Fair & balanced


Before we name more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan, 
can we get a look at what Bush is hiding in Reagan's files?

Ich bin ein Enroner

John Belushi

Chris Matthews

Bush POWs

Nudity on bartcop

Bush is Pissed

A Slut Named Laura

Judas Maximus

Insane Guns


Tar & Feathers

Illegal to Speak



BartCop, come to Vegas!

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Volume 698 - Found it in Chocolate 


 Thursday - January 24, 2002              Send me an Angel            Recent old stuff            Shopping w/ Bart

 Does Tom Daschle read  bartcop.com?

Daschle hits Bush on Social Security

  Click  Here

 Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle yesterday tried to politicize the bankruptcy of Enron Corp.
 for the first time by comparing it to President Bush's handling of Social Security.

"I don't want to 'Enron' the people of the United States," Mr. Daschle told reporters,
"I don't want to see them holding the bag at the end of the day,
  just like Enron employees have held the bag," he said of seniors.

 ha ha

 Use anything you like, Tom.


 "Persons who cannot see as well, read as well or understand as well still cannot count on
   Florida to protect their basic civil right under the Florida Constitution to cast in secret their ballot."

  You know who said that?

  You sitting down?

  Brace yourself...
  It was Katherine Harris, the most famous vote rapist in American history.

 From the cartoon vault...

Budget Reversal To Yield Deficit
Administration's Debt Estimate for '02 Is $106 Billion

 Click  Here

The federal government is projected to run a $106 billion deficit this year,
confirming the sharpest turnabout in the nation's fiscal health in half a century.

Two points:
Bush promised he'd take America in a new direction, and he has.
Also, I guarantee he's lying about the numbers.

Copy and paste this somewhere so you can call me on it a year from now.
If President Happy Crack predicts a $106 billion deficit, it'll be over $200 billion.

He's going to Enron the whole country with his phony projections, just like Kenny Boy.
The Bush Family Evil Empire always gets theirs, just like Hyman Roth.

Now, repeat after me, "Ich bin ein Enroner."

Oh, God, what did we do to anger you so?

 Potter witchcraft accusation hits Pa. town

  Click  Here

 The Penryn, PA police department has refused to direct traffic at a YMCA triathlon
 because it says the club promotes witchcraft by reading Harry Potter books to children.

 This is a smart move.
 Those kids have no business reading books at some damn library
 when they could be out smoking dope, having sex and joining gangs.

From: nancy.maynard@amti.com

Subject: Does Rep Greenwood read Bartcop?

 Click  Here

Duncan looked wan and reserved as Rep. Jim Greenwood (R-Pa.), chairman of
the House Energy and Commerce's oversight and investigations subcommittee,
pressed for answers that might help unravel the story behind Enron's collapse.
"Mr. Duncan, Enron robbed the bank," Greenwood said.
"Andersen provided the getaway car. And they say you were at the wheel."


 "How can you expect to be taken seriously
   after you've spread your legs for a camera?"
    -- Laura Schlessinger, swear to Koresh

 Psychic Ops
"Remote viewers" say the Feds have sought their help since 9/11.
 Might this explain all those "credible, nonspecific threats"?

 Click  Here

  Found on a Yahoo Forum bb

 The First Six Months of George W. Bush:
   Whatever your beliefs, know what your president is doing.

   Here is a list of his work in his first six months:

   Click  Here

 I need a lawyer/private detective in Los Angeles.
 Not a dove Democrat in a pink skirt, no, I need a Karl Rove-type weasel,
 a nasty-ass Republican bastard with no conscience or semblance of morals,

 ...but I repeat myself.

 If you are that lawyer or private detective, e-mail me your phone number.

From: badcompany@1st.net

Subject: Why Rush won't talk to a non-screened audience

Bart Cop,

In answer to your question about why the Limpdick won't appear on a serious show;
you may not have seen this particular episode when it occurred, however, when Limpdick
was a 'rookie' on the radio talk circuit in the Ohio area(this was around the same time the
Rodney King thing went down), Phil Donahue had invited Rush on his show.

That particular afternoon, Donahue had a large audience of women, and the discussion centered on,
"The Woman's Right to Choose" and diverse factors involved in a woman's choice to have an abortion,
for example poverty, rape, etc.

Rush kept running his face about how "immoral" and "evil" abortion is, and on and on how women
should be ashamed of themselves and so forth. A lady in the audience confronted the windy wonder
with a hypothetical question involving the rape of his daughter by a black man; would he, as the father
of the girl, demand she get an abortion?

You had to see it to believe it!
Much him-hawing later, the lady finally got the windbag to admit that, yes, in that case he would favor an abortion.
I remember it well, and from that day on, Limpdick never made an appearance on a live talk show.
He, apparently, realized that he did not have control of the audience or questions and it killed him on Donahue.


 Remember Phillip Schuman's 'FDR recession?'

  A rebuttal, with a chart.

  Click  Here

 Contest Winner

 Congrats to EJM3 for being first to post the correct answer to yesterday's quiz.

 EJM3, send me your address so the South's Finest Chocolate Factory
 can send you a pound of chocolate and an order of these things.


"Hi, I'm Dr. Laura for Kumho Tires.
  Next time you need tires, buy Kumho.

  When you think of Kumho, think of me, Dr. Laura."

From: Madcatmusic@aol.com

Subject: Deaf pig

I have the same condition as Pigboy but I can't afford a miracle.


 If you are a reporter with a story that your editor won't let you run, contact me.
 If you're "just a nobody" with some information and you have no way to get it out, contact me.

 Surprise Update

 Surprise #1, the one that can happen any minute, hasn't happened yet.
 Each minute that goes by without the surprise happening is more puzzling than the last.
 It's a win-win for everybody with no down side, and how rare is that?
 I have faith.   Surprise #1 should happen any minute, and I'll keep you posted.

 Surprise #2 is only slightly late.
 We thought we might know something late Tuesday, but now it's mid-Thursday,
 ...so, like with Surprise #1, it should happen any minute.
 Surprise #2 is the long-shot of the three surprises.

 Surprise #3 is going to happen.

 ha ha

 Can you say, "Sweet?"

 ha ha

 If you've had it up to HERE with my crap, stick around just a little longer.
 Trust me, ...I'm Catholic.

 Oh, ...Oh, ...Oh!

 Damn, I can't say anything, but a guy Christian knows, "the man with the hat"
 is about to make some big news on a often-mentioned bartcop.com  subject.
 Even after it happens, I can't say anything, but he called and asked me
 if I wanted to be there when the big event got placed into motion.

 ha ha

 Right now Christian is saying, "No way..."

 Christian,   ...way!

From: (Model T)

Subject: garbage

Wanted you to know I bought the new Garbage CD, Beautiful Garbage, on your recommendation.
It's pretty good. I'll let you know in a few days if it stays on the CD player.


I recommend, Can't Cry These Tears, Cherry Lips and Untouchable to get things going.

By the time you get to Cup of Coffee, you'll be hooked.



"I am the Central Scrutinizer.
 I thought I ordered these pagans to be secretly tortured to death.
 What, all the secret torture rooms are full?
 I'd better ask the President for money to build more secret torture rooms."

This Just In...

 President Bush proposes extra $37.7 billion to protect
 an America he said was "still under attack.''

 Click  Here

"Hot Damn!
 I can build a lot of secret torture rooms with that $37 billion.
 I can build an entire secret torture complex with that kind of money.
 I'll get rid of these pagans, the liberals, the queers and the negroes.
 The Constitution doesn't apply to them, that's for sure.

 Oh, I love my job...

 I should send Pat Leahy a special thank you note."


 "Where's Jack Ruby when we need him?"
    --the vulgar Pigboy, again and again today,
      suggesting John Lindh Walker be executed without a trial.

 Saw it on the BartCop Chat & Post...

 Posted by MarzipanFruit

 I just got some chocolate I ordered from that place and it is un-freaking-believable.
 It almost makes me cry with satisfaction.
 I ordered the breakable milk chocolate triangles like Bartcop said and also an assorted box.
 Treat yourself or your honey to this stuff - it's dynamite.
 I tried to order from the website, but for some reason it never works.
 Then when I called the 800 number the lady was SUPER nice.

 Tyson-Lewis Fight In Doubt After Tyson BITES Lewis

  Read the whole story on 

  Pop Quiz
 (no chocolate this time)

 Who was the last heavyweight champion not bitten by Mike Tyson?

 Shirley Manson, contact  bartcop.com

     Send me your sticker pics!

Sticker Contest!

Click  Here

Still no sticker pictures...

 There is a rock group that has paid for a banner run
 but I can't find your banner or address.

 Lemme know so I can run it...


 Headlines from today's exciting 

 Jennifer Connelly Happy With Nude Scenes,
 Winona Ryder Dumped By Boyfriend,
 Friends Stars Offered $1 Million Per Episode,
 Harrison Ford and Minnie Driver 'Like Lovesick Kids'
 Indiana Jones 4 A Go,

 ..and what was The Perfect Rock & Roll Photo Of All Time?

 There's those stories and tons more.

 Not so happy Birthdays...

  John Belushi (1949)   Sharon Tate (1943)

 ...the BartCop Hex!

 I ain't never had no hex on me before!
 Maybe John Breaux knows some voodoo
 that can reverse the BartCop Hex.
 Ol' John's my best buddy.
 He'll do anything for me.

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
   PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
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 Shirley Manson, contact  bartcop.com

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