Republican criticism," Carville told
a paying audience of about 200 at the
Bentonville Clarion Inn.
Forget about "eye for an eye. Take a face
for an eye" in reacting to false allegations.
"My next thing is to drive mealy-mouthism
from the Democratic Party. The American people are
not going to elect somebody to defend
America who cannot defend themselves. Republicans have
learned that they can say anything they
want to. When you answer it, a lot of Democrats are horrified.
They say, "You can't do that, that
it's negativism."
No, it's not. It deciding that you aren't
going to let thuggery work."
A shot of Chinaco for our good friend James Carville.
The BIG Brooke Burke Wild Off
Bad news and good news.
The bad news is, they kinda lied about that being Brooke's last
night.
The good news is, they're Swear-to-Koresh finishing up next
Tuesday night.
I didn't watch to see the dozen up-and-comers try to get the job.
I wanted to see Brooke and the fabulous Las Vegas scenery!
They started at The Palms, their sponsor for the special.
The Palms is one spectacular place, let me tell you.
Brooke spoke from The Ghost Bar and you wouldn't believe
the view.
The Ghost Bar (isn't that the best name for a bar, ever?)
is a three-story,
glass-walled celebrity hangout that sits on top of The Palms.
Then they introduced us to the twelve Brooke-wannabes.
Compared to the host, they all looked like boys.
I already know who's going to win - more on that later.
So they dumped the dozen in a van and took on the town.
First stop was the "BIG Shot" on top of the Stratosphere.
You see that spike in the middle?
It has rings around it with seats.
You get strapped in and they shoot you straight up - 4 Gs in
2.5 seconds.
Usually, it stops before it shoots off the top and kills everybody.
I told Mrs. Bart we should try that and she handed me a TRO.
Next stop was The Coyote Bar and Grill at New York,
New York.
not to be confused with our good friend (what's his name?)
who owns
The Coyote Cafe in the MGM Grand. He promised free
tequila for
all BartCoppers, so we have to be sure and make time for that,
right?
Next stop was Club Ra at The Luxor. (I've never
been there, they tell me it's nice)
They put some nasty pants on the girls and had them go-go dance.
Sidebar: Since the show is called
"Wild On," they had to use the term "wild," often,
but after a while I figured out "wild"
usually meant girl-on-girl rubbing, dancing or kissing.
Show me a man who doesn't like to see two
women fooling around and I'll show you a gay man.
This is where one of the girls started to stand out - Cindy
Taylor.
Some of the girls danced like they were being held at gunpoint,
but this Cindy gal got into it and showed the first bit of charm
for the camera.
"I love to dance," she said,
and I think she won, right there.
Last stop for the night was Desert Rain, back at The
Palms.
They put the girls in lil' rubber outfits and had them dance
some more,
but as my previous testimony will corroberate, I was looking
for scenery.
So, the promised "Wild Off" will actually happen next Tuesday.
Look for Cindy Taylor to win, with Brittany Evans a dark horse.
...but there's only one Brooke Burke.
Quotes
"President Bush handed out the Environmental
Youth Awards at the White House Rose Garden.
There were 33 awards handed out to
youths for taking care of the environment.
The awards were given out in the Rose
Garden and then afterward President Bush
had the kids dig up the roses and look
for oil."
--Conan
O'Brien
I'm
With Dick! Let's Make War!
by Maureen Dowd She
hates everybody, this time it's Smirk & Whistle Dick
Excerpt:
"It was embarrassing yesterday, given President
Bush's swagger on Iraq, to watch him fawn over the Saudis.
At lunch at his ranch he entertained Prince
Bandar, the man who got private planes to spirit bin Laden's relatives
out of the U.S. after the attacks. Mr.
Bush also called Crown Prince Abdullah yesterday to assure him of the
"eternal friendship" between their countries
and to soothe hurt Saudi feelings over a lawsuit filed by 9/11 victims
charging Saudi support of terrorism."
But Mo, if you hate the Bushes so much, why did you tell
so many Gore lies and help the unqualified greedy idiot into
office?
An
open letter to George Walker Bush
by Alan Hale, discoverer of the Hale-Bopp comet
Excerpt:
You have also completely squandered the
goodwill and solidarity felt by the people of the world
towards our nation after we were attacked.
Because of your actions, people around the world now
see the U.S. as, in the recent words of
one British writer, "arrogant, hypocritical, self-absorbed,
self-indulgent, and contemptuous of others."
As one who has been proud to represent America
when I've traveled abroad, these words
sicken me, because I know that they don't represent the
American people – but they do represent
how you have portrayed us to the world.
Great Ted Rall cartoon about being detained with no rights
Subject: Bartfest2002
Bart,
I'm really looking forward to Bartfest.
My husband and I got married in a courthouse quickie
in June in Carson City and we are throwing
a wedding for our friends to attend in Reno on July 21.
Then I figured we would head to Vegas to
celebrate. I booked our room at the Rio today
and am starting to get really excited!
See you there.
M
M, I'm excited, too!
Ain't nothing like Las Vegas.
See you there!
Free stickers for all subscribers
and BartFest ticket holders
or with any donation to bartcop.com
Send in your sticker pictures.
Free ticket to BartFest for best real sticker picture.
and
Free ticket to BartFest for best sticker graphic.
Lock the doors and bar the windows,
it's The
Joey Joe Joe Show, 
Click Here Then click on "The Joey Joe Joe Show" on the middle right.
Show #5 has special guest Faun Otter!
Liberal radio, archived so you can hear it at your convenience,
run by our very own Joe Vecchio from the BartCop
MIRC chat room.
Maybe they'll let me on their show since I gave them this plug?
Wolf - coming to BartFest
Bin Laden thought to have had kidney transplant
Excerpt:
The latest reporting, believed to come
from informants, again suggests
that bin Laden received treatment with
the help of dialysis machines
supplied by Pakistan's intelligence
agency.
Wait a minute...
Either we have the worst intelligence of any powerfil nation,
or our partners are helping the enemy get better so they can
strike again.
Pakistan is supposed to be our ally against bin Laden.
Why are they giving aid and comfort to the enemy?
Did Bush wink and tell them to take care of Osama?
Everybody likes Ann Coulter, right?
Quotes
"The thing I most respond to in the political
arena is people that actually don't play politics,
and I think President Bush comes
from a place that is sincere."
--Former
funnyman turned Nazi Kelsey Grammer, of NBC's Frasier
Kelsey, when did you turn Republican?
About the time you started getting $1.7 million PER WEEK?
Like Dennis Miller, Grammer was once at the very top,
but money turns the weak.
Woo Hoo!
Behind
the defeat of McKinney:
Republican right, Israel lobby unite to silence criticism
of "anti-terror" war
Excerpt:
At the same time the Bush administration—with
the help of its ostensible Democratic opposition
—has worked relentlessly to block any public
investigation into the September 11 attacks. It is
evident that the White House fears the
consequences of a public airing of its own role in the
events both before and after the hijack-bombings.
For these reasons, McKinney—who combined
pro-Palestinian statements with pointed
questions about Bush and September 11—was
singled out as (a) target.
Why are the Democrats helping Bush cover up his crimes and failures?
Donate to bartcop.com?
Click to become a Corona volunteer for $10
a month
We've got to build a bigger hammer.
The illegal President Monkey in a Man Suit needs to be stopped.
Click Here to donate large.
Subject: A Simple Thank You
You guys are brilliant in my book, and you
not only aim straight between the eyes,
your wit is displayed on every page of
the site. I'm laughing so hard... only because it's true.
Hang in there and keep up the GREAT work!
- Zaine Ridling
Thanks, we will.
click
Click Here for today's Southwest Airlines Vegas specials
$39 one-way, to/from Phoenix
$39 one-way, to/from Reno/Tahoe
$58 one-way, to/from Salt Lake City
$39 one-way, to/from San Diego
From: Wishbonecutter
Subject: Clinton Rules!
NOT!
You poor misguided dolts! Charging
headlong into a Hitler-esque brainwashing.
The GOP will retake the senate, get a stronger
hold on the house, and
you will get loonier and loonier! I love
it! American people are waking
up to the cowardly tricks you girlie-boys
on the left use. I read through your site,
I think you nut jobs actually believe the
total ka-ka in it.
Keep up the good work! ;)
Your weakling hearts will insure a GOP
takeover!
Asta.....
J.D.
Dude, you up for a chat room debate?
I'll bet I can make you cry.
Lemme know,
bart
His Reply:
Sorry Dude, I dont spend alot of time playing
in chatrooms. I spend my time doing things
that have a positive effect on the country.
Creating jobs. Donating to charities, you know,
evil entrepreneurial type things that leftists
arent very good at. As far as making me cry,
if you are man enough to meet me face to
face, I'll buy the plane ticket to bring you here.
Just let me know. If not, don't bother replying
to this email untill after the elections this year,
then I will see if I can find your little
website again and either admit I was wrong about the
outcome of the races, or offer my advice
on things you can start doing to help ease your hatred for America.
J.D.
...in other words, like all the others, he's afraid.
He knows the Republicans have nothing but racist and bankrupt
ideas.
He knows he can't stand his ground in a live chat room debate.
He says he's too busy, but I'm sure it wouldn't take long at
all.
Besides, he had the time to write a snippy letter, but now he's
"too busy?"
Isn't everybody tired of me getting away with this?
Even you Bart fans - wouldn't you like to see me lose one?
Like Tiger Woods, don't I need some humbling?
How many years have I been waiting
for somebody to shut me up?
Isn't there one Republican, on the wide, wide internet who can
get in the ring?
I have an IQ of 64, and I'm smarter than every republican
in America?
Please, don't let me get away with this - not one more damn day.
Scour the chat rooms, search the newsgroups, locate a GOP webmaster.
Find me some ditto-monkey ass to kick in a live chat room debate.
Bush's
Gestapo,
putting their hands on this grandmother
because she dared to hold an anti-Bush sign.
Look at that son of a bitch!
Is that his billyclub in his hands?
Is he putting the choke hold on Grandma?
How dare she protest the appointed king!
...and the networks don't care.
...and the newspapers don't care.
...and the cable channels don't
care.
...the vulgar whores of talk
radio don't care.
...and the Democrats don't care, not even a little.
America needs a free press.
I wonder what it feels like to be rousted by Bush's Gestapo...
Let's hope we don't all find out.
So far, we've received two responses.
Doesn't anybody have an opinion?
and tell me what we're doing
wrong.
"Bart, I mostly like the page, but I
hate it when you......."
and tell me what we're doing
right.
"Bart, your page rocks, especially when
you.........."
I've been wondering what BIG games will be played the BIG weekend
we're in Vegas.
As far as pro football, we have the motherlode on September
29th.
Dallas
Cowboys at St Louis
I hate Dallas.
Hate them, hate them, hate them.
They make Tiger Woods seem like a good guy.
I'm going to bet heavily against those Texas criminals.
(Pop Quiz - How many Cowboys have been arrested for rape?
Hint: They hold the NFL record.)
One problem: Pro games start at 10 AM in Las Vegas.
So the morning after the BIG party, I'll grab a cab and run to
The
Venetian
and get my cash down on Kurt Warner, Marshall Faulk and Isaac
Bruuuuuuce.
click
BartFest2002 - Party at the Rio
Make your own hotel reservations.
BartFest tickets will be available until the night of the party.
Update
Well.... today is the 28th.
That means the BIG party starts a month
from today.
We have not heard any news, but this is
a gamble, and a gambler has to have FAITH.
I'll bet we hear something today, if not
real soon!
Check The
Rio web site.
Click on "Hot Deals,"and get a luxury suite for $139
on Fri/Sat and $59
Sun-Thurs.
.
Just 30 days away ...isn't
it exciting?
(Oh, Lord, please don't let me lose my
ass on this!)
September
28th - tickets
on sale!
If you're thinking you'll pass on this Fest
and make the next one, ...that may be a mistake.
Besides, if you don't come, the terrorists win, and we can't
have that.
Click Here to see Bart's 48 (so far) things to do in Vegas.
Click Here to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas
Talk to me!
Special bartcop.com Exclusive
Casino
Gambling: The Absolute Minimum
A primer on how to not lose your ass gambling at
the casinos
by George
Backus
Click Here for Installment One
Click Here for Installment Two
Click
Here for Installment Three 
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© 2002, bartcop.com
shrl
Heard at BartFest