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Before we name
more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan,
CIA believes Bin Laden Escaped In Early December
Or was it all part of the plan?
Remember that cease-fire they had a loooong time ago in Kandahar?
Witnesses reported 25 or 30 planes left Kandahar airport in that 48 hour period.
These weren't our planes - we didn't have Kandahar yet.
The military denies it, so maybe all those eyewitnesses were lying?
Did Bush give his partner, the man who brought his approval to 90 percent, a pass?
"...because 'Hootie and the Blowfish'
was already taken."
-- wise-cracking Shirley Manson, when asked how they
ended up with Garbage for their band's name
warned chairman Lay
by Marcy Gordon
"I am incredibly nervous that we will implode in a wave of accounting scandals,"
the employee told Lay in a letter. A "veil of secrecy" surrounded Enron's partnerships,
which were keeping huge amounts of Enron debt off the company's books, she said.
"It sure looks to the layman on the street that we are hiding losses..."
Slut Named Laura
No need for an excerpt - it's all good.
Good work, Marty!!
"I was with Nelson Mandela in South Africa.
It's a head trip living in the majority.
It feels great to be in a country where if I'm fighting with Michael Mann,
when the police come, they're going to shoot him."
-- Will Smith, talking about his white Ali director
Remember when Clinton had a red mark on his face?
Rush guaranteed his flock of seagulls that Hillary threw a lamp
and that's what caused the red mark - and his flock believed every work of it.
Years later, Smirky regularly has crap on his face, and instead
of assigning the wildest of theories,
they try to sell us the story that he "fainted" (as opposed to passed out, which reminds the world
he's a problem drinker) after forgetting to chew his pretzel while he was all alone with his dogs.
...and his flock believes every work of it.
I wonder what the truth is?
Bush is Pissed at Kenneth Lay
by Bart Cop
Subject: Pretzel = Bartcop Hex
Nice work, the Bartcop Hex is working already!
Something you and the media are missing: let's have a look at Bush's "blind trust"
to see when he sold off his shares of Enron.
Remember, he would have been convicted of insider
trading before if his daddy hadn't saved him
How can we find that out?
We have a winner!
Finally, I get to give away a CD and some fine, luxury chocolate.
This is the rant I've been looking for.
It was waaaaay back in Volume 144 - The Softer Side of Sears.
"Another BartCop Prediction. ...brbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrbrb... Ready?
The week ...or the month ...or the half-year
after the Democrats leave office,
the market will dive like Lloyd Bridges. When Clinton leaves, if Gore loses, the party ends.
The stock market will drop like a safe
abortions will increase,
murders will rise,
inflation will go fucking crazy,
interest rates will go to 14,
housing starts will plummet,
unemployment will go to 16 percent,
minority unemployment will skyrocket,
Iran and North Korea will co-rattle.
Antarctica splits in half... yes, ... all right after the Simians take office.
Do me a favor - print this section. America
will take a BIG hit right after Clinton-Gore leave.
Granted, "right after" isn't micro-surgery, but if it happens a year later, I won't say that's "right after."
This is a chance for you ditto-monkeys to catch me,"
OK, so I was wrong about inflation and interest rates, but nobody
can deny that
America took a big hit right after the Democrats got screwed out of their victory.
Pliplup@aol.com is the big winner.
If someone else came up with Volume 144, and published it on the BartCop Forum,
send me the URL and you'll get the second pick of CDs.
Pliplup, I need your address, and which CD you want.
Garbage, Dylan, Aerosmith or Janet Jackson, the latest of each.
One-liners by Rude Rich
Dubya looks worse after a battle with a petzel
than bin Laden does after months of intense bombing.
Subject: You have the COOLEST website!!
Thank you, thank you a million times thank you!!
For the past year I thought I was the only one
who felt this way.
The media are treating weak and stupid like he was legitimately elected
and every time I see him I just want to puke!!
I have always believed that the Bush Evil Empire
were a bunch of crooks
and the fixed election just proved it.
I'm so glad I ran across your site. It's
now in my favorites!!
Keep up the good work!!
I love sending myself fake e-mails.
One-liners by Rude Rich
I hear Pickles is going to chew Dubya's food for him
and spit it into his mouth from now on.
Quentin Tarantino guest starring on ALIAS this Sunday?
I'm there, Dude.
Subject: Ever heard of Erin Hart?
This is a call in radio show on Sunday nights
9pm to 1am Pacific Time on KIRO in Seattle.
www.710kiro.com. She tears the Republicans apart.
Judging from the way she talks she MUST be reading
She knows her stuff AND she knows how to debate.
I keep expecting her to say horseshit at any moment.
You can listen to her online if you can stay up
late enough in your time zone.
Maybe she can give you some hints on how to get, at least, a weekly show.
You can probably find her email address at www.710kiro.com.
Sure, I've seen her on
Subject: PETA - yes, that was silly
Although I have many friends in PETA I agree their
statement was silly, and just plain wrong.
We should acknowledge that - they're doing what I call "vaporing."
But I hope it doesn't drag on.
PETA is, among other things, for supermodels and actresses what Skull N Bones is for evil, elitist politicians.
That was well-crafted.
A lot of the PETA-ite models and actresses have
supported the Dems every time, too.
So I don't criticize PETA *too much* for the same reason I don't hassle the Bush twins.
I just hate the thought of being in the "attack the cute girls" faction.
It must be painful having a conscience...
I have gotten a lot more people into being a vegetarian
by always being willing to cook good meals
for my friends than PETA will recruit with their antics, though.
Marion Delgado, ...ladies and gentlemen, ...of the Paine &
Supheren Law Firm
that sometimes offers bartcop.com legal advice.
If you screw with bartcop.com - be assured you have Paine & Supheren in your future.
If anybody is interested in making
contact John Cole (not me) and we'll see what happens
Right after the Super Bowl we'll have the Olympics.
Right after the Olympics, we have March Madness,
which I don't care about, but I know some people do...
Subject: I know nothink
If it's even partially true (no way in Hell) that
no one in the administration, most of whom are
former Enron execs, or board members, and many of whom were among the ones to cash out
their Enron stocks before the collapse, TOLD THE pRESIDENT of the impending financial disaster,
which has taken on Biblical proportions.....
What does it say about an administration willing
to keep their boss IN THE DARK?
Hey, remember when Cheney had heart attack 4? Or was it 5?
I saw Karen Hughes admit they sent W out to talk to the cameras
and they intentionally didn't give him the details until after he was done.
It's always a mistake to let the weakest link know what's going on
You know what would be cool?
What would be cool, is after 688 issues, I wasn't labeled,
"Enemy of minorities."
but this fireman-raising-the-flag at the WTC memorial statue having a black and Hispanic helping out?
I'm sorry, but it was three white guys.
We can stamp and spit & shout, but it was what it was.
If someone created a commission to honor those who pitched in,
I would fight for a black guy and a Hispanic guy to be in the commission's memorial.
But since three white guys were there when the photographer snapped the picture,
we'd be just LYING to say a balanced coalition of people raised that flag.
This is the kind of issue that Rush, Hannity, Laura-the-panty-dropper
and Fox Whore News will run
into the ground until the year 2100 unless we say right here and riught now that was a dumb idea.
Maybe our luck would be better if we quit hanging ouselves?
The next time some nutcase liberal puts the crucifix in urine,
I will be more out-front on the issue than the vulgar Pigboy, Giuliani or Hannity.
Can't we agree not to die on the Christ-urine hill?
I can't believe the Democrats are so desperate for competent leaders
that IQ-of-64 comedy boy is considered a "party elder" when it comes to strategery.
The pretzel story is out with too much detail
and the lies are already creeping out.
Last night Dubya was reported to have said that he knew that he was only out
a couple of seconds because his dogs weren't looking at him funny.
That's Manna from Heaven,
....well today he said he looked up and saw "concern"
on the faces of 'Buster and Spot'
(maybe those are just code names for secret service, but I don't think so)...it's got to be a cover-up.
Here are two more-likely scenarios:
1) Dubya has fallen off the wagon.
What do guys do when watching a game?
Chips and beer. Stumbling drunk is another way to get your face messed up.
2) Unca Dick is tired of being in the bunker and there was hell to pay last night!
Thanks for a great site...keep fighting the fight.
We know we're being lied to.
They didn't steal the goddamn election so they could be honest with us.
I was this close to being president
One-liners by Rude Rich
How much does your dog hate you when you fall to the floor and
the dog doesn't move?
If he was out a few more minutes, the dog would have started chewing on his leg.
Subject: Insight on the News
Several days ago the Moron in the White House
did away with restrictions on companies vying for
government contracts. One of the restrictions centered around the company being involved in "illegal activity."
DynCorps is one such company being used by the Bushistas in Colombia; technically, they qualify as "mercenaries."
There is no Congressional oversight since they
are 'civilian contractors.'
Check out what the company and its employees are involved in where Bosnia is concerned.
This outfit is out of Reston, Virginia and several
months ago hired a large contingent of 'former' SEALs;
they are operating in Colombia.
Let's do the Time Warp again!
Last night, I had me a shot of Chinaco Anejo luxury tequila...
It was finer than the hair on Josie Maran's upper lip.
you talk about 9-11,
you should know what others are saying...
One-liners by Rude Rich
Pickles smacked him when she found out the Enron stock
he gave her for Christmas was worthless.
Subject: On pretzels and rabbits
Have you ever known anyone to choke and/or faint
on a pretzel? I haven't.
The only reason Hughes and that other Bush toady went w/the pretzel story was because his very visible
head wound (good grief~! the last place one would want Bonsai to sustain injury) will take a good couple
of weeks to heal, and it would be a stretch to have both P and VP engaged in an extended disappearing act.
Let's face it: our "esteemed" pResident
was drunk and fell. He's getting
raked over the coals
by those in the media with half a brain to see through his ruse, so who wouldn't drink?
Soon he'll be forced to exit someone in his cabinet to stave off the Enron sleuths.
And that had better be just the beginning of his problems.
With websites like yours, Buzzflash and Mediawhores
applying the pressure,
and constituents/readers calling and writing, I think we can make history together. <s>
I'll send you a few bucks to help things along.
The amount is based roughly on what a year's worth
of Time and Newsweek subscriptions would have cost me if I were ever crazy enough to buy from them.
Keep up the great work. You're an excellent writer.
Btw, Wurzburg is wine country...no chinaco...but
the Silvaner Trochen can't be beat.
If you and your wife are ever in town, give me a buzz!
All the best,
Tom in Chelsea,
Great letter, and yes, there are a couple of stickers left,
but you didn't send your address.
BTW, I sent out a whoooole lotta stickers again today.
I should've asked people to send self-sticking envelopes.
My tongue is as sore as Ann Coulter's.
One-liners by Rude Rich
How dull are you when you have to watch football games alone?
"The White House says President Bush meant
"no offense" when he referred to Pakistanis as 'Pakis.'
But just to play it safe, they are cancelling the president's upcoming trip to NIGERIA."
--the fantastic Tina Fey
"I am the Central Scrutinizer
Open a file on this 'Tina Fey' character.
Hmmmm. Fey, ...Fey, ...sounds Chineze to me.
So, ...BartCop's in bed with some Chop Sueys, is he?"
Today's is jam-packed with good stuff.
Happy Birthday to...
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. would've been 73 today,
but people who voted for Bush put bullets in him, instead.
Thanks to Dave at AMPOL
Not the BartCop Hex!!
They're going fast,
...only a few are left!
If you hurry, you can still get some bartcop.com stickers.
If you'd like some, send a self-addressed, stamped
envelope to PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155 and I'll send you some.
Gotta hurry, tho, because only a few hundred exist.
This sure-to-be valuable bartcop.com collectable can be yours.
If you want to include a pittance to help grow the hammer higher - that's
but you can get stickers without a donation. After all, this is not the Catholic Church.
There he goes again with another unfair attack on the Catholics...
If you attach the sticker to a fun place and send me a picture I'll run it, but be responsible.
Thanks to Kevin Alexander.
PayPal to email@example.com
POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.
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