Fair & balanced


Before we name more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan, 
can we get a look at what Bush is hiding in Reagan's files?

Bush POWs

Nudity on bartcop

Bush is Pissed

A Slut Named Laura

Judas Maximus

Insane Guns


Tar & Feathers

Illegal to Speak


Catholic Abuses

Chickens Roost

Tim the Ho

Pop Quiz


Doug P, surfing the bay 

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Volume 697 - When Pigboy Flies


 Wednesday - January 23, 2002         Send me an Angel        Recent old stuff           Online Shopping


 "If drilling in the refuge is the crown jewel of your energy plan,
   you actually have no energy plan at all."
   --John Kerry, running for the presidency in 2004?

Does Rush read bartcop.com?

 Click Here

From:   bushblowsus@yahoo.com

Subject: when pigboy flies


You were right. You said, in a few months, Rush will be claiming a miracle has restored his hearing...
'"For the first time in four months via a medical marvel, ... I'm hearing this," Limbaugh announced.'

 Full Story

"He told his listeners in October that he was almost entirely deaf"

 October? Wasn't that when Enron started shredding papers?

 Jeff Crook

 Genuflecting before the Bush Throne
    by Gene Lyons

   Click  Here

Alas, His Majesty's single most generous supporter turns out to have been running
the world's largest bookie joint. It collapsed amid heaps of shredded documents,
taking the jobs and retirement pensions of thousands-the biggest financial scandal
in U.S. history by a big margin. Nevermind that Enron donated $100,000 to pay
for Bush's successful campaign to prevent a Florida recount, placed corporate jets
at his disposal, then ponied up another $100,000 to finance innauguration festivities.
His Majesty's boon companion "Kenny Boy," an overnight White House guest under
George I, got quickly demoted to "that man, Mr. Lay."


 ...the Boomer in Ermine is spending your payroll taxes, which supposedly fund it,
to pay for tax cuts for multi-millionaire cronies like the former "Kenny Boy" although
Sir Howard and the rest wouldn't dream of putting it that way.

 Go, Gene!

"I am the Central Scrutinizer.
 This Lyons fella looks like trouble
 Did I see this Lyons guy on an al Qaeda list?
 I guess we'd better give him some secret torture and find out.
 He needs to be tortured in the name of justice for the sake of America.
 Get Torture Room 6 ready for this Lyons guy.

 What - Torture Room 6 already has someone in it?
 Well, then, put Lyons in Torture Room 5.
 What, Joe Conason is in 5?
 So put him in Torture Room 4.
 What, Molly Ivins is in 4?
 Clearly, we need more secret torture rooms."


 "Did you see the Golden Globes? Did you see all the cops there?
   The security was tighter than Joan Rivers face."
      --Jay Leno

 Paula Poundstone

 I'm not a big Paula Poundstone fan, never was.
 But when she got busted, I smelled horseshit.
 "Lewd behavior with a child" is what the headlines screamed about her.

 Last night, NBC very proudly revealed "the truth" about Paula.

 They said she was guilty of drunk driving with the kids (no small crime)
 but all that "lewd behavior with a child" stuff was just a pissed off kid
 who was told "No," and dropped a dime on her Mom.

 ...didn't we tell that story months ago on  bartcop.com?

 NBC acted like they had some big scoop.
 They just need to read more  bartcop.com

 Enron and Al Qaeda's Shared Link

   Click  Here

 How did top executives of Enron do it? How did they cause the world's
 biggest bankruptcy while making off with millions of dollars?

 They used the same financial tools as Osama bin Laden.

 To attack the Osama bin Laden financial network, the Bush administration
 knew right where to look -- in "offshore" secrecy havens, including the
 Bahamas, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Dubai and Panama.

 The Bush Family Evil Empire, bun Laden and Enron.
 It's all one, big happy pack evil-doers.

 Remember, by the time we get rid of the Bush Family Evil Empire,
 we'll all be saying "Ich bin ein Enroner."

Worldwide BartCop

From:  coolmanchu@hongkongmail.com

Subject: WTC Investigation

Where am I going wrong on this?
The supposed "day that changed the world" - two planes crash into a symbol of
American economic might - two thousand people die and there's no investigation?

Am I somehow missing the news that there's an investigation going on?
Yes, I *have* read that the officials in the fire department are complaining that *their*
investigation is being hampered by the movement, recycling or destruction of materials
from the WTC disaster ... but there doesn't seem to  be a lot of press in this regard.
Or it's just bypassing me...

I simply don't understand why, given an event of this magnitude, and the supposed
assurance that these buildings were built to withstand the collision of a large passenger
aircraft, everyone seems to have simply accepted that no investigation is necessary.

This stinks very badly.


  Check out Halliburton's stock

 Looks a lot like Enron's stock, doesn't it?

 Of course, former Halliburton CEO Dick Cheney has "no knowledge" of any of this.

 The Turnpike Scriptures
   by Stephen Sacco

  Click  Here

From: russ@clementem.org

Subject: Remember the Sliman Rules?

Recent news stories:

* Enron has been shredding so many documents that they have to post guards to prevent more shredding,
even though they've been under investigation since late last year and shredding documents is a Contempt
of Court/Contempt of Congress offense.

* A law student, unhappy with his grades, took a gun to his professor's office and killed three people.

*  Enron executives sold over $1.3 billion of stock while assuring the public that their company was in great shape.
They had already put in place an order preventing their rank-and-file employees from selling stock. They had set up
illegal offshore corporations to hide their debt; they knew the company's days were numbered and the stock was
due to crash. In other words, they raided the company's money by stealing it from the employees.

* The country's largest accounting firm demonstrated that they happily put the interests of their consulting agreements
ahead of the long-term interests of their clients

* Money intended for relief in Afghanistan has been diverted to the pockets of certain individuals.

* A man who publicly dated while married is now considered a paragon of morality

* Ossama bin Laden and Mullah Omar are still at large

Under the Sliman Rules (Bartcop issue 540, repeated in 614), this is all caused by the fact that the current resident of
the Oval Office is a man that always had everything given to him, who made his money out of companies going out of
business, who strong-armed his way into whatever he wanted, a man with prior drug- and alcohol-offenses who is a
known deserter but now CINC of our armed forces. When you have someone like that at the helm, what do you expect?

Russell, good one.

Note - Sliman is the only person ever banned from  bartcop.com, unless you count
               that one really unstable guy who claimed he was my good friend, whom I'd never met.
               Sliman just kept bothering me like a swarm of flies, so I asked Perkel to block him.

 The Wreck of the Enron Fitzgerald
   As seen on a DemocraticUnderground.com forum

  Click  Here

From: (Withheld)

Subject: Why the media called Smirk on his "Ken Lay supported Ann Richards" lie
              (see yesterday's issue)


I'm only guessing here, but he

A.  Smirk ran out of nicknames and pats on the head for reporters

or the media:

B.  Is tired of getting jerked around by that lying toady Ari Fleischer
C.  Took a look at itself in the mirror, saw the hardened streetwalker's face reflecting back,
      and decided to do some respectable work.
D.  Knew that other outrageous Bush lies/omissions were not as easily disprovable as that one.
      He still had the gall to tell it, knowing how easy would be to prove false.  Most of them may be
      lazy hacks, but some of them may have some shred of professional dignity, and don't want to be
      insulted to their faces.  Amazing to think about, isn't it?  Bush pushed his "luck" with his media
      flunkies so much, some of them called him on a lie.
E.  Maybe they read  bartcop.com,  saw the photo of the Smirking Usurper wiping his glasses
      on Maria Pope's clothes, and finally realized he's been using them.    We can only hope.


 "...because I love Pat Benatar..."
   -- Britney Spears when asked why she covered
       Joan Jett's I Love Rock n Roll on her new album



"I am the Central Scrutinizer.
 Pagans, eh?  That figures.
 BartCop in cahoots with pagans, I knew it all along.
 Find out who the head pagan guy is.
 He needs to be tortured in the name of justice for the sake of America.
 Put him in Torture Room 2.

 What, Gonzo Dave is in Torture Room 2?
 What about Torture Room 1?
 What, that  mediawhoresonline.com  gal is in Torture Room 1?

 How the hell am I supposed to enforce the laws of God
 if I can't torture somebody?"

 I got some e-mail!


"You should receive your stickers by the end of the month."

Woo Hoo!

Stickermania is coming!!!

They have an adhesive back, so they'll stick on stuff.
If you'd like some, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155
and I'll send you 5 or 10, whatever you need.  This sure-to-be valuable  bartcop.com  collectable can be yours.

Koresh, 30 years from now, do you have any idea what BartCop Memorabilia will go for?
30 years from now, the Elvis dolls and KISS lunchboxes will be right behind the BartCop Bobbleheads.

If you want to include a pittance to help grow the hammer higher - that's OK
...but you can get stickers without a donation.

We have new rules.
If you're broke, ... if you're on Social Security, ...if you're watching your dollars,
do not  send money with your requests for  bartcop.com  stickers.
Geez, I'm getting some letters that would make Karl Rove cry.

Don't send me anything besides stupid money.
Sometimes people say, "I canceled my subscription to TIME
so I thought I send you the money I would've sent them."
That'll work, I accept that as a compliment.
...but don't donate if you can't afford it.

If you send me some dollars when you're on SS, that means I have to pay 34 cents for postage to
return your dollars to you, and (doing my best Lee Marvin here) "..Lady,   ...I don't have the time."

Sudden Contest!

A pound of the South's Finest Chocolate to the first person to post on the BartCop Forum
the name of the movie where Lee Marvin said that.


Just this once, for the first person to tell me ...to whom, Lee Marvin said that,
(Tamara Baker not eligible since I sent her a copy of this tape)

...gets a BONUS order of these things...

This contest will only last a few hours.
Hurry, hurry and get your answer in.

Somebody's going to get a POUND of the best chocolate made by man AND
some white-chocolate covered pheremone strawberries with strange aphrodisiac properties.

ha ha

This chocolate is Rolls Royce.
Where else can you get Rolls Royce quality for just clicking on a treehouse?

...but, seriously, hold onto your money
If you don't have it to burn, don't send it.

What to do with the Palestinian Problem?

  Click  Here

 Lots of people had something to say about Palestine.

 Consumer Consumption

 ”Pigs is Pigs”

  Click  Here

 Did you hear what wild man Mike Tyson did Lewis at the Lennox Lewis press conference?
 Holy Moley, is he crazy or what?

 Just click on 

 So easy, Smirk could do it.

 Shirley Manson, contact  bartcop.com

     Send me your sticker pics!

Sticker Contest!

Click  Here


 Who's going to hell this week?
 Michael Dare knows, and he's made a list!

 They also have the great Harper's Week in Review.
 Plus, Chelsea Clinton, Connie Chung, a great picture of
 the Big Dog surrounded by a whole gaggle of fine-looking babes.

 Check today's 
 There's those stories and tons more.

Happy Birthday to...

 Dr. Panty-dropper is 56,                                  Tiff Theissen is 28
 her bondage collar is new

 Arf!  Arf!!
 Can you roll over for me Doggie?
 ha ha
 Can you beg?
 I want to hear you beg!
 ha ha

Also born today:  MacGuyver (1950) Ernie Kovacs (1919) NYPD's Miss Abandando (1963)
Gene Hackman, who's still kicking ass at 72, and the great Robin Zander is 49

 ...the BartCop Hex!
 I ain't never had a hex on me before!
 ...Jeb, Daddy, Kneel, P, hep me, somebody hep me.
 Make it go away!

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