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Before we name
more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan,
On a dark spring night, nine weeks behind schedule, the MNS Indestructible,
a Class C Submersible Deepswimmer, departs Sancrist Isle
with a crew of twenty and a callous disregard for the inevitable.
Armed with top secret devices, a band of intrepid gnome
explorers sets out on a legendary journey to... Read more
The first batch of stickers went out today.
There were more requests than would fit in my tiny PO Box.
The PO had to put a key in my box that opened a bigger box.
I'm feeling generous today; do you think I should
send chocolate covered or regular pretzels?
Do you think it would make the news if THOUSANDS of bags showed up?
Pam, great idea.
If thousands and thousands of pretzels showed up, you and I would know what that means.
But would the guy who's too stupid to chew be able to figure it out?
Secret Service got done wrestling
that evil pretzel to the ground it looked like this:
Subject: BartCop Sports
I noticed that
died quite a while ago.
I would be willing to help resurrect it, provided I could get a little help from others.
Let me know.
So, if anybody's interested in making a sports page fly,
contact John (not me) and we'll see what happens.
What would be perfect would be to set it up like
That is, if you do your own page and I just have to link to it.
If you're a sports person-type writer, with passion, contact John.
...and be prepared to be read by dozens.
Subject: Bush Got Slapped Around
The pretzel story is crap. They made it
some stupid story so that it would be more believable.
What probably happened is that Dubya got cold feet in front of his benefactor or someone similar.
To shut him up or to show him that he was simply a piece of shit or something like that
(insert your favorite gangster-type movie clip here), the big man backhanded Dubya.
Of course it left a mark that has to be explained...
This Just In...
Bush faints at White House; quickly recovers
Bush fainted in the White House after choking
on a pretzel while watching Miami blow Baltimore,
"He must've bet too much on Miami," White House physician Dr.Richard Tubb said.
The doctor, an Air Force colonel, said Bush quickly recovered and is doing well.
"He fainted due to a temporary decrease in heart rate brought on by swallowing a pretzel," said Tubb.
Tubbs said Bush suffered an abrasion on his left
cheek the size of a triple hickey
and a bruise on his lower lip, apparently from falling headfirst onto the floor from a couch.
Bush was watching the game alone since Kenny Boy
has become radioactive.
His wife, Pickles, was nearby, not paying any attention to him
Tubbs said Bush believes he was out only for a
few seconds because when he awoke,
his two dogs were sitting in the same position they were when he lost consciousness.
In Texas, that's considered empirical evidence.
Bush has executed men on less evidence than that.
"Our performance has never been stronger.
Our business model has never been more robust.
Enron Energy's growth has never been more certain.
We have the finest organization in American business today."
-- Bush's top bag man, Kenneth Lay, less than five moths ago.
...and those thousands of families didn't even get a kiss.
the Screamer made some sense
Swear to God, I saw it myself.
On Conan the other night, Chris Matthews said Bush is doing so
well with the public
in approval polls because he's a very simple man doing a very simple job.
"The bad guys hit us, and we're gonna
kill them in return," he said. (My paraphrase.)
"It's very simple, it's a job Dubya can do well."
due to poor upbringing and an absentee father
Somebody asked me to re-run this, and I lost the e-mail, but here it is.
This is a picture of Rude & Stupid on the Letterman show
during the campaign.
The lady in green is Maria Pope, one of Dave's producers and the "Survivor" presenter.
Notice what the rude Bush boy is doing.
He's using her stage clothes like disposal tissue paper to clean his eyeglasses.
Thank Koresh he didn't have to blow his damn nose, huh?
Dave talked about it, said the selfish lout (my words) didn't ask or
He just grabbed her clothing and wiped himself on it.
...and a minority of Americans actually voted for this sexist pig?
a college football coach has to resign for lying on his resume,
should a Commander & Chief resign for lying about his military service?
When George W. Bush joined the National Guard, he took a solemn
oath before God
that he would give himself to them for a certain period of time.
You see, there were no National Guard slots open, but since daddy protects little Junior,
daddy got a closed National Guard unit to find another cot for his boy, George.
But once he successfully ducked Vietnam, Slick George went missing.
You see this guy?
His name is Eddie Slovic.
He was the last guy before boy George to go missing and they shot him for deserting his post,
Of course, his family wasn't above the law like the Bush Family Evil Empire
so his rich daddy couldn't intervene and make him president over the will of the voters.
Could I get arrested for sending the president some pretzels?
Headline in the Sunday Tulsa World
But president's adviser says they weren't "close intimates"
It should be illegal for a newspaper to tell such blatant lies.
A thousand times we've heard "Money is the mother's milk of politics."
And whenever the unelected doofus needed a few hundred thousand,
he always remembered that Kenneth Lay has the tastiest teats in America.
The nerve of the Bush-controlled media, acting like, "...Kenneth who?"
If you don't regularly check the Project
60 updates, you must check this one.
When you get there, click on the link next to the "hot" button.
You'll get a great look at the early Bush Family Evil Empire,
and you'll find out that Prescott Bush's business partner was.....
David Friedrichs is doing a great job on this.
If you agree, why not send him a short note and say, "Attaboy, Dave!"
Shot of Chinaco for you, Dave.
If you didn't click on bartcop.com over the weekend, you missed two dyn-o-mite issues.
Volume 686 It's Good to be Crazy
Volume 687 Everything's Coming up Enron
Why does Traficant brag that he's "bulletproof?"
"Give me $800"
Excerpt, from americanmafia.com
Traficant accepted the Mob’s, money, agreed to protect their gambling rackets, and was elected Sheriff.
Then, on the afternoon of December 13, 1980, just weeks after Traficant’s election, Charlie the Crab
got a phone call from someone who asked to meet him at a local donut shop.
Who that person was, or what business they
had to transact is not known, but it is unlikely that a
Mob figure would agree to meet at a donut shop, an establishment frequented by members of law
enforcement, if he intended on engaging in something illegal. Indeed, at least one member of
law enforcement WAS there that day, a Mahoning County Sheriff’s Deputy, who reported
seeing Carabbia’s car parked outside the donut shop with the lights on and the doors locked. 24
Hours later the car was found abandoned
in Cleveland, the keys in the ignition.
Charlie the Crab has not been seen since.
Thanks to bikertrash for the story
How many shares of Enron stock did
multi-millionaire Tim Russert own,
and when was he told to sell those shares?
"I am the Central Scrutinizer
You stay away from Brother Tim.
He's a good man, and has been very valuable to us.
Brother Tim is a patriot and a team player.
Nothing but the facts...
Enron gave over $4,000,000
to the corrupt Bush Family Evil Empire
and they covered their tracks by giving just over one million to Democrats
Thanks to JQ for the graphic
Today's is jam-packed with good stuff.
Peace, Prosperity and no real scandals
War, Recession and Enron
Happy Birthday to...
Benedict Arnold (not Judas Maximus, the back-stabbing son of a
bitch - the real one)
Sydney Biddle Barrow, Mayflower Madame
Julian Bond, who said on SNL that light-skinned blacks were smarter than
dark-skinned blacks, upsetting a very confused Garrett Morris.
Faye Dunaway and Andy Rooney
Longtime bartcop.com contributor has a great page to visit.
Tons and tons of links you can use...
Thanks to Dave at AMPOL
Subject: Spencer Abraham Likely To Be 1st Fall Guy In Enron Probe
As the intensity picks up on the Enron Scandal,
look for the White House to offer up
Spencer Abraham, energy secretary, as a sacrificial lamb. Abraham was up to his eyeballs
in phone calls to and from Ken Lay last fall. Will Abraham's resignation be enough? I think not.
We need an independent federal prosecutor to do
a thorough investigation.
Thousands of Texas families were hurt by the biggest bankruptcy in the history of the world.
This is a 60 billion dollar scandal.
What did Bush know and when did he know it?
Do you think that Bush will eventually fire the soon to be named independent prosecutor?
Jim in Rochester, MI
Lying, traitorous, back-stabbing whore and Judas
"They ain't the greatest show on Earth for
-- Green Bay Packer Ahman Green, after that killer game with San Francisco yesterday.
Damn, did you see that game?
You know, it's too bad
never took off.
Football and baseball can really pack an emotional wallop, football, especially.
Games turn almost as much from "Big Mo," as the plays themselves. ..and it doesn't hurt that
Fox Sports is using the best song U2 ever did, Until the End of the World, as their theme music.
When Favre and the Packers got hot in the fourth quarter they
Madden mentioned something about "that spark in Favre's eyes."
But next Sunday - the Packers go to St Louis to take on the Rams.
This is great stuff!
This will probably be a better game than the Super Bowl.
The Packers are my third favorite team, after the Rams and whoever's playing Dallas.
But Bret, you're going to have to score a whole lot more
than 25 points to beat the Rams.
This game could approach breaking 100 points. It could get down to St Louis 48 and the Packers 45.
This is great stuff!
The only way this could be better is if I was watching the game in Las Vegas!
BartCop, when are you coming back?
BartCop, come to Las Vegas and check the new tequilas Mary's gotten in at the Hard Rock.
Hot BartCop.com Flashback
"Video recorders and television cause corruption in this society," said Mohammed Qalamuddin,
head of the Taliban's Religious Ministry. Qalamuddin said owners must get rid of their "temptations".
Then religious police, (not to be confused with Po' Kenny's sex police) will conduct spot searches and punish offenders.
In America, the Coathanger Coalition controls
Gosh, wouldn't it be fun if the religiously insane gained control of the White House, too?
If you like what's happening in Afganistan, Pakistan and Iran, vote GOFP this November.
It keeps getting better.
I got this link from Media Whores Online
Family paints pilot as being 'regular' teen
Bishop, who crashed a Cessna into a Tampa high-rise, was an honor roll student who liked
classical music, followed the stock market and once played saxophone in his school band.
He also belonged to the Young Republicans Club...
Things are getting better.
Suddenly, and without explanation, the truth is starting to come back in style.
The years-long honeymoon for Mr. Didn'twintheelection seems to be waning.
As a result, I'm declaring 2002 as the start of The BartCop Decade.
At the same time, I'm unleashing The BartCop Hex on President Rude and Stupid.
Hex on thee!
Hex on thee!
Hex on thee!
Not the BartCop Hex!!
Squirm, Smirk - The
BartCop Hex is on you.
Keep in mind, Tiger Woo has won one tournament since he fell victim to The BartCop Hex
and they used toi say he was the greatest golfer who ever lived.
The BartCop Decade is now officially underway.
They're going fast,
...only a few are left!
If you hurry, you can still get some bartcop.com stickers.
If you'd like some, send a self-addressed, stamped
envelope to PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155 and I'll send you some.
Gotta hurry, tho, because only a few hundred exist.
This sure-to-be valuable bartcop.com collectable can be yours.
If you want to include a pittance to help grow the hammer higher - that's
but you can get stickers without a donation. After all, this is not the Catholic Church.
There he goes again with another unfair attack on the Catholics...
If you attach the sticker to a fun place and send me a picture I'll run it, but be responsible.
Thanks to Kevin Alexander.
PayPal to firstname.lastname@example.org
POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
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