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Volume 851 - Flamingo Road 


 Friday   July 26, 2002.................................................................................. 
 After 3 years, Yahoo says there is no BartCop mail box, so don't send anything there until they
 manage to locate the damn thing.  Send everything to except business mail.
 That goes to and if it's "must see" send it to Christian at


"President Bush recently signed a bill making Yucca Mountain the national dumping site
  for radioactive waste. It's about 70 miles north of Las Vegas. Tons of nuclear waste will
  be buried there. Yucca Mountain is close to the Mustang Ranch brothel. How does that
  sound, radioactive hookers! You'll definitely catch something!
  -- Leno

 Cocaine Cited in Entwistle's Death

  Click Here


 President doesn't have absolute military authority over Americans

  Click  Here

"No citizen shall be imprisoned or otherwise detained by the United States except pursuant
 to an Act of Congress.  Congress passed this law in 1971 in response to concerns the executive
 branch could overstep its authority during a national  emergency and hold, without charge,
 Americans deemed dangerous or disloyal.

 So why are two Americans in that very predicament today?"

 Oklahoma Football Scandal
  The whole state is shocked.

 I don't have all the details, but three Oklahoma football players were arrested
 for "alcohol-related" crimes Wednesday night, probably in Norman. From what I
 know so far, the three were in a car, and the driver was clocked going 30 in a 25 MPH zone!

 Swear to Koresh!
 This is not a BartCop gag!

 But hold on, it gets worse.

 The driver was tested and was found to have a blood alcohol content of ......03!
 Do you know how serious that is?
 Had he been four times drunker, he would've been charged with driving while intoxicated.
 Oklahoma hasn't seen a scandal of this magnatude since the Switzer glory days.

 Will Coach Bob Stoops keep his job?
 Are there other, undiscovered felons on the team, too?



"From the first Nike commercial, they sold us on the idea that
  Tiger Woods was Jackie Robinson with golf clubs. Now it turns out
  that he doesn't have an opinion unless he's getting paid for it."
      -- ESPN's Sal Paolantonio

Subject: Poll numbers on the slide - START A WAR...

You know what is coming next. When the poll numbers slide, start a war.
Look out Iraq. It won't be long now before Bush starts beating the WAR DRUMS.
He may be Dumb as Hell, but he knows America loves a good war.
You know his Daddy is advising him. Also Daddy left the job unfinished.
And is advising Monkey Boy to go forward and kick ass. You know he is telling him.
"Your poll numbers will go up and what's a few 100 thousand lives on both sides."

Am I in trouble?
I'm not a one-termer
like my loser daddy... I?

"Bush Let 9/11 Happen" Says Gulf War Veteran
        saw it on

   Click  Here

 A brave Air Force veteran is making his stand as an American, but the Bush administration is
 trying to silence him. As Congress begins its clandestine investigation into the catastrophe of 9/11,
 few voices dare to speak truth to power.  This is no “conspiracy theory” or obscure source.

 The AP, CNN, the New York Times and others are reporting:
 “An Air Force colonel has been suspended for writing a letter in which he called
 President Bush 'a joke' and accused him of allowing the Sept. 11 attacks.”

 Christian Livemore, the brains behind  and the architect
 of the wildly successful Juliefest2002-DC was no fan of flying before 9-11.
 She currently lives on the East Coast, which means she has quite a drive to Vegas.

 I told her a fifth of cheap vodka would work as a courage enhancer, but she's not having
 any of that, so she's going to get her kicks on Route 66, America's Mother Road.

 Why do I bring this up?
 I've heard mummurs, maybe you have, too, that  is just for the elite.
 This may surprise you, but I have an answer to that.
 If you say  is only for the elite, because we all can't afford to go,
 couldn't one logically extrapolate from that, that  is an "elitist web site,"
 because not everyone can afford a personal computer in their home?

 So if there shouldn't be a  maybe there shouldn't be a
 See how crazy that sounds?

 Sure, if you have kids or can't get time off work, that's understandable.
 (Suggestion: Throw the kids in the car, but leave them at Kingman Day Care
 Vegas is no place for small children - they might be forever corrupted.)
 but if one really wanted to go to Vegas, one could probably find a way.

 Example:  (all calculations are rough)
 Four people get into a car in St Louis - that's 1600 miles one way.
 Getting 20 MPG, that's 160 gallons round trip, with each gallon costing $1.50,
 it comes out to $40 per person for the most memorable trip/week you ever had.

 The fresh air - the majestic mountains!

 When you get to Vegas, Lady Luck weekend rooms are $55, or $85 for 4 people.
  So - a ticket is $75, gas is $40 and hotel is $25 per person per night.
 You sleep at Tucumcari, NM (stay at the Blue Swallow) each way for $35 divided by 4.

 The way I figure it, a five-hotel, three night stay in Vegas comes to about $230.
 Check my math, because I'm Catholic, but are you sure you can't afford to go?
 Chicago, Cleveland and Nantucket would cost a little more,
 but Denver, Dallas and Portland would cost a little less.
 You will never forget this weekend in Fabulous Las Vegas!

 For those considering going to there is a posting board to share information,
 car pooling, room sharing etc at The BartCop Forum.

 Look for "Events"


Subject: Enjoy this quote from Salon

 I know you hate Salon, but this quote from yesterdays article
 was just a little to choice not to pass onto you:

> It is true that the stock market is not the economy. It is also obvious that much
> of the corporate malfeasance that is currently being laid bare before a disgusted
> public began occurring long before Bush became president. But such caveats are
> becoming less and less helpful to the current administration, as each new revelation
> of accounting fraud and each new slump in the Dow slam into their predecessors
> like so many freight cars piling up against a suddenly stalled locomotive.
> At some point, one has to stop blaming the train wreck on the previous conductor.

 Actually, I don't hate Salon.
 They employ one of the web's best writers, smoking Joe Conason, and some other good writers,
 and I'll admit it's possible they were hook-winked by the devious and clumsy liar Jennifer Liberto.

 Hi, I'm Jennifer Liberto and
 I'll do anything for a story...

 True, I was disappointed in David Talbot's reply to my too-blistering-to-print-here e-mail.
 If I was Talbot and received the letter I sent, I think my first reaction would be,
 "About what can this crazy man be so upset? We plugged his struggling,
   underdog web page, and he repays us with an e-mail like this?"

 I think a real journalist would've wondered what the story behind the outrage was
 but Talbot chose to call me a "mysogynist" and suggested I "clean up my act."
(Good work, Dave.) so The BartCop Hex had to be thrown at them.

 I wonder what Dave will do when they fold?
 Maybe Wendy's is hiring?

 The US intends to block a UN vote on a plan
 to enforce an international convention on torture

   Click  Here

 US qualms about the convention are said to focus on language which could be
 interpreted as allowing independent observers to visit US prisons and terrorism
 suspects being held by the US at its naval base at Guantanamo Bay.

 What is America so afraid of?
 Why can't the B.F.E.E. allow neutral observers?
 Iraq did, when they held our pilots in the Gulf War.
 North Vietnam did when they were holding John McCain.
 Why kinds of torture are those religious crazies going thru?

 George Bush doesn't have as much honor as Iraq or North Vietnam?
 What's up with that?   America is being raped - hook, line and sphincter.

 I can arrange a personal tour
 of Gitmo for you, Funnyboy.
 Just keep it up - you'll get a
 good look at those conditions...

 A Time to 'Earn This'
    by Robert Parry      August 9, 2001

  Click  Here

 While individuals have shown spunk in creating aggressive new outlets, such as and, the Web sites remain a proverbial
 drop in the bucket when compared to the size and sophistication of the conservative effort.

 Wealthy liberals mostly have stayed on the sidelines. After the election, Barbra Streisand
 issued a manifesto calling for a Democratic-oriented TV outlet to counter the conservative media.

 That sounds like BartCop TV.
 Anyone know Streisand's phone number or e-mail?
 If she'd agree to fund BartCop TV, I'd let her sing at BartFest

 Subject: Book right away - fares are down

 I'm flying R/T St. Louis to Las Vegas Friday for a mere $109.00!

 Using Worry Free Vacations Air Only package and booked the Tropicana
 for $79 Fri-Sat and $45  Sun-Mon. These air only vacation packages are great!

 Kinda cramped confines for the 3 hour flight, but at $109...who cares!

 I forgot to mention

 They fly selected cities to Las Vegas and Cancun.  If you like to gamble on airfares,
 you might get this $109 round trip fare, but you won't get it until the Thursday before the gig.

 I just went there and saw this:

 "Each week we feature $49 airfare with a hotel purchase from at least one of our origin cities."

 This week, they're doing $49 from Detroit and St Louis.

 Check their website, then check it again for last-minute deals as the date gets closer.
 If they have room on the plane, they let you fly extra-cheap.

  Joe Conason Interview on Buzzflash

   Click  Here

  It's good stuff.

 My Tithe Will Go Elsewhere

 As a lifelong Catholic, I was shocked, then hurt and finally disgusted
 to learn that we parishioners who dutifully drop coins and bills into the
 collection basket every Sunday were basically enabling pedophiles to
 continue to shatter young lives (Sacrament of Lies, April 17).

 If the Pope wishes to get a part-time job to fund damage suits and counseling
 for victims and priests, then fine, but until that happens, I shall hand over my
 hard-earned 10 percent to worthy causes instead of potentially criminal activities.

 E. Johnson

Subject: How do we know when you are serious?


You ripped on fruitbat for not understanding your joke with the Pink Floyd lyrics.
How is anyone supposed to know when you are joking?
Is it only when you make threats of violence and assasination?

So fruitbat didn't get the joke. You must understand, anyone who is a burnout loser
from the 70's or hangs out within the BartCop circle would know that it so,
but not the rest of us who have jobs.

Fake Name

Dear Fake,
I've been waiting years for somebody to ask that question.
If you can't tell the jokes from the real stuff, you're not paying attention.

If you read, "Ashcroft called for the lynching of black men in Alabama,"
you have to decide if he really did that or if it's a BartCop gag.
(In that case, he really did.)

If you read something on MWO or Buzzflash, you know it's true,
but on this site, you have to do the work yourself - you have to think about it.

Do you have trouble thinking about things?

Besides, Pink Floyd's The Wall is hardly some obscure album.
Maybe next time I should quote John Denver lyrics so you'd recognize it?

from Wizard of Whimsy

  Another little story to stoke that Vegas Fever
 Vegas Trip Report
 (saw it on the  newsgroup)

 Click  Here

 I personally love staying at the Rio since I have such good access to I-15.
 I can get to other strip properties or downtown faster than most people staying on the strip.
 Rooms continue to be in the top 3 in Vegas, behind only the Venetian and some Bellagio rooms.
 Very large, with in room safes and refrigerators.

 Today's Hot July Bonus Issue

  Click  Here

  Includes some spectacular Monkey Mail

 Mail Bag


 The reports we see in the american papers are, in a word, pathetic.
 Relying upon them, one might think that Operation Anaconda was
 a resounding success and that lasting peace in Afghanistan is just a
 few weeks away;  The british press tells us that Anaconda was a
 complete and utter goat-fuck; discounting their grumpiness over
 having squandered the empire, we may reasonably conclude that
 pacification works as well in south-west Asia as well as it did in
 south-east Asia forty years ago.

 Which is to ignore all the other idiocies of the Smirking Chimp,
 but there are only so many hours in one day.


 We may be forced to endure 6 more years of never-elected,
 so I think it's important to remember to have a good time.
 Me? I have a good time every day, but I always have a great time in Vegas.
 Did you know Las Vegas means "tasty agave" in Spanish?

 Southwest Airlines has $95 fares to Las Vegas

 BartFest2002 - Party of the Year

 Make your own hotel reservations.

 Reminder: Las Vegas is NOT  Hollywood Boulevard.
 Update: Mary at the Pink Taco says she has new strands of luxury tequila.

 Big News: Nothing yet, but, what if we handled this like a democracy?

 The pool of Democratic heroes has been cut short by Republican gunfire...
 We can't invite President Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy or Martin Luther King,
 (Can you imagine MLK at BartFest?)

 So, if we don't count the top-shelf Democratic attendees at Juliefest-DC,
 who's the Democratic heroe you'd most like to have a conversation with?
 Who would you like to see at BartFest in Las Vegas??

 Let's vote, in alphabetical order:
 (PS. We're not going to get either Clinton, so don't waste your vote)

 Paul Begala

 Al Gore

 Ted Kennedy

 Joe Lieberman

 Gene Lyons

 Susan McDougal

 Who else?

 Other: __________

 Vote here --->  and put your answer in the subject box, OK?
 Comments are welcome, as are other suggestions you may have.

 Also, vote for TWO people.
 This is a PARTY!

 September 28th -  tickets on sale!

 People are coming from as far as Uranus to attend BartFest.


 You've read what people said about our first gathering.
 We intend to top that in Sin City come September.

 Click  Here  to see Bart's 36 (so far) things to do in Vegas.

 Click  Here  to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas

 18 days from today...The Rio will ask "How many?"
 The party's on either way, but we have to know how big a room to buy.
 If we only get sixty people, maybe we'll rent ten limos & party on the go!

 Is it wise to support

 The $17 figure was suggested as a reasonable monthly amount.
 That's 54 cents a day.    Is  worth 54 cents a day?

 Click to subscribe for $17 a month.

 Can I say one more thing?

 We're in the third month of matching funds.
 A man who wants to remain anonymous is matching all new subscriptions up to a total of $500.
 Just today, I got a $50 Chinaco Anejo subscription from a John F, that means a net gain of $100.

 That's a great deal towards making the Pie Higher, so if you like the message on this page,
 consider tossing a few pesos this way if you'd like to see what can be done with a larger hammer.

 They read it in Baden-Baden, while they drink that fabulous German beer.
 They read it in Aarhus, Danmark before they fire off hot e-mails.
 They read it in Weidecker, Vermont, where the maple syrup is to die for.

BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
 BartCop, ...BartCop...

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