787 - Carville, Conason & Steele II
*Special discounts for bartcop.com readers
May 8, 2002
...continued from Vol
787 - Carville, Conason & Steele
Then, smokin' Joe Conason introduced her -
Julie Hiatt Steele!
The roar made me think the Stones, Beatles and Zeppelin had just
taken the stage.
The place went nuts with hooting and foot-stompin and clapping
(Please, Mr. Video man - hurry with that tape!)
Julie told me last night - that iris-colored
suit she wore to the Fest?
the same outfit she was wearing when Nancy Luque
up and said, "The defense rests, Your Honor."
She wore it for us.
<...pause to get the lump out of my throat...>
I don't remember a lot about Julie's comments, you'll know why
in a second.
I'm sure she thanked James for having us, and I know she thanked
Joe for the years of support,
and then, horror of horrors, Julie said, "Where's
...but I wasn't worried. I was lurking in the shadows in the back.
I knew my loyal fans would shield me from the harsh glare
of the spotlight
and cover for me and protect me so I could remain hidden in the
I was wrong!
Julie asked me to come up and stand with her.
I wasn't comfortable grabbing the attention but you don't say
no to Julie.
So I made my way up through the crowd to stand with her on her
Julie then asked Christian and Nancy Luque (her atty) to come
I tried to leave, but Julie sunk a nail into my arm - just like
So we're standing there and Julie continued her very short speech.
She suggested instead of using time, money and energy to try
to impeach Usurper Boy,
let's just win Congress this year and win again in 2004 with
a centrist Democratic message
so we can throw the evil and cheating Republicans out of the
Remember, Julie and Susan McDougal know the GOP and they
really like - better than anyone in America, maybe except for
Bill and Hillary.
Then something happened I'll never forget:
Gene Lyons told me in an e-mail a loooooong
time ago to ask Julie
to tell me a certain naughty story about
the time she appeared on Geraldo.
Later, when Julie told me the story, I
laughed so hard I got a headache.
It's too damn funny. Once you hear
this story, you won't ever forget it.
I remember the first time Julie came into Gens's live chat room,
I was teasing her and I asked her to tell that great Geraldo
Of course, she didn't tell this hysterical story then - noooooooooo.
She waited until we were standing in front of 200 people with
lights and a
video camera pointed at us - THEN she told the story.
I'm not going to tell you - you'll have to wait until the video
comes out to hear this
I-can't-believe-how-funny-that-is story, but let's just hope
the camera didn't record my jaw
dropping on the floor when I realized where she was going. I
was kinda in a daze and I hear
"the time I was on Geraldo,"
and I thought, "No way she's telling THAT story" - but she did.
Go figure - the crowd GOT IT in a split-second. It took
me a few minutes the first time,
but this crowd wasn't handicapped by an IQ of 64, and they ALL
got it at the same time.
Julie's timing is perfect. I remember after our first conversation,
I kept thinking Julie has a
future in stand up comedy. The pros say a great stand up comic
needs two things:
A great sense of timing and a good memory. She's got the timing
and nobody has a memory like Julie Hiatt Steele.
Whatever grip I had on the night ended there. I don't remember
after that Geraldo story.
I assume when her speech ended she got a nice round of applause,
but - the night was still young.
I guess the speeches were done by 8:45 and we had the place until
10 PM at least, so we started
pouring Chinaco shots and mingling around, exchanged
lies and stories with the Julie fans.
While mingling, I met Nancy Luque, Julie's winning attorney.
(Would I be a sexist pig if I said Nancy is very attractive
We only talked for a minute, but we quickly centered on the point
that Julie is a tornadoe*.
It must've been extreme torture for the two of them to be locked
inside that pressure-cooker for years,
but thank Koresh things turned out like they did. Nancy told
me the entire time they were being railroaded
by our out-of-control, religiously-insane federal government,
(my words) they kept asking each other,
"Doesn't anybody see what's they're doing
Why doesn't somebody speak out against
Why isn't there some outrage about an
innocent woman being put through hell just so
Newt can try to embarrass Clinton? Why
doesn't somebody stop this abortion of justice?"
(That last one was mine.)
That must have been maddening to know the whole world was watching
while Julie got rolled
but nobody cared enough to stand up and say "Stop
this horseshit right
now!" I told Nancy
that if I'd known about Julie's plight back then, I would've
used my even-smaller-than-it-is-now
hammer to write about each days events, but I guess that's a
priviledge only available to the
lying-about -their-oath Freepers on the damn jury, with the
crooked judge's full knowledge.
it's Julie talking to Bart!
those photographers -they never get a good shot of me!
I tried and tried to think of a way to
keep my image out of the forthcoming video,
but they say that can't be done without
using those little square pixels and they're
very expensive so those of you who buy
the tape will have to agree to put
cardboard on the right side of your TVs
when I get on stage, OK?
We'll have a special cardboard-detecting
chip inside the tape, so if you fail to
use the cardboard, your credit card will
be billed for each illegal viewing.
Another thing, and I hope this OK to tell now, I didn't
want to get into this at the time
because Julie hates to be talked about, but the day before Juliefest2002-DC,
she had a root canal done on that cracked tooth we talked
about back in February.
They couldn't cap the tooth until it's fixed, and they couldn't
fix it without root canal.
A certain someone who doesn't want his name revealed told Julie
to go to her regular
dentist and to have him call his office and he'd take care of
Isn't that a damn nice thing for him to do?
A shot of Chinaco to Mr. Unknown in San Diego!
Oh, and there's one more piece to that story:
Julie said while they were using steel and titanium bits to drill
into the nerve of that tooth, she went to sleep.
Swear to Koresh, she said she went right to sleep. The dentist
had to wake her up.
If you've ever had a root canal, you know there's not enough
anesthesia in thw world
to kill the pain when that nerve gets drilled on, but Julie went
When she told me that, I thought, "She's
lying! ...Julie Hiatt Steele is lying to me," but then I
remembered that she's the woman who gave up a million dollar
home and her life as she knew it just
to avoid telling a lie that would've solved all her problems
except for the one called "integrity."
By the way, ... I gotta tell you this.
This is gonna be tough on me writing it, and it should be tough
on you reading it, and I wish
there was a way I could say this without Julie reading it because
it'll cause her a lot of pain,
but when we saw her later in the week, I got directions to the
home she gave up.
First, you have to really really want to get there.
You take this road for a while, then that road for a while.
All the time you're still in west-north-western Richmond, but
as you get closer
to the address, the houses get bigger and better. After a while
you make this right turn
and you're surrounded by thousands of trees. After about
another half-mile, you see the mailbox.
old neighborhood is like a national park
To get to the house, you drive thru the trees left and right and
left and right.
That's how the movers couched their crimes, because the regular
couldn't make the twist & turns to get to the house, so they
used little truck after
little truck, which gave them the cloak they needed to rob her
But, once you finish the twisted drive up the loooooong driveway,
you see this magnificent grand estate.
We couldn't see the front of the house without trespassing, and
the lucky new owners have
a large guard dog that greeted us, so we had to stay in the car,
dammit. Another thing, you know
how some wealthy people put their house on display so everyone
can see how rich they are?
The classy people get a house that's hidden in the trees - that's
what Julie did.
The house is white and it has maybe six windows with green shutters
on the first and second floors.
It has twin fireplaces on either end of the house that are both
Julie said she was there for 23 years, so I'm guessing she had this
place built in 1978.
I've never seen Gone With the Wind, but I have a feeling that
this place looks like Tara from the front.
Maybe someday you'll get to Richmond and see her house.
It'll break your heart.
You can't have any idea what she gave up until you see this place.
...and now she's about to be thrown out of a condemned apartment.
Hold on, I need a shot...
From: AA Warren
Wow! Julia Hiatt Steele is a FOX!
Is she married? Does she smell good, too?
Al, Julie is a proper (and single) southern lady.
And yes, she's very attractive.
She looked like several million dollars on her big night.
...and of course she smells good.
Wrapping up the story...
Perhaps the biggest mistake of the night, part of the "losing
time" business, was the photos.
We intended to have the hour prior to the gig for a private photo
session where people
could have their picture taken with Julie, but the first time
I blinked, the show was ready to go.
I can think of two ways to mitigate the damage:
1 - You could go to JuliefestWest
and have your picture taken with Julie at the
fabulous Hard Rock
Resort and Casino or the next night in LA, (more on that later).
2- We are preparing a collage of the pictures taken at Juliefest2002-DC.
We intend to create a poster,
signed by Julie. The buzz on this is good.
Sorry I screwed that up. Julie might've gotten a nice extra boost
from the picture-taking.
I can't imagine anybody at that party who wouldn't pay
for their picture with Julie.
Mark from Buzzflash.com,
Gene from Americanpolitics.com,
Marc from perkel.com,
Lisa from allhatnocattle.com,
David from democraticunderground.com
Marty from BartCop
E! and Michele from BartCook,
Gens from The Forums
All we were missing was Tamara Baker, Gene Lyons, JQ from mediawhoresonline.com
and one cop.
I intended to gather the big dogs and have a mini-summit, maybe
find a way to combine
our resources and increase the size of everyone's hammer, but
time just wouldn't allow it.
...another missed opportunity.
soundtrack nobody heard
Special thanks to Patricia. Her husband asked what she
wanted for her birthday (4/25)
and she told him, "I want to go toJuliefest2002-DC."
and special thanks to Larry for "capping off" a great
...and congrats to Juli and Wallace for getting married!
The dark horse hero of the night was Mark from Buzzflash.com
He wrote a week or two before the fest and asked if we were going
to raffle off stuff,
because that was a good way to raise money at the event. I told
him that we had no plans
to do that, because we didn't know how and we were running low
Shamelessly, I asked if he could coordinate that FOR us, and he
"I'd be happy to do anything that will help
Julie. She's a hero."
So Mark DONATED all those books, got the right people to sign
them - and that's not all.
First, Mark sent a supersize check. That was damn nice
to start with.
Second, he allowed himself to be roped into handling the
raffles that would benefit Julie.
Third, he donated the books and some Buzzflash.com
shirts and other stuff to be raffled off.
son Adam has been wearing his Buzzflash.com shirt to school)
fourth, and this is the big one, Mark manned the table
with the goods the entire night and
handled the raffles, the t-shirt sales, he safe-guarded the champagne
bucket o' cash all night, he MC'd
the raffles - he did everything that we either didn't know how
to do or didn't have time to do.
A shot of Chinaco for Mark at Buzzflash.com
Hell, if I had any brains, I would've bought him a shot right
then, but nooooo.
It was not quite a madhouse, but it was packed - wall-to-wall.
Everybody had drinks. We had at least a doctor there, we had
we had at least one former judge and we had Rude Rich wearing
One lady told me her Dad was gonna flip when she told him
she got to meet Bart!
I'm not sure she was too impressed, but she said her Dad
back in Arizona was gonna flip.
One poor guy had the bad luck to buy me my first shot o' Chinaco.
When the bartender asked what I
wanted, I told him "Shot of Chinaco - and make it a
double." I shouldnt have, but I was feeling kinda
weird about everything - coming out, hosting, shaking hands -
do you want to know something really strange?
People asked for my autograph! Didn't they know there were
real heroes in the room?
I'll bet a dozen people bought me a shot of Chinaco
that night. Good thing I respect The Miracle at Canaan
too much to get enibriated on it. If I wanted to get my load
on (that's what they call it on NYPD Blue) I'd use
whiskey or vodka, cause God's Best Miracle doesn't go
to my head. Hell, I made sense all night :)
Triple Crown Winner Seattle Slew Dies
Seattle Slew always had a sense of timing.
Winner of the 1977 Triple Crown and sire of more than
100 stakes winners, the big black stallion
died Tuesday - 25 years to the day after his victory in the
Kentucky Derby. There is no living
Triple Crown winner stabled anywhere in the world.
Slew, as he was affectionately known, was
the only horse to win the Triple Crown while undefeated.
This is very sad.
Julie, myself, Mrs. Bart and Christian all had a connection to
Maybe you wondered why every issue the last week before Juliefest
had the phrase,
down the stretch they come!
That was for Slew and a very special lady who was a great
help to Julie.
A heartfelt shot of Chinaco for two champions.
To read what others thought of Juliefest2002-DC
These are dozens of great letters written by attendees,
offering their opinion of Carville,
Conason and Steele
and the support staff..
Christian told me each time she's spent the night at Julie's they
stayed up all night talking.
Christian said she generally hears birds chirping when she finally
With that in mind,
Julie was a tornadoe*all
night at West24.
She worked that crowd for over 4 hours.
And remember, for the last four years, a "crowd" to Julie is
when Adam had a friend over.
But she worked that room, smiling, shaking hands, signing autographs
and shirts and books.
She always had someone standing nearby waiting for their chance
to talk to her.
I haven't heard from anybody who said they didn't get
a few minutes with her.
A looooooot of people got a pinch of that Julie magic on April
Afterwards I asked if she was up for a nightcap and she said,
I'm too TIRED!"
Julie really said that!
people tired her out, and that's not easy to do.
I want to thank everyone who made this such a big night for her.
Even though she'd dead broke, Julie doesn't care about the money
as much as she enjoyed meeting so many friendly people.
On the phone with Julie, ten days later, she still says,
"Can you believe that night? Wasn't that something?"
Do me this favor: Don't forget about her now.
Do you ever read about these movie stars and supermodels who
they don't date because everyone assumes they're already
Don't think because Juliefest2002-DC
is over that you should stop writing
or calling or e-mailing Julie. Yes, at the moment she has more
mail than she can answer,
but for the first time in four years she can actually TALK or
write to people without
some son of a bitch from the IOC's office tapping her phone and
reading her mail
and then contacting that person for a grilling under the hot
She told me last night that she's digging
for the two pieces of evidence where she
first read the name "BartCop." One paper
is from Ken Starr (R-rat bastard)'s office
and the other is from the White House.
(Yes, Julie, keep digging. That'll look great on the page!)
I regret that I didn't meet Julie sooner.
I would've enjoyed calling her home during the height of the "bunkerdom"
and talking to her for
hours and hours on the phone. And if Starr and his goons wanted
an interview with me afterwards
I would've given them all kinds of recaps about what we
talked about, such as what a bullying
piece of xxxx he is, what a xxxx his mother must have been to
raise an unprincipled monster like him
what a slimeball mother-xxxxxxx he is and every other insulting
slur I could've thought of at the time.
Our government left Julie with nothing but Adam, her dignity and
I feel really lucky that I got to meet her and help a little.
write to Julie!
I don't know how to end this story, so I'll just say that it was
an unforgetable thrill to
see the smile on Julie's face on this magic night when she was
surrounded by friends..
She's only been free of her horrible, spirit-crushing ordeal
we've known her.
When we met her, she was in the middle of getting thrown out of
her home and having her
private possessions stolen and broken by the greedy and clumsy
movers. And since it took
FOUR companies to move her, they felt free to steal at will because
they knew they could
always blame the broken/stolen stuff on one of the other movers,
the heartless bastards.
All this time, since the final OIC report came out in March, she
was STILL living under the constant threat
of indictment by that son of a bitch Robert Ray. Why? Just
because he could. The sick bastards that
made up the IOC couldn't beat a man in a fair fight, so they
chose to bully a single mother, instead.
They thought they could break her, but they were dead f-ing wrong.
Julie was too much for them.
But this was Julie's night and seeing her reaction to the tsunami
of positivity will always
be a great memory for me. If you
were there, you saw it, too. If you weren't there,
lets hope the video caught some of that magic forever so you
can show your kids.
Christian and I can't really claim a lot of credit for this.
All we did was rent a classy room and ask Julie fans to show
All the good stuff that happened was because of what YOU
Once the Juliefest roller coaster started down the tracks, all
we could do was hang on.
people made Julie's night a magic night that she'll never forget.
Thanks for that...
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