Fair & balanced
POLITICS - HUMOR -
FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE
by Bruce Yurgil
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The Vegas Report
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Julie Hiatt Steele
Great toon by Tom Tomorrow
Sidney ...Halle ...Denzel
It was a great night for Hollywood.
Sidney located the door in 1962.
Halle cracked the door open at 11:10 CST.
Denzel kicked the door down at 11: 16 CST.
-- Flo & Eddie
"The best thing that America needs to do is
reduce demand for drugs.
We've got to do a better job of convincing our own country to quit using them."
-- President Unelected, in Peru, telling us what's wrong with America.
Hey, preachy boy!
Why don't you tell it to your drunken daughters and Unka Jeb's
felonious, driving-while-drugged pill-popping daughter Noelle?
...then preach responsibility to the rest of us.
If you ask Ol' BartCop if he's ever been busted on a cocaine charge,
the answer you get back is a clean, crisp "No!"
When you ask the man who stole the White House from the American
that very same question, he's forced to reply, "That's all in the past."
Snotty rich boys who never worked a day in their lives tend to
buy their cocaine in
quarter-pound quantities or larger. I'll bet a major drug lord likes a wholesale buyer
the same way a presidential candidate likes a visit from his Enron Bag Man.
George, it's a good thing your crime family owns the American whore press.
Thanks to your daddy, nobody will ask the questions we ask.
right to pick justices at issue
Some Democrats would block any appointment to Supreme Court
Having defeated Bush’s nominee Charles Pickering, Senate Democrats are moving
to block Bush from appointing other conservatives to the federal bench. But some are
going further, saying that because Bush lacks a popular mandate, the Senate should take
no action on any Bush nominee to a Supreme Court vacancy until after the 2004 election.
If the Senate Democrats started acting like democrats
I would send them money and urge others to do the same.
On the Bias
For the most part, Goldberg's book is a farrago of anecdotes, hearsay, and
unsupported generalizations. But at one point he strays into territory that can
actually be put to a test. That's when he claims that the media "pointedly identify
conservative politicians as conservatives," but rarely use the word "liberal" to
describe liberals. As Goldberg explains the difference: "In the world of the Jennings
and Brokaws and Rathers, conservatives are out of the mainstream and have to be
identified. Liberals, on the other hand, are the mainstream and don't have to be identified."
That basic premise is sound enough -- that
the media mention things that they see as being
out of the mainstream more often than they mention things that they see as in it. If a major
company names a seven-foot-tall Hare Krishna from Tonga as its CEO, those attributes
are more likely to show up in the story than if the new chief is a 5'10" Methodist from Ohio.
When Aaron Brown on CNN
takes on mediawhoresonline.com
bet on MWO.
Headline in the New York Whore Times
Bush Vows to Help Peru Fight Rebels
People of Peru - did he say "So help
me God?" like he did on tax cuts for the super-rich?
Bush only keeps promises when he says "So help me God."
Ask the people of Nevada what Bush's word is worth.
He vowed to keep new-cu-ler waste out of Nevada, and Nevadans
and right now 222 train car loads of till-the-end-of-time radioactive waste are
headed to Nevada because President Greedy and Stupid can't be trusted.
From: Mad Dog
Subject: Tequila observations...and a question
I need a favor. My business partner had
our Amish buddy make up
too many Rabbit Baskets, and we're sitting on an extra 40 of them. Yikes!
I've made up a page especially for bartcop.com folks, with a lower price and all that jazz.
I can guarantee delivery by Easter if I
get the order by Wednesday morning.
... I just need to get some bunnies out the door :)
Back on St Valentine's Day, Eric sent one of these to Mrs. BartCop.
saw what it was, her eyes lit up. She likes little wooden boxes with secret doors,
rolltop desks, stuff like that, and as soon as she saw it she fell right in love.
The bunny on the left is "closed." From the side, the closed
rabbit looks like this:
It's kind of a cool deal, and if you put some South's Finest Chocolate in the bunny,
you'll be hitting a home run that'll be good again next year, too.
I'd rate this a strong buy.
Ol' BartCop - tell me how I'm doing.
The Oscars had a clip of Pickles Bush saying her fave film was "Giant."
a film about a Texan striking oil
I'm going to be sick...
Going somewhere? ...like, ...maybe ...Washington DC on
Use this link and they'll send me a nickle.
"Free fries" strikes again
Ann Coulter criticized for attack on Mineta
by Lisa Friedman
"Good God!" Coulter wrote, "A guard took Mineta's baseball bat as a child,
and as a result he's subjecting all of America to the Bataan Death March!
Someone please give him a baseball bat."
Boy, ...would I like to give Ann Coulter the baseball bat.
Fever! We have a winner! Fine luxury chocolate!
Click for details
Marty ended up having 2 contests - one for the Razzies & one for the Oscars.
'Sam Hill' won the Razzie contest, getting 2 out of 3 categories.
For that, Sam gets a 'Fargo' snowdome for the Razzie prize. (applause)
The Oscar winner is Cory Aiello who hit 5 out of 7.
Cory, send Marty your snail mail address so we can ship you
a pound of the South's Finest Chocolate - mmmmmm yum!
click here for great chocolate
My mockery of religion
you didn't check in over the weekend,
you missed two truly spectacular issues.
Not really, but they might be worth a look.
Vol 754 Never Trust Anyone
Vol 753 I've Cut All my Losses
"Osama bin Laden is no longer a threat
- he's no concern anymore."
-- The boy king
Your daddy made the same mistake with Saddam.
Now you're going to send our brave men to mop up his mistake, right?
So in a few years, after The Scalia Gang gives the White House
over the will of the voters, will he have to mop up your mistakes of 2002?
Why don't you stay after bin Laden until you find him?
I've been told by a ditto-monkey that bin Laden is scheduled
to be "found dead" this October, just before the elections.
...another October Surprise by the Bush Family Evil Empire.
Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele
April 27th in Washington D.C.
Don't forget to check
When We All Lead
click to order Buy 3, get free shipping
Rep. Wexler Grills Kenny Starr about harrassing Julie Hiatt Steele
MR. STARR: Before I engaged in an admission or denial, I would want to see the question.
And I would be delighted to receive the question, and I would then give you a written admission or denial.
REP. WEXLER: Didn't I make it simple?
You'd be crazy to trust me -
but trust me.
We're one e-mail away from tripling the cost of tickets to Juliefest2002
Could I be lying?
Sure, but not about this - not this time.
I told a couple of people, and they all used the "F" word to describe
Once the dam breaks, I can't even get my good friends in because there's only so
many people who can fit in the plane.
You can still get in for only $75
...hold on, let me check my e-mail...
...yes, you can still get in for just $75
but if/when that e-mail hits,
tickets may go to $225 without notice, because there's just not enough room.
If I was lying I'd tell you.
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2002,
Shirley Manson - contact bartcop.com