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"When faced with stress, scandal and opposition,
Bush family members don't like it.
They wind up vomiting on the laps of Japanese officials,
or having bruising Pretzel-gate fainting spells.
...and starting wars."
-Larry Chin, Counterpunch.org
sapped '90s econ gains
by Joel Siegel
"If all of the arrows that were pointing up are now pointing down, and those that were
headed down are going back up, blame cannot and should not be placed at the feet of those
who led our nation during one of the greatest periods of prosperity and progress in our nation."
of them are perfectly nice
by smoking Joe Conason as seen on Salon.com
GOP adman Larry McCarthy’s quip about a certain famous killer irked several readers.
"Someone should remind McCarthy that Ted Bundy didn't look like a young Republican
--Ted Bundy was a young Republican," wrote one. "He worked for the Washington State
Republican Party in the early 1970's: serial murderer and sexual predator were his nighttime gigs.
"I don’t understand why they left THIS
out of the TV movie. Don’t forget clean-cut Ted when some
right-wing windbag brings up the liberal environment that supposedly spawned John Walker Lindh.
Hush Money for Halliburton?
"The Bush administration figured this would be a good time to award Halliburton Corp. a new defense contract.
A controversial Halliburton subsidiary was granted the contract to build additional high-security housing for
terrorist suspects being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The $9.7 million contract was given to Halliburton
construction subsidiary, Brown & Root Services. Both the timing and circumstances surrounding the
choice of Brown & Root are raising eyebrows."
Remember when the ditto-monkey congress squealed like stuck little
piggies when they thought
Clinton might've committed the crime of the century by trying to get Monica a job?
They squealed and squealed.like they were auditioning for a role in Deliverance.
But now that Smirk n' Dick are throwing $100 million at Cheney's
corrupt company, we're
supposed to shut up and ignore it because - you guessed it - we'd be helping bin Laden again.
But I need my secret torture chamber!
I need to torture God into the heathens.
If you try to stop me, I'll torture you, too
"This administration is all blame and
no game plan."
-- Hillary, who's sounding almost like a candidate for something
Subject: Your stupidity
Give us a break with your Clinton adoration.
Clinton was only the pResident for 8 years in the White House.
He got help.
If you hyphenate the name it is closer to being accurate. Clinton-Perot presidency.
Is that the way the game is played?
Well, since Bush beat Dukakis in 1988 by using the mantra "Willie
Horton will rape your daughter,"
that'd make the elected Bush presidency the Bush-Horton presidency, right?
You sheep are so much fun to tease.
Clinton would not be known by anybody today if
it wasn't for that little piece
of Texas dung and all those millions of votes he stole from Bush 41.
Whine if you must, but Clinton didn't steal anything, unlike the dim-witted, Unelected Fraud
Your idiotic statement that Clinton did
not lose a soldier in 8 years ignores deaths in Somalia
and Kosovo as a result of our being there.
We didn't lose any men in battle in Kosovo.
What are you, ...stupid?
Who told you we did, Rush or Hannity?
And Bush is responsibile for Somalia.
What it points out is how gutless he was
in stopping despots and terrorists.
Or, maybe he is in business with terrorists and communists? Hmmmmm?
Considering who's in the White House, do you really want to trade charges of
who did the most buisiness with terrorists?
Is this your first attempt at debate?
Noriega, Osama, Hitler, and Saddam have all traded with the B.F.E.E.
None of them did any business with the Clinton Crime Family because there isn't one.
Your website is the stupidest form of Liberal
nonsense I have ever seen.
Anyone who believes your banal rages is and uneducated idiot!
Thank you for reading bartcop.com
We realize you have a choice when surfing interesting web sites.
Thank you for choosing bartcop.com
Tell Gene Lyons he can kiss my anti-Communist
What a rotten, lying writer that hack is.
Yer fuct now, Dude!
Why can't I get a ditto-monkey to take me up on the Gene Lyons Challenge?
Gene has maybe 80 columns on bartcop.com
Find me one sentence where he wrote something that wasn't true.
C'mon, ...punk, ...do you feel lucky?.
by Paul Krugman
The only reason Tennessee doesn't look like Argentina right now is that it isn't a sovereign nation;
since the federal budget was in good shape until recently, there's a safety net. And the federal budget
was in pretty good shape because the Clinton administration, unlike state governments, behaved responsibly.
Budget projections were honest - if anything, too cautious - and boom-year surpluses were used to reduce debt.
Subject: New Vegas Stuff
New Stuff Includes:
Play Tic-Tac-Toe against Ginger, a chicken at
If you win, you get $10 Gs.
(I wonder if I could outsmart the chicken?)
It's 36 Ds As Far As the Eye Can See - Bras Across The Strip
More Unbelievable Photos From Where Else? The Palms!
Letter to the Seattle Mariners baseball team
As a fan of the game of baseball, I find
your use of the song "God Bless America" on Sundays
to be exploitative and insulting. Please leave the 7th inning stretch as it is meant to be,
a time to go the bathroom and not a church service in a PUBLIC SUBSIDIZED FACILITY
David, I agree, and I have a question for those who disagree:
Why don't we ask the umpires to call out "Strike One, praise the Lord?"
And then "You're out, All glory to God?"
The reason we don't do that is because it's extra-stupid to
mix religion and baseball.
Just like it's extra-stupid to mix religion and politics, or religion and the Pledge of Allegiance
I can only assume people who disgaree want to be seen praying
by others, and last time I checked,
vanity was a sin or a vice or some damn thing that Jesus specifically asked people not be engage in,
although I doubt Jesus would dangle his preposition that way.
Shows Courage In Challenging Bush
by Joe Conason
Mr. Kerry is staking out a politically perilous position at a time when conventional wisdom
declares foreign and military issues to be the exclusive province of the President. As a Senator
from Massachusetts—whose last Presidential nominee suffered humiliating defeat by a candidate
named Bush—he risks highlighting negative assumptions about his own viability on a national ticket.
next ideas battle
by The Big Dog
"...Since then the world has been consumed with religious, racial, ethnic, and tribal conflict.
Clearly, hostility and violence among different peoples are not genetically foreordained.
People may be mutually suspicious of "the other," but they have to be taught and led to kill."
Subject: Volume 104
I just read your Volume
104.... Is that from your "blue" period???
It was thoroughly enjoyable, from start to finish!
Are you sure you read Vol 104 of bartcop.com?
That kind of humor on today's issues is totally lacking.
Oh, ...so you say, ...I used to be funny ...750 issues back?
Thanks, ... I think...
It had a common thread and used intelligent commentary
to weave the whole into a cohesive issue.
Best I have seen in a long time.
Sue, I wouldn't doubt we're loooooong past the "Golden Age" of
We could maybe run more flashbacks - if I only knew what issues were good.
When I read 'em, I see a consistent and monotonous barrage of ineffective stabs in the dark..
From the New York Daily News
Jenna Bush may be too young to drink in
the States, but France is another story.
The President's 20-year-old daughter was spotted at St.-Tropez hotspot Caves du Roy
drinking with two friends for more than four hours, London's Mirror reports.
They finished a $225 bottle of vodka and an equally pricey bottle of tequila at the club.
You know where Jenna got the bottle of tequila?
From Bat Boy!
"I'm hot for Jenna!"
Subject: Smokin' Joe on MSNBC
It was a thrill to see our good friend
Smokin' Joe Conason on MSNBC Monday night, even though
he had to deal with some slow-witted fill-in for Chris the Screamer. The topic was Clinton's long-restrained
defense against the pot-shots that the Bushies have been taking at him, and the stage had been set to criticize
Clinton for breaking the unwritten rule that former presidents should not criticize sitting presidents (a rule that
appears to apply only to former Dem presidents, and is non-reciprocal).
Conason was magnificent. He turned the premise
on its head, and pointed out the shameless Bush administration's
campaign to blame corporate greed on some imagined "anything goes" mantra of the Clinton era. He gave the
appropriate citations for what the Repugs were doing to thwart corporate accountability during the 90's.
The host was forced to retreat, the conservative co-commentator was reduced to babbling,
and Smokin' Joe's stock shot through the roof!
Shot of Chinaco Anejo for Joe Conason!
Larry, good point.
I'm Joe Conason stock was offered, I'd buy.
tries to stay afloat
It's tough being chased by the BartCop Hex
The company's shares, which have been trading under $1
since October, could be delisted on Nasdaq by Aug. 13,
further hindering its ability to raise cash to fund operations.
From the Houston Chronicle
Cheney keeps low profile as dealings scrutinized
As White House officials worked to contain
fallout from corporate scandal,
VP Dick Cheney was far away -- in a submarine off the Florida coast.
Whistle Dick is hiding from Larry Klayman!
He know he can't be served a subpoena if
he's on a warship underwater!
He's going to prison if he gives Klayman a deposition, at least until
Bush's paid-for court vacates his sentence - they're on his payroll, you know
From: Craig B
Hey Bartcop, had to make a donation to you,
and now I'm going to make one
to the Clinton Library after reading what the freepers are up to...
Craig, thanks from both of us
Subject: Issue 104
That issue really kicked ass.
Put up some more good flashbacks...
John, I don't know what's good and what's not.
I've never done any of this live.
I've never "honed my craft," in public.
(Sorry, that sounded dirty)
I don't know what people are laughing at, and I don't know
what they groaning at, so I depend on people like you to tell me.
Suggest a Flashback Issue or even a segment of one.
Subject: Loyalty is a rare commodity
Loyalty is a rare commodity in this world and
it is so heartwarming to hear you
stand up for President Clinton so bravely. Perhaps, someone should let him know
the yeoman service you are performing so that he can not only contribute to your website
but have his moneyed acquaintances and friends do the same as well.
The wonderful people of this country deserve to
have people like you
speaking honestly and bravely for their values.
Keep up the good work.
...Artie, is that you?
BartFest2002 - Party of the Year
Make your own hotel reservations.
Big News: Nothing yet, but that could change in a heartbeat.
Who would you like to see at BartFest in Las Vegas??
vote, in alphabetical order:
(Hint: We're not getting either Clinton.)
Also, vote for TWO people.
This is a PARTY!
Vote here --->
and put your answer in the subject box, OK?
Comments are welcome, as are other suggestions you may have.
Y'know, in a way, it's kind of exciting - the danger behind
Right now, it's still a cozy get-together with just a few close friends meeting for a drink.
But if the special guests come thru, it'll grow faster than Ari
Fliescher's nose on budget day.
On the other hand, I can't officially invite the special guests without a budget, but I'm inclined
to roll the dice - and invite them - and "bet on the come" as they say at the crap tables.
Can my credit cards stand the strain?
Isn't this exciting?
When I'm gambling, I'd much rather have a pool cue in my hand.
Back in the Hard Rock Island days, we booked a string of
really expensive bands for
consecutive weekends, but then we had seven ice storms on seven consecutive Fridays in 1986.
I lost my ass - BIG time.
Not only do you have to pay the band, but, expecting a big crowd, we had to stock up
on extra whiskey, extra beer, more bouncers, more waitresses, more advertising, etc.
We have two really, really exciting "bands" who we're trying to
convince to play
If Vegas doesn't have an ice storm ( ha ha ) this could actually work.
Of course, the smart move is to keep this low-key and not go out
on a limb,
but my IQ of 64 wants more, more, more. Plus, I have the Vegas Fever!
This may turn out like the Hard Rock - we had the time of our
life but we lost $40K.
NO way I could lose $40K this September in Vegas, unless Luck isn't a Lady,
and we're guaranteed to have a monster weekend, so it's a win-win, right?
15 days from todayThe
Rio will ask "Bart, you in or out?"
...isn't this exciting?
(Oh, God, please don't let me lose my ass on this)
28th - tickets
The most exciting city in the world.
The History Channel Special last night was good, ...but it's not 1996 anymore.
Here's their top ten, and it's not all that bad.
1. The Strip
2. Haute cuisine
3. Low-roller gambling
4. Elvis-a-Rama Museum
5. Downtown Las Vegas
6. Cirque du Soleil's "O"
7. Guggenheim Las Vegas and Guggenheim Hermitage Museum
8. Neon lights
9. Showgirls return
10. Hoover Dam
History Channel's Vegas Top Ten Details
Click Here to see Bart's 39 (so far) things to do in Vegas.
Here to see Dave's 100 Things to do in Vegas
Talk to me!
Is it wise to support bartcop.com?
With a crooked president and a paid-off Supreme Court, I know it's tough to survive.
We lefty dot.coms know that better than anybody.
If we don't fight back - who will? The elected Democrats?
But Bart, ...Dubya's our friend...
It wouldn't be right to fight our friend...
Click below to become a Corona Light volunteer for
Click Here to donate large.
Help if you can, if you can't, that's OK, too.
Thanks to Alex
and girls, can you spell Enron?
by Gene Lyons
Has there ever been a more tone-deaf Democrat than Sen. Joseph Lieberman?
Here the country's in the middle of a corporate crime wave, crooked CEOs are
getting hauled off to jail, millions of people are too scared to read their IRA or
401(k) statements, and President Junior's made a big show of signing a corporate
fraud bill he'd have called Bolshevism two months ago if he could pronounce the word.
So who does Lieberman think needs scolding? Al Gore, of course, the guy who picked
the sanctimonious Connecticut Senator as his vice-presidential running mate in 2000.
This Just In...
The end of bartcop.com
It appears we are at that point.
I have received an offer that is too good to pass up.
I'll continue to do the page for a couple
of more weeks, but after that...I'm gone.
It seems I've hit the BIG time.
No more treehouse for me.
Click Here for all the exciting details!
Wish me luck!
They read it in Kookapoo.
They read it in Ikeja - Nigeria, where the millions are coming my way!
They read it in Kansas City, under the name "Moose & Squirrel"
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
© 2002, bartcop.com
Heard at BartFest