Fair & balanced


Before we name more schools & airports after Ronald Reagan, 
can we get a look at what Bush is hiding in Reagan's files?

Kumho Tires

Ich bin ein Enroner

John Belushi

Chris Matthews

Bush POWs

Nudity on bartcop

Bush is Pissed

A Slut Named Laura

Judas Maximus

Insane Guns


Tar & Feathers

Illegal to Speak



Photo by Kevin Hickey

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Volume 700 - Corpus Gemini


 Saturday - January 26, 2002           Send me an Angel       Recent old stuff               Shopping w/ Bart


"Not everyone wants more, or at least not everyone wants more in circumstances like that.
 The idea of getting into a struggle to squeeze out another $5 million when you already have
 a $100 million seemed to me absurd, a misallocation of energy and interest. It's not as if you
 can buy a better steak if you're already that rich. It's not as if you can buy a better anything.
 So why fight for another five?"
   --  Peggy Noonan in the WSJ on Enron, but she could be talking about people like Rush and Laura,
        people who have $100M in the bank but keep telling lies just to deposit that extra nickle

 Bartcop Is An Idiot!!!!!!
    by Kelley M. Simich

  Click  Here

 I saw this myself, so don't bother writing to say it didn't happen.

 Last night I was flipping thru channels, and I caught some of the Burt Reynolds story on E!
 (No, not Marty's fine BartCop Entertainment page, there's an E! television network, too.)

 They interviewed friends of Burt and critics and then I saw that pompous bastard Michael Medved.
 Here comes the unbelievable part:
 When Medved spoke, he didn't mention Clinton's penis or shagging interns.

 Can you believe that?

 Swear to Koresh, I saw it with my own eyes.
 I even taped it!

 They say if you live long enough, you eventually see everything.
 I guess that's true.

 Surfin' the Net With Jesus!
   by Judy O'Christian

  Click  Here

 Praise the LORD! Jesus got it right when He picked our Godly President Bush and
 Attorney General John Ashcroft!  Truly, if the liberals were in charge, the USA wouldn't
 have paid off the debt owed to the evil UN and NATO satanic organizations and the liberals
 wouldn't have even allowed NATO planes to fly along America's coasts! I don't know of any
 better way to prevent their New World Order than that! Bush is following the Holy Bible,
 while the liberals caused the problem in the first place!

From:  John Schwartz

Subject: important

Dear Bart,

I am 16 years old and have been a long time reader of Bartcop.
I find that you are the only person in this country who agrees with me at every turn.
You have a wonderful website. Anyway the new black backround was a little hard
to get used to and people where complaining about how much their eyes hurt.

They must really enjoy your writing to sit through pain like that.
Me being 16 and having 20/20 vision didn't have this problem.

Thanks again for always speaking the truth.


Man's body discovered in van confirmed as suicide victim
Gunshot caused death of Denver consultant

 Click  Here

An autopsy report has confirmed that a man whose body was found in a van
parked in the Pike National Forest last week committed suicide.

Snowmobile riders discovered the body of James Daniel Watkins, 59,
in a snow-packed parking area off Rampart Ridge Road on Dec. 1.

Watkins had been missing since the afternoon of Nov. 13, when he left work
at the downtown Denver accounting firm of Arthur Andersen.

 Well, well.
 That makes two, both "suicides."

 I need to get one of those Little League umpire ball & strike counters,
 for when these Enron/AA guys start dropping two at a time.

"I have my eye on you evil-doers.  Did you think you could
 read this subversive website without me finding out?
 I'm reading your e-mail.
 I'm reading your snail mail.
 I have cameras outside your home, and a tap on your phone.

 We suspended that Freedom of Information commie crap,
 and we've passed secret laws to protect your freedom.
 This is what makes America great - that I can protect you so well.

 This is the only warning you're going to get.
 Turn off this web page right now and don't come back!!
 If you ever return, if I catch you at  bartcop.com  again, you'd better
 have made your peace with God because you are an evil-doer.
 Like the president said - you're either with him or with bin Laden.
 Do what we say and you won't be tortured."

'Bias' isn't supported - because it's not true

  Click  Here

 Bias, by former CBS newsman Bernard Goldberg, is long on name-calling and vitriol,
 but short on substance. "Delusional," "hypocrites," "Lilliputians" - these are just a few of
 the words Goldberg uses to describe journalists in general, and his old CBS colleagues
 in particular. He quips that if CBS News were a prison, many of its employees would
 be Dan Rather's "bitches."

 It's ironic that Goldberg's book has come out during a time when right-wing media watchdogs
 - who can find a socialist tilt in the weather report - are offering virtually nothing but praise for
 mainstream journalists' coverage since Sept. 11.

 I read TIME's review of the Goldberg book.
 They said an example of the book's "liberal bias" was during Clinton's impeachment, Peter Jennings
 would identify people on the TV screen as, "Senator Barbara Mikulski of Maryland," but
 then say "Senator McConnell of Kentucky, ...a very determined conservative."

 Well, hell, I hate to say something nice about that idiot Jennings, but all he was doing was pointing out
 the players, like when John Madden says, "Strayhan holds the record for most sacks."
 That's not bias, it's doing play-by-play on a developing story. The maddog conservative Republicans
 were pushing impeachment, not the sane middle or the left.  Jennings was just trying to do his job.

 I was reading some Michael Dare back issues yesterday.  In his 9/11 report, he said
"Even vicious anti-Bush sites like  bartcop.com  are saying today isn't the day to attack Bush."
 The word "vicious" didn't show bias, he was just pointing out the players.
 If I was a pink tutu Democrat, I might be upset with Dare...

 Goldberg is, as predicted right here, a big, big hit with the Fox News angry, old, white, rich boy's club.
 I think Goldberg and his "everybody's against us" whining should go toss off.

From: stich01@earthlink.net

Subject: Israel

For all your purported hatred of Bush & Co., you are obviously on their side.
You're on the side of Israel, and consequently on the side of Ariel Sharon,
the Bush junta's wunderkind. You also favor bombarding the downthroden.

Stich, ...can I call you Stich?
I don't think "bombarding the downthroden,"  is an exact quote,
because I don't even know how to spell downthroden.

You are still an idiot in my book and I'm ashamed someone like you is 'supposedly' on my side.

That's odd, because I'm really pleased to be on the team with you, Stich.
You're so pleasant and easy to work with.

I say 'supposedly' 'cause you're giving the liberals and the left a bad name.
I do think this is deliberate on your part.

Hey, if I was anti-liberal I'd be rich.

Criticizing you means being your enemy, you're not frightful enough to be my enemy, chump,

ha ha

Who told you I was trying to frightful you?
Are you getting secret messages from this website?

...that will be giving you too much importance, much more than your sorry ass deserves.
I've received emails from many who dislike your guts and feel the way I do.

You mean from the others who say I favor bombarding the downthroden? .

Wake up, you, whoever you are, you're so inflexible you're antagonizing your own side...

I should be more like you, Stich.

 The Right to Die-It's What Jesus Would Do
    by Fr. Mushroom

  Click  Here

 I got some interesting mail today.
 I had three requests for stickers..

 But there was a bulky yellow envelope, too.
 When I picked it up, I could tell there was liquid inside.
 Some exotic tequila, ...I thought.

 But turns out it was a bottle of Vermont Grade A Medium Amber Northern Comfort
 made by Maple Grove Farms of Vermont, Inc.
 "The Pride of the Northeast Kingdom," which sounds like Kennybunkport* to me.

 It was sent by Kevin Hickey...
 I'll try some in just a minute, but he also sent a generous contribution and a CD of nature pictures.
 No bikini babes, ...no, ...none of those at all, ...it was all sunsets and snow scenes and stuff,
 so you'll be seeing his pictures now & then at the top of the page.

 By the way, if you have anything that you think I should test, something like, oh, I don't know...
 maybe like, well, tequila or perhaps a bottle of your best home brew or, ...oh, I don't know,
 some local treasure that I've probably had no chance to taste, please send it to the PO Box.
 Now, I'm going to taste Kevin's Northern Comfort.

 Damn, it's thick.
 Are you sure this is whiskey?
 It's very thick and very sweet.
 I'm about eight shots into it and I can't feel a thing.

 Wait a minute!

 This isn't whiskey - this is maple syrup!
 Damn, I'll bet it'd taste good on some waffles.

 Kevin, thanks.

 I didn't want to step on Fr. Mushroom's right-to-die rant,
 but I want to remind people that the Bible says the first miracle Jesus performed
 was the divine creation of some Chinaco Anejo for some drunks at the Wedding at Canaan.

 If Jesus can create wine for the party people who drank themselves dry,
 why can't we use another of His gifts to alleviate pain for the dying?

 Ashcroft and the GOP are against pot "because it's illegal."

 Take religion out of government.
 It's the only sane thing to do.


 If you are a reporter with a story that your editor won't let you run, contact me.
 If you're "just a nobody" with some information and you have no way to get it out, contact me.

 You heard it here first

 Rumor is that as Enron and Halliburton implode, Cheney will step down "for health reasons" in March,
 ...and you won't believe who they're looking at to take Cheney's place.

 Condi Rice
 They say Condi could fill the much-needed intelligence void that Cheney's absence would create.
 It also puts Weak & Stupid in the position of being the first to "APPOINT" a black and a woman as VP.
 They figure Condi can bring blacks and women over to the dark side for November 2004.

 Down side?
 The hard right is fuming that "a spear-catcher" would be a heartbeat away and let's not kid ourselves.
 Between pretzels and impeachment, Bush may not last another three years.
 The idea that "one of them" might be president is causing turmoil for Team Smirk


 Rudy the Impaler
 Well, he's out of a job, and since Bush knows Rudy will always be remembered as the man
 who stood tall when America's president went AWOL on September 11th, he's a net plus.

 Down side?
 Rudy's still working on that whole adultery angle.
 Since they impeached Clinton for catching a little tongue, how do they justify VP Rudy
 banging his adulteress while his wife and kids are back in New York?

 Further down side for both:
 If Bush is impeached or loses a battle with a Saltine, we'd have another unelected republican president.
 Think now - Bush stole his throne after losing the 2000 election, his Daddy and Saint Reagan took power
 my making an illegal deal with Islamic Jihad, and Gerald Ford was appointed by the third-biggest crook
 to ever occupy the White House.

 That means you have to go back to 1968 to find the last legally-elected Republican.
 (And boy, what a winner he was, too)

 Oh, God, why are you punishing us this way?

 Day 6 of the Shirley Manson log

  So far,

     ...have not heard from Shirley.

  Shirley Manson - contact  bartcop.com

 I need more small Bush Family Evil Empire logo graphics.


     Send me your sticker pics!

Sticker Contest!

Click  Here

Still no sticker photos...

Don't miss today's new installment of Project 60

 Ryan invites Castro to Illinois, tongue kissing alleged

  Click  Here

 HAVANA, Cuba--Gov. Ryan arrived here Thursday, met with Fidel Castro and invited him
 to Illinois, where Ryan said he would host a state dinner in honor of the longtime Cuban leader.
 The two had a warm meeting at the presidential palace, where they expressed admiration for each other.

 Let's dump this stupid embargo and Castro will be gone in 6 months.
 Once those people get a little taste of America they're not going back
 I imagine half the teenage boys in Cuba would swim north if they saw
 a Britney Spears performance and someone told them she's into Latino men.

 A Krispy Kreme?
 A table dance?
 A White Castle hamburger?
 UPN Smackdown?
 The South's Finest Chocolate?
 Throw in some sports, some rock n roll and Jerry Springer and we have a revolution.

 "Mr. Bush, tear down this embargo."

Sadly, RB Ham is cutting back to 2-3 issues a week.

 Read today's RB Ham.

Get your Pretzel screensaver, read about Helen Thomas, read about the Big Dog,
and holy cow! - a Bras & Strings fashion show, Robert Redford, "Time Tunnel."
Michael Jackson, Pearl Jam, Stevie Wonder and the Theft of the Hollywood Bowl.

All in today's exciting 
Quentin Tarantino Left Jennifer Garner Black & Blue

Tarantino was great on last week's first-of-two parts Alias.
Maybe he just plays that same insane character real well, but he's the best!
Speed metal soundtrack, the snappy Tarantino dialog, the language mangling...
When you're tied to a chair, you do not want QT in charge of your comfort.

QT didn't meet "Red" in the first half, so look for those fight scenes tomorrow night!

Those stories and tons more, just click on 

 Happy Birthday to...

JR's wife #2 Cathy Podewell

Also born today: Al Davis (1920)  Paul Newman (1925)   Bob Uecker (1935)
                           Ellen DeGeneres (1958)   Eddie Van Halen (1955)

 I don't want The Hex on me!

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