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Volume 687 - Everything's Coming up Enron

On a dark spring night, nine weeks behind schedule, the MNS Indestructible,
a Class C Submersible Deepswimmer, departs Sancrist Isle
with a crew of twenty and a callous disregard for the inevitable.
Armed with top secret devices, a band of intrepid gnome
explorers sets out on a legendary journey to... Read more

 Sunday - January 13, 2002                                                                    Online Shopping with Amazon.com (see below)

 Not much comedy in today's issue - yet, for some reason, I can't stop laughing. 


 "I think the Enron circumstances are very difficult. My impression
   is that Enron's business right now is Enron's business."
     -- Armey the foul-mouthed Dick, suggesting everybody butt out of the crimes
        committed by the Bush Family Evil Empire.

    ...meanwhile, Clinton's zipper was a constitutional crisis and "we needed to know all the facts"

 Alaska Court Rules on Concealed Gun
  Insane people have a right to carry guns?

  Click  Here

 Judge Natalie Finn took away Timothy Wagner's gun permit after he claimed someone
 had implanted a computer chip in his head and injected him with deadly chemicals.

 A state appeals court, though, ruled that Finn erred,
 saying Alaska's concealed-carry law does not allow
 general concerns about mental illness to play a role
 in deciding whether someone should have a gun.

 ...sorry, I fainted.

 I'm going to read that last sentence again.

 ...sorry, I fainted again.

 To quote Mel Brooks, ...our country's turning into shit.

 This is what happens when a religiously-insane man with a gun fetish is appointed the top cop.

 A hearty "thank you" to those gelding Democrats on the Senate Judiciary commitee
 for allowing a man they KNEW was insane to take over law enforcement in America.

 Remember Bush signing that law in Texas that enabled people to carry guns in church,
 carry guns in stadiums and even in the courthouse where children are taken from their
 parents and people's lives are destroyed with findings of guilt?

 That's not enough for a Weak & Stupid president and his logic-challenged attorney general.

 ...now they're giving guns to the insane!

 How much more are we going to take?
 Remember how great this country was before Scalia took away our right to vote?

From:  nettierosenstein@yahoo.com

Subject: Enron, Ashcroft, Andersen, The Whole Mess

I see news today that Andersen destroyed audit records relating to Enron.  If you don't remember who those
nice boys at Andersen are, they are the ones who got into so much trouble in June, when the SEC hit them
with the biggest civil penalty that the SEC had ever assessed.   That's what happens when the SEC has time
on its hands and isn't busy causing the Clinton recession anymore.  Then, in July, Mr. Ashcroft tried so hard
to help Andersen go straight.  He gave them a nice contract to audit the FBI, which we all know needs auditing.

And they knew in advance what they were supposed to find, so they could practice getting good audit results:
they were supposed to report that the taxpayers should get Mr. Ashcroft a new computer and a T1 line
so that he could read Bartcop while making sure that none of those girls on the internet are under 18.

Al Christians

"I am the Central Scrutinizer. We're going to
 open a file on this 'Al Christians' character.
 He's mocking me, he's mocking the president,
 he's mocking the government, too, so I'm going
 to open a file on this guy."

  Story from last July
 Andersen picked for FBI review

  Click  Here

 The Justice Department has selected Andersen to conduct a comprehensive
 review of the FBI, including its antiquated computer systems.


 You mean Ashcroft the religiously insane hired the same crooked auditors
 who destroyed files to protect Enron and Bush, to audit the FBI?
 And since Andersen audited the FBI, they're probably in a position to blackmail
 anyone who comes after them for the crimes they committed with Lay in Houston.

 Is there no end to the crooked shenanigans of the Bush Family Evil Empire?

 ...I'm sure the gelding Democrats will remain silent about all this,

 They always do...


 "I think we've demonstrated as a people that we don't think some form of socialism is the way to run a society,"
   I think it's really corrosive to have this argument about the rich and the poor."
    -- Paul O'Neill, Bush's bag man, who received $59 million in salary and perks last year.

   ...no wonder these heartless bastards can't win an election.

  Howard Fineman (R-Whore) finally finds time for some truth.

 A Change of Tone in Washington
 After months of laudatory coverage, the press is ready to sink
 its teeth into a Bush scandal. The Enron collapse is ready-made

  Click  Here

 But the Enron story has "legs," as they say, and here's why.
 For one, the scandal-selling machinery in Washington hums all the time,
 waiting for a new story line to sell. The media has been supernice to Bush
 since September 11 over his prosecution of the war, with considerable justification.

 But the media knows only two ways of dealing with presidents:
 it's either at their feet or at their throats.

 Howard, you've been sucking Bush's toes for two years.
 Don't pretend Septemeber 11th is when you guys started playing footsie
 with the dimwit representative of the Bush Family Evil Empire.

From: hardison@cfl.rr.com

Subject: CNN is biased

I have been watching the CNN reports on Enrongate all day today, and I am absolutely amazed
by the slanted reporting and outright lies.  The most stunning example is the most common:
"Both Democrats and Republicans accepted campaign contributions from Enron."

I'm sorry, WHAT?  Bush and the GOP accepted uncounted millions of dollars from Enron, while Gore
and a few Democrats received token $1,000 checks. While Bush flew around the country in Enron's private jet,
a number of Democrats quietly returned the pitiful checks from Enron, or donated them to charity.

I believe that if Bush were to kill Tom Daschle with a hunting rifle, cook him on the White House lawn,
and eat his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti, the lead story on CNN would be
"Bush popularity continues to soar, as Democrats engage in partisan attacks on the White House menu.

And the worst part was when CNN reported the White House reaction to the allegations of wrongdoing:
"That dog won't hunt."


That explains it.

The media will do ANYTHING, say ANYTHING to protect the unelected fraud.

But when the president was an duly-elected democrat, they told lie after lie
and printed every salacious rumor that Matt Drudge and Ann Coulter could fabricate.

...and despite all that, we have to hear day in and day out how slanted the media is to the left.

 Bush DOE Granted Enron Waiver of
 Securities and Liability Regulations
  Could an administration possibly be any more crooked that this one?

  Click  Here

 Maybe Bush was telling the truth when he said Lay never asked for any favors,
 because it was understood he was going to get them without asking.
 Lay didn't give the GOP $2,000,000 so he could be treated like just any polluter.

 Good Christ - the illegalities are coming in faster than I can type.


 Click on the screaming Usurperboy to read a great, great story at Media Whores Online.
 They've caught Bush lying his ass off, and they have him caught in a tractor's nuts.

 Hey - go figure!
 Medie Whores Online charges are backed up by the Dallas Morning Whore!
   Click  Here


 Medie Whores Online charges are backed up by the Houston Chronicle!
 Click  Here

From:  sieburth@astro.temple.edu

Subject: Lost Bush Quote

I thought I was dreaming on Monday when All Things Considered ran a tape of GWB saying:

"I know we will find a way to work out peace between the Indians and the Pakis."

Since Pakistan is our most important ally in his fight in Afghanistan,
....  Why not just call them towelheads or something?

ha ha

I cannot find anything in the press on this statement,  but I have talked to people that also heard the broadcast.
I just hate to see something this stupid swept under the rug by our 'liberal media establishment'.

Thanks for the great web site.


Scott, he said it, alright.
It's part of his "honor and dignity" pledge.

 Today's is jam-packed with good stuff.


 "Argentina today swore in its fifth president in two weeks. Their economy has basically
   collapsed, to the point of rioting in the streets. It is a mess. Apparently it all started when
   they gave this big tax cut to the rich right in the middle of a recession"
    --Bill Maher

From: (withheld)

Subject:  I borrowed your recession rant

The editorial page of my local (northern California) paper asked for
their Saturday forum how we think the nation's economy will do this year.
And on a lark, I wrote in and said that it looks pretty bad because Republican
presidents give us recessions, and then I gave the examples that you made
about the past 6 republican presidents.

I didn't think they would, but sure enough, they printed the letter!

Just wanted to give you a heads up in case someone wrote in and said
that there's this Kevin guy in California using your stuff.
(And if it's not okay, I won't do it again. I just thought that it
 was too good to not let thousands of people see it.)



ha ha

That's great, lemme know if anyone dares to send in a rebuttal.

Reminder: Anyone can steal anything they want.
You don't have to write and ask if it's OK.
You don't even have to mention  bartcop.com

BartCop-ism, slooooowly working its way into the mainstream
In another 30 years, we'll be known by three percent of Americans.

 Do me a favor:

 If you didn't check  bartcop.com  Saturday, you missed a good issue.
 As this Enron thing explodes, stories are coming in faster than I can copy & paste.

 For reasons I don't understand, the server hiccups when an issue is larger than 40K,
 so I wrote Sunday's issue Saturday. I'm working on Monday's issue Saturday nite.

 If you didn't read Saturday's issue  Click  Here

 Note: You will not be charged extra for the double issue.

 ...and be sure to check  bartcop.com  every day until Weak & Stupid is forced to resign.

 Things are moving at Monica speed, and Usurperboy is no Bill Clinton.

  I don't make up the news, I just report it
 Catholic Church Still Working Out How to Handle
 Cases of Priests Accused of Sexual Abuse

  Click  Here

 "I think the rules are a step backward and are more focused on the accused than on the victims
  and on more secrecy, which of course is the single factor that enables these things to occur,"
  said David Clohessy, national director of the Chicago-based Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests.

  Clohessy, whose brother is a priest, believes the same dynamic that prevents police from reporting
  wrongdoing by fellow officers keeps priests from exposing their colleagues.

 "The priesthood is a small, shrinking, beleaguered, misunderstood club of men whose primary
  support system is one another," said Clohessy, who was abused when he was a boy.

 Happy Birthday to...

        Traci Bingham is 31                     Nicole Eggert is 30

 Anna Marie Goddard is 32            Julia Louis-Dreyfus is 41

 Also born today, the Cigarette smoking man (not Bill Bennett, the guy on the X-Files)
 Patrick Dempsey, "Bull" from Night Court, Charles Nelson Reilly - who's still alive
 Robert "Elliot Ness" Stack , Brandon Tartikoff, Rip Taylor, Sophie Tucker and
 MASH stripper Gwen Verdon

 Enron Contributions to Bush

  Click  Here

 President Bush has received more money from Enron, its employees and their relatives over his
 political career than from any other source. The contributions supported Bush's unsuccessful
 House campaign in 1978, his two campaigns for Texas governor, renovation of his governor's office,
 last year's presidential race, his inaugurations and his presidential recount fund.

 If you heard the vulgar Pigboy Friday, you know he spent the whole three hours cackling with glee.
 He was giggling at the "certainty" that when congress investigates Enron, it will discover that
 Enron was in bed with the Democrats, not Bush, and he kept giggling about how much he was
 looking forward to these Enron hearings.

 Hey, Rush - me fucking too!!

 ha ha

 I can't explain why, (maybe Mr. Rove's fax machine is broken) but the whore media never got
 the memo that said, "Blame the Democrats for all of Enron's troubles," so the blame seems
 to be headed Bush's way, as every fair-minded person in the world knows it should.

We need to investigate Enron ties to government
 Editorial by Dan brown

 Click  Here

 Enron executives have disclosed that they met with the Bush administration just one day before
 the administration determined not to assist California in its Enron-created energy crisis, by not
 imposing price caps and allowing Enron to further gouge Californian energy consumers.

 Think back - how many times did the GOP and the GOP-controlled media say that the
 Clinton administration was "the most corrupt administration ever."

 Clinton's "crimes" consisted of having an eye for the ladies.
 The crimes of the Bush Family Evil Empire are sinister, global and totally ruthless.

 Ask the families of the dead Barrick Miners what happens when you ask the
 Bush Family Evil Empire to deal with you in a fair and equitable manner.

 ...and this Evil Empire has the power of America's military and the US Treasury
 backing them up and the son of a bitch didn't even win the election.

 ...and the gelding Democrats are lobotomy-happy about it, too.

"Funnyboy, you're  soooo  not going to see the end of this year.
 We're going to enjoy putting your treasonous ass before a
 secret military tribunal.  I'm going to tape your secret execution,
 and play it for other smart-ass internet troublemakers.
 Yeah, your time is coming, Funnyboy."

   Great article!
 The winter games at Enron
  Click  Here

 The Justice Department recently announced the formation of a "task force" to investigate
 the blizzard of crimes allegedly committed by Enron, the giant energy trading company
 with strong ties to both Dick Cheney and George W. Bush.

 I am putting up $100 right here, payable to Doctors Without Borders;
 I am betting that not a single Enron executive will spend a day in jail.
 Not one, not ever.

 Well, that goes without saying.
 The Bush Family Evil Empire has a history of using pardons to cover their global crimes.

 They're going fast,
 ...only a few days left!

They have an adhesive back, so they'll stick on stuff. If you'd like some, send a self-addressed, stamped
envelope to PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155 and I'll send you 5 or 10, whatever you need.

Gotta hurry, tho, because only a few hundred exist.
This sure-to-be valuable  bartcop.com  collectable can be yours.

If you want to include a pittance to help grow the hammer higher - that's OK
but you can get stickers without a donation.  After all, this is not the Catholic Church.
There he goes again with another unfair attack on the Catholics...

If you attach the sticker to a fun place and send me a picture I'll run it, but be responsible.

Thanks to Kevin Alexander.

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
   PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
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